Barely Funny Puns

I Don't Trust people that do Acupuncture, They are all Backstabbers

If Hilter was a sea creature he'd be adolfin.

Someone in a steamroller whistled and ran up on me today. Needless to say, I was flattered.

You can never really trust stairs, they're always up to something.

Because he had no body to go with.

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.

I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.