🖕🏼

love will teach you how to sleep with one eye open and to never fully fall asleep in case they text you with that break up text. it teaches you how to wrap yourself on him and kiss him until he smiles and you can feel his smile without even looking at him. love teaches you how to scream and fight and more screaming and more fighting, usually over the same things. love is funny that way you see you have that constant lump in the bottom of your throat and that pit in your stomach that things are going to go bad before they even do.  and you expect the end before it even ends.  if love teaches you one thing is learn to fall down, learn the pain your head will feel when you wake up the next morning realizing he doesn’t want to fix things and realize that you need to learn to fix the open wounds he left on your ribcage that night when he punched out words you never thought he’d say, you swear it felt like bruises on the side of your body. realize that you will have to accept the fact that you may still love him but he probably never loved you. sometimes you need to know that we confuse love and lust, or the idea of love seems beautiful so we pretend its there. i wish you saw my eyes when id look at you when you’d look away maybe then you’d start feeling the same way. i wish fucking me made you fall in love with me. but we learn the hard way that things wont buy someones love and time wont mean they'll appreciate you more and sex wont make them see you as beautiful. love teaches you that you wasted 1 year of your time with someone who couldn’t even remember your birthday or doesn't even know that your right eye is a bit bigger than your left.

The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap, I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don’t buy it. Be smart. Be thoughtful. And be generous.

Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are.

Felix Gonzalez-Torres Untitled (Perfect Lovers) 1991. Clocks, paint on wall.