Sunset lover

1. Even if you feel like throwing up, and there is a lump in your throat, eat that meal. 2. If you haven’t showered today, then do it now. Also, please remember to wash your hair, it’s already been a week. 3. Looking at old pictures of you two smiling, or those pictures you took of him sleeping next to you has never made it easier. Don’t. 4. Trying to get the taste of his kiss out of your mouth by chugging a bottle of vodka by yourself is never a good idea. Alcohol is a depressant. 5. Wash your bed linen, it doesn’t even smell like him anymore. Also, don’t stare at the empty side of bed at night. 6. Don’t check your phone every two minutes. He didn’t text you. If he did, you must have heard that. 7. Delete all the bookmarks about the trip you were planning for your anniversary. 8. Don’t listen to all those love songs he dedicated to you. They will only result in a panic attack. 9. I know that you can’t even remember your life before him, but please remember this - you were whole before you met him. You are still whole now that he left.

And my god, I hope you wake up one morning to someone who loves you like you’re a sunflower and they’re desperate to keep you alive. I hope you dance with them in the small space of your kitchen floor, messy hair and tired eyes because you both been up all night watching movies again. I hope you laugh with them in a way you never did with anyone else, head tilted back and lips apart as you let out every sound your laugh can possibly make and I hope to god you don’t try to cover your mouth. And if you do, because that’s okay, I know I sometimes do, I hope they stop you. I hope they grab your hand before it ever comes in contact with your lips and I hope they hold it to their chest as they watch you with kind loving eyes. Because fuck, everyone knows you deserve it. And I hope you find someone who’ll accept you. I hope they accept your messy hair in the early morning of the day and I hope they accept the way you sometimes talk too much and can’t seem to stop when you’re nervous or how you still cry yourself to sleep on some nights. I hope they hold you and kiss you on the places where you’re most insecure at and I hope to god you let them. I hope you find someone who makes you happy, even when you feel like sometimes, life is too hard for you. And I hope that when you both come across a tough situation and it comes down to a choice where you are one of them, I hope they choose you. Every goddamn time, I hope they choose you.

i can’t wait to be 25 Years older and look back on these poems, these pieces of my heart, and call myself naive

Sooner or later people will learn to recognize your worth.

And I’ll say goodbye, To all the hurt you caused me, To all the moments you’ve made me cry, To all the pain I’ve suffered through, To all the dreams we’ve made, To all the love I’ve shared, And I’ll say goodbye.

2017; you taught me more than I could handle. I learned love, loss, everything in between.

To heal, you must learn to be alone.

You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me.