Bexasaurus Rex

testing

Just for the record, the reason that my mom's issues bother me so much is in large part because I am upset to see my mother's mental faculties unraveling. I used to think it was grief and PTSD that made her so unbearable to be around sometimes, but the truth of the matter is it's probably been this cancer in her head making her gradually worse. I used to get along with her really well. I used to say to myself, wow, I'm glad I get along with my mom so much better than most of my friends get along with their mothers. I miss that. I will never have that again. She will always be this frustrating and lowkey abusive. With my own issues being untreated, for various reasons (location and poor access to services being some of them), I can't just take it in stride when she's acting like she has Alzheimer's. I can't tell her I don't want to talk about something that's stressing me out without her getting mad and muttering about "being sick of her kids treating her like a child". I can't tune her out without her getting her feelings hurt. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and getting ground into paste in the process.