Stranger To Blue Water

July 19, 2017

What is it about summer that I hate so much? Sure, I hate the humidity and I hate being so hot. I hate sweating and not being able to wear the clothes I want. But, there’s something else about it that I seem to dislike so much.  

Summer always seems to be the time when life slows down, and I don’t do well when I’m bored. If I’m not traveling or going on an adventure, summer is utterly dull and I end up having existential crises just trying to figure out what to do with myself. 

But, when fall comes, I feel myself come back alive. The clothes, the food, the drinks, the cool air... I’m obsessed with scarves and sweaters, and this is the time I get to wear them. It’s a time of new beginnings, with school, jobs, and everything starting anew-- an ironic idea since in all other mythologies this is when things begin to die. I love the sound of crackling leaves and the crisp scent in the air, and the colors are always delightful. Not to mention my hair loves the drier air! 

July 13, 2017

When all you want to do is hide in a cave somewhere, and somehow you end up looking up all the different community theater productions to get involved in.

When you’ve found yourself feeling lost and you think, yeah, that’s a good idea. I should do theater. 

July 9, 2017

I haven’t traveled outside of the country in a full year. 

A year ago today, I was touching down in Japan, ready for another adventure. And, surely enough, I had an adventure, quickly followed by a feeling of satisfaction with being home. 

Now I’m itching to go again. To go somewhere and do something. To meet interesting people and to taste delicious foods. My parents were in town, so we had Indian, Cuban, and Balkan food, and it was all delightful. But, it also made me realize just how much I need to get out of this country. See something new, challenge myself, and then come home with a new appreciation of being home. 

I ache to see somewhere new. To feel the thrill of entering an airport knowing it would soon lead me somewhere exciting. Or frightening. Or awful. Just somewhere! 

June 26, 2017

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how unlucky I’ve been.  Dreaming of working for the government only to find myself in perhaps the worst time to get into government, stuck in endless limbos, my friends all seeming to live everywhere but near...

But, today (after a brief moment of extreme boredom and existential contemplation), I began to wonder if, perhaps, I’ve been lucky in a lot of ways. I live in DC, a city where a significant amount of people have their heads stuck up their butts, and yet I’ve found an office full of down-to-earth individuals where having fun and laughing isn’t a crime. I have a roommate who isn’t awful and who has an awesome cat. I live in a place that isn’t infested with mice and the landlord isn’t ridiculous. 

I’ve been toying with the idea of leaving DC for a while now. Part of me has gotten fed up with some of the culture here, but at the same time, I’ve managed to find decent people. I’ve been in a state of unease for the past few days, but at least I’m clothed, housed, and have a routine to keep me sane. 

May 20, 2017

I live and breathe by my budget, since I have to make sure my few resources go a long way. But, once in a while, you have to just treat yourself to something nice, even though it will shrink your budget more than you expect. 

Enter the quintessential DC Ethiopian experience. A former classmate and I went on Saturday to a new Ethiopian restaurant nearby. It had a great interior and a really wonderful owner. The food itself was delicious, although I wish I had gotten more variety. I ended up with a mild beef curry and a side of spicy chickpeas, which was heavenly. But it awoke inside of me the desire to eat more Ethiopian.

I’ve always loved food adventures, but they’ve been on the decline lately, it seems. This trip to the Ethiopian restaurant, however, has awoken in me the desire to fulfill my travel itch while still in the U.S., by trying new and diverse restaurants. 

After lunch, I still had more to do. Armed with a cute gift bag filled with diapers and hilarious onesies, I went to a friend’s baby shower. Witness the glory of what we had to eat, complete with a cake that just said “Babies!” :

My friend was having twins, and decided not to know the sex of the babies, so it was a challenge finding items for her, especially with how gendered everything is for babies and children at stores. However, the baby shower itself was fun at least. Or, rather, seeing my friend embarking on her new journey was a wonderful thing. And wandering through Target just to waste time left me feeling all sorts of nostalgic! 

