Becoming Benjamin

Just to see what the hype is all about.... #sarahah #transgender #ftm #lgbtq

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another -Anatole France There is truth in that quote for me, being a transgender human being. Caitlin, the one who was born a girl, has not died nor will she ever. She will always be apart of me. I carry her memories with me. However, she has lived out her life, and now is the time for Benjamin. He is me, I am him. #lgbt #ftm #transgender #femaletomale #testosterone #anotolefrance #melancholy

I avoid public bathrooms and I don't normally go when I'm at work, because I am always scared someone my parents know is going to walk in and see me there. (We all work in the same area). I have a rational fear of being outed. But from time to time I really have to go. I walk around the building to find a bathroom that no one is in. Even though I can clearly pass for being male and never get mistaken for female. Ever. But I still fear public bathrooms. But today I took the plunge and decided to take a picture. Plus it had good lighting. Haha. #ftm #transgender #trans #transproblems #bathroomfears #femaletomale

Drinking on a Sunday with the parents and Dads friend Rob. #sundayfunday #familytime #ftm #lgbt #trans

Happy 4th everyone! #merica #july4th #trans #transman #lgbt #ftm #independenceday

The beach is a great place to reflect on the past and think about the future. And I did just that. #ftm #transmenofig #transman #trans #lgbt #blueismyfavoritecolor #beachtime #reflect

Since today is Tuesday. And I haven't done a comparison in a long time. Here you go boys and girls and those in between. Eat your heart out ;) Left: 1 week on T Right: 1 year and 7 months on T #ftm #tranformationtuesday #transgender #femaletomale #lgbt #transman #transmenofig #testosterone #eatyourheartout #hrt #vitaminT

Change is constantly happening, even when you don't know that it is. #lgbt #transman #transgender #ftm #femaletomale #testosterone #hrt

Happy Mother's Day to this goofball. Mom, I love you with all my heart. I couldn't ask for a better mom than you. You are the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful woman in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. #happymothersday

Ya boy graduated college tonight! #collegegrad #ftm #trangender #lgbt #femaletomale #timeforanewadventure

Changes. Right:pre testosterone Left: 1 year and 7 months on testosterone #ftm #femaletomale #testosterone #trangender #lgbt #changes

Here's to #nationalsