Ich binnen einen Spacerfrau

Courtney, this is not a democracy, it’s a cheerocracy.

I’ve been on this hellsite for six whole years. Lemme tell you some things you should know, and things I’ve learned to ignore over the years.

Don’t let tumblr dot fuck make staying inside 24/7 and not talking to anyone seem cool. This bullshit has been around for a VERY long time on the website. When I was 13-14, I thought I was doing something wrong by not wanting to stay in my room all day, and attempting to be social. That is WRONG. Introvert or not, staying alone in your room, slumped over and mindlessly scrolling, or watching videos until your eyes hurt is NOT the kind of behavior that should be encouraged.

Don’t be a snarky asshole. You see this bullshit all the time; someone trying to be positive, and some edgelord dragging them down. Don’t be that person.

Factcheck. I see people making posts (mostly political) about some crazy bullshit that never even happened. It takes .5 seconds to google something to see if it’s fake or not.

Don’t cling onto anyone who labels themselves a ‘fandom mom/dad/parent’ They will manipulate you to do their bidding like some stupid minions. On this note; do not let yourself be recruited by ANYONE. Make your own decisions. 

If you like something, you like something. Cringe culture is everywhere, but as long as you mind your own business, don’t hurt anyone, and don’t try to force your interests on others, you’re golden.

Fiction does NOT equal reality. A lot of people on here are trying to convince people that fiction affects reality. This is just…fucking stupid on a lot of levels. 

Try to better yourself. Too many people on here make ‘relatable’ posts about depression, BPD, etc. Just because you have bad habits, doesn’t mean you should keep them. If you are able to, see a professional, get help, go on meds–whatever you can do.

Don’t tell people to kill themselves. I can’t believe this made it onto the list, but yeah. These phrases are just SOME of the many. Don’t be a fucking asshole. “Pee your pants” “Run in front of a bus” “Choke” “Delete yourself”

Rafael Barba being unfairly seductive in every episode

Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez victim of magic as Peru fans curse him with tortoise

Are there good white soccer players?

Asamoah Gyan holding press conference to deny he used rapper as human sacrifice

Shaqiri: “One time I was injured at Inter and Mancini sent me to a miraculous healer in the mountains. Didn’t help me at all. At Stoke we’ve got seven physios.”

Hernanes on celebrating after scoring against his old club- “It was the saddest backflip of my career”

Zlatan apologizes for calling France a shit country

“Balotelli is very nice, but he used to pee on our boots” - Kerlon

Buddhist monks behind Leicester City incredible start, claims Vardy

Lasagna scores an injury time goal that will be hard to digest for Inter fans (Inter-Carpi 1-1)

Benitez sacking not announced yet because the area for press conference is occupied for a kids party

Michail Antonio is no Homer Simpson, says West Ham boss Slaven Bilic

Daniel Sturridge admits to spraying fragrance on kit before games and enjoying smelling of strawberries

Slaven Bilic on Big Sam: “The players will respect him. He’s a big man. He’s Big Sam. You see him on the television, he fills the screen. You are looking for the board with the sponsors names behind. Where have they gone? You can’t see them.”

Tokelo Rantie dropped from South Africa national team for farting at the coach: “The flatulence was so suffocating that the putrid stench continues to hover over the team like a dark cloud.”

Harry Redknapp says he wants to sign Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Birmingham City, but the player wishes to be a pornstar.

Leroy Fer on accidentally buying a €30,000 horse: “Sh*t I’ve got a horse”

Porto claim they’ve access to emails which confirm Benfica spent €70k on witchcraft last season to help them win the Liga

Mike Ashley: “I am not Obi Wan Kenobi in charge of the Death Star”

Dick Advocaat (Dutch national team coach) last week: “Sweden won’t win 8-0 against Luxembourg”. At the moment, Sweden is leading 8-0 against Luxembourg

New Bayern coach Heynckes at press conference: “My daughter and my wife advised me on my decision. Then my dog Cando barked twice and the deal was sealed.”

Carles Puyol slapped by dildo wielding fan in Russia after World Cup draw

Moise Kean’s father claim Juve owe him farming equipment in exchange for a contract with his son

Franck Ribéry tells a fan to “go and eat his grandma’s ass”

Saudi Player faces jail time for dabbing