I will admit, however, the weekend left me feeling slightly uneasy. Reconnecting with old friends means that you learn about what they’re up to these days, and I seem to have reached the second wave of friends “adulting.” The first wave happened while I was in Japan, when everyone from high school seemed to be getting married and having babies. Eventually I chocked that up to southern culture and people feeling pressured to get married only because everyone around them was. 

But, now I seem to be reaching the next wave, where more and more people are “adulting” once more. Except, this time it’s not just getting married or having babies. It’s learning that a friend of mine is buying a condo. Or someone else is taking nice vacations from their cushy job. To have that kind of stability or predictability is something I thought I would have a bit sooner after graduate school.  

May 12, 2017

Something bit me while in Japan, and now I just can’t shake it. Spending two years in Syracuse without leaving the country was bad enough, but now that I’m in DC and trying to save money, it’s hard not traveling even within the US. I want to go to Seattle to see my brother and sister-in-law. I want to go to Maine to see my grad school friend. And I so desperately want to go overseas! Europe to see friends. Southeast Asia or the Caribbean to go to the beaches. I’m longing for adventure again, and I wonder if it’ll be sated any time soon. 

At the moment, I have a job, but it doesn’t pay well enough nor does it give very good vacation benefits. So I’m stuck until I accrue enough vacation at the very least. It’s nice not going into the red every month with my budget, but I miss the days of living in Japan where it seemed like my money and my time off went so much farther. Even in a crunch, I could get in a car and drive to a waterfall or see a monkey. 

The world seems more and more vast as I learn about all the places that the people at work have gone to. Timor Leste, Portugal, Iceland, Eastern Europe, Ghana, Tanzania... they all sound so exciting. My world has been expanding rapidly since I went to Japan, and it will likely only continue to do so. 

May 11, 2017

I haven’t written on this blog in a while. It’s a cold, rainy day, and my life has been unbearably stagnant while also slowly moving forward, bit by bit. A new job, a 50-minute commute, and a slew of hobbies have all been keeping me occupied, but at moments I still get that sting of loneliness. Trying to keep in touch with friends is so difficult when they live across the city– state– country– world. Why do I keep making friends with people who move away? 

I suppose pain like this is to be expected. 

Or maybe it’s the rain. 

My life is a waiting game right now, but let’s be real– it’s been that way for a while. Waiting for the next thing to begin. Waiting for things to get better. Waiting for my career to start. I’ve been waiting since Japan. I was waiting during grad school. Waiting after graduation. I’m still waiting. And, the longer I wait, the more I question if I’m going the right direction. If I’m waiting for the right things.

I’ve been thinking about moving back to Seattle, but if I did, would that solve anything? Would the city be the same? Would the people be the same? Sure, I’d have family there now. But, is my love of the city just a function of nostalgia, or is it really the right place for me? Rent is rising in Seattle, and soon enough it’ll be more expensive than where I live now. I was born in DC, so I feel a pull to this place as well. Maybe what I really need is a good ol’ adventure. When I was in Japan, whenever I’d feel stuck, I’d book a flight to some far off place. I feel constrained now. America is so far from everything, and I don’t quite have the money or they vacation days to just go somewhere.

Things I don't like: 

When clothes smell like food after going to a restaurant When people sing to themselves 

 When the DC Metro breaks down 

 People not responding to me (email/text/phone/etc) 

 Pressurized ears after/during a cold 

 When people clap after a movie in a theater 

People playing their music on the bus out loud (no headphones)

 Things I DO Like: 

Savory breakfast foods 

Tall buildings 

Coffee 

Service dogs  

When service people on the phone are patient and nice 

Waking up and not being tired 

Walking aimlessly through Bed Bath and Beyond 

Seeing movies in theaters by myself in the middle of the day

January 3, 2016

There’s something so incredibly healing when you see an animated Disney movie in a theater just because you want to. 

I don’t go to movies often, especially since graduating high school, so it’s become somewhat of a special occasion. Sometimes there will be a movie that I really want to see, but either there’s no one who will see it with me, or I just forget to go. 

Other times, I have a lot of time on my hands, and I feel myself so bored I go crazy. These moments tend to make me bummed out as well, so today I went on an adventure to see a movie on my own in the middle of the day. It was Moana, and it was a delight to watch!