Lockley

First they weld you into a death trap, then they give you homework? This place is a nightmare

The term “zombie” is both a technical term, referring to a family, and a common name, referring to a genus.

The family Zombie is a broad, overarching group that includes the genus that many people call zombie (Ghoulus, not to be confused with Ghouli, the unrelated genus of the Ghala family which also includes bogeymen and some ghosts*) as well as the Mummy genus (Pyrima), the spore-zombie genus (Fungan) and a few others.

The colloquial term “Zombie” is the common term for the genus Ghoulus, which is in the family Zombie and includes Ghoulus romero (the walking zombie), Ghoulus snydera (the running zombie), and Ghoulus smithi (the vampiric zombie, also called the legendary zombie).

Interestingly, there are several things called “zombies” that are neither Ghoulus nor Zombie, including the dancing zombie (Jacksoni thrillera), which is more closely related to (although not currently actually in the same family as) clowns.

*Note: the ghosts in the Ghala family are not true ghosts. True ghosts are in the order Spectere, which is entirely unrelated to Ghouli, Ghoulus, Pyrima, and Fungan. Ghala “ghosts” are given the common name ghost because of their superficial similarity to true ghosts.

the closest to a domesticated ghost we have is the house ghost, Phantome domus (sometimes classified as a distinct subspecies Phantome domus domesticus).

P. domus is interesting because it’s like housecats – they are technically domesticated (scans have shown that the fight-or-flight response, like in domesticated animals, is weaker in P. domus than in related species like P. majestica, the manor ghost, or P. more, the cemetary ghost), but evidence suggests that it’s a naturalistic co-evolution rather than an intentional domestication process like with sheep or dogs.

Okay, so what if all of that was taken away from him?

I already have 2 BvZ ocs whos entire characters are based off of a pun ( Jack and Hanz ), so I figured I should make another. Here’s Billie Jawn

Also Rocky stayed home and Adrian (a scientist) was on the blip-a

BUT I feel like I have a very different take than I normally see on how Swap!Grace would act—

I feel like Grace definitely would be all scared like I've seen at times, but I feel like we forget how smart he is!!! He would put that calculating brain to use!!! His whole thing is he’s a coward bc he doesn’t want to die so he’d definately use his brain all he can to keep himself alive.

Personally, I think he would be cold, reserved, very careful with his words but also maybe stutters? (bc | think Grace was born to be a motormouth and having to restrain himself brings Issues) but also extremely manipulative and sneaky.

Like, imagine, maybe threeish days after Simon rescued him (they're on Erid) Grace gets up early to make them breakfast. Simon is delighted, obviously (both bc brekkie!! And!! Grace is warming up to him!!) and scarfs down the (honestly less that stellar but hell if he’ll complain about it) meal and the coffee Grace also made for him.

As Simon down the last drop Grace stares coldly at him. Simon chuckles nervously "...What?"

Grace is silent for a moment, then, "The poison will have you dead in approximately twenty minutes unless I tell you the chemical compound of the antidote.

You will escort me to the nearest spacefaring ship and then and only then will I give the formula to you. Do you understand?"

Just things like that :3

Like LET HIM USE HIS SCIENCE BRAIN!!!!! HE DOESN'T NEED TO BE VIOLENT OR PHYSICALLY STRONG LIKE SIMON IS!!!! BUT HE CAN STILL ACT NEGATIVELY!!!! HES A DIFFERENT PERSON AND CAN BE TERRIFYING IN DIFFERENT WAYS!!! :DDDDDDDD

LET ME HAVE SCARY SCIENTIST GRACE!!!!!! LET 👏 ME 👏 HAVE 👏 HIM 👏

(Also additionally after the scene I mentioned I think the rest plays out like this :)))

Simon tells Grace that “uhhhh sorry there aren’t actually any ships that can fly rn 😅 Mary is still being fixed up”

But Grace is like “bs take me to a ship right now. I will not tell you the antidote without one and I can promise you that it will work and it will be painful.”

And Simon’s like “… uuuuhhhhmmmm well I can’t but it’s actually fine bc Adrian can just figure out how to reverse engineer at least a semi permanent antidote real quick she’s smart like that :)”

And Grace (in his head) is just like “……CRAP I just threatened to KILL my captor I am SO dead he’s gonna kill me! Nononononono—“

From what we see, Grace is frequently the sassiest bitch around, he just gets creative (staggering waste of carbon???) and uses filler words rather than actual swear words (bc being a middle school teacher will do that to you). But I also noticed that when he did swear, it was like riding a bike. When he said "I was full of shit" it wasn't awkward or like he was forcing himself to do something he wasn't used to, it felt natural.

Simon, on the other hand (heh), has a tendency to just say variations of the word "fuck" for everything. "Shut the fuck up," "fuck me," throwing a "fucking" into any sentence when he's upset. He rarely used any other swear words (I know he said "shit" at least once and he called himself a "dumbass"), which makes me think that maybe he didn't grow up swearing but had to learn later in life (probably in prison, let's be fr) and now it always comes out a little clunky.

So I like to imagine a reverse au would also swap their swearing habits (bc that's funny!!). Simon ran a robotics club for kids and doesn't swear anymore, but instead of wasting brain power on anything other than engineering, he just slaps a "frick" over any bad word he wants to say and calls it a day. "Oh frick." "Are you fricking serious?" "What the frick."

Grace, meanwhile, would have the mouth of a sailor that regularly slips into borderline prose. Still cold, still calculating, well into the habit of biting his tongue, but if pushed far enough? Oh honey, he'll just go off.

So in the fallout of the aforementioned incident -

Simon: Hey hey hey- will you just fricking listen to me!? We're not going to kill you! Maybe take away your access to chemicals for a while, but-

Grace: Bull-fucking-shit!

Simon: Can you please just trust me for a second!?

Grace: Listen here you sorry excuse of a scientist! Life has been fucking me raw with no lube since the day I got spat out of the womb! Now all of a sudden I wake up in a biodome with Tweedledee and Tweedledipshit telling me everything is fine!? Oh, you're just gonna feed me, clothe me, house me, let me put actual fucking poison in your breakfast, for nothing in return? Like hell am I believing that! You're keeping me alive for some kind of sick, fucked up experiment, and until I find out what it is I'm not trusting your fatass as far as I can throw you!

Grace, of course, goes on to regret his outburst and doesn't speak at all for several days afterwards (monitoring the outcome), but at least now Simon knows what he's so worried about. Now how to convince an abused scientist that he's not going to be used as a lab rat?