every fairytale needs

i’m glad chris evans is a celebrity and not a regular person because i don’t know what i’d do if i saw him making me a latte at starbucks or cashing my check at the bank or teaching my english class

making out is one of the most underrated things in the world of sex like one of the best feelings on earth is tongue on tongue, biting each other’s lips and pressing your bodies together and grinding your hips into each other while your breathing mixes and making out is just so ugh god

my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me

this is an episode of SVU.

when i die i want that cool thing done where they take your ashes and pressurise them enough to turn them into a precious gem. i then want that gem forged into a swords hilt so my heir can avenge me because im not dying unless im killed i can assure you

CHRIS R U OKAY

CHRIS YOU CAN’T JUST DO SHIT LIKE THIS.

BUT BOY AM I GLAD HE DID

CHRIS DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE

HE’S TRYING TO ERADICATE THE WHOLE WOMAN POPULATION

I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.

if i had my licence the only thing i’d use it for is mcdonalds at 3am