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was there ever a time that i didn't love you? i always have: in the kisses neatly lined down my shoulders, to where your fingers dug and buried their bones. in the epilogue: an afterthought at the bus stop where i recede and float with the rest of your memories: a lonely ghost that follows you home — reaches for your hand, traces the apollo line, then lets go. was there ever a time that i didn't love you? i always have: in microdoses of longing on rose gold floors. in october's sunglow, dripping away like melting flames — burning, but not enough to numb. in the doleful chatters of the dusk. in the darkness, we are not lovers — we are merely the envy of poems, the ones i couldn't write several selves ago — but all of them have loved you one way or another, this i confess. distorted and quiet. desperate and clear. in all forms remanent. in all forms alive in all forms, yours. was there a time i didn't love you?

“When someone lets their guard down around you, it’s like they’re saying, ‘I value you enough to trust you with this side of myself.’ Never abuse this privilege. It’s not a side of themselves that everyone is lucky enough to see.”

find someone who knows you’re sad just by the change of tone in your voice

“There was once a very great American surgeon named Halsted. He was married to a nurse. He loved her-immeasurably. One day Halsted noticed that his wife’s hands were chapped and red when she came back from surgery. And so he invented rubber gloves. For her. It is one of the great love stories in medicine. The difference between inspired medicine and uninspired medicine is love. When I met Ana I knew: I loved her to the point of invention.”

“Can you imagine a love so gentle and honest, that it fundamentally changes a person’s nature for the better? Can you imagine a love so good and pure, that it changes someones life?”

“It will suddenly work out for you. You’re going to come out on top. Be ready for incredible changes to happen in your life.”

““I hope we last. I hope we do. But if we don’t, this is how I want you to remember me: I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you. Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too. If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending. Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.”

Glee Stats: Santana

“Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there; I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.”

“The fact is, I don’t know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn’t collapse when you beat your head against it.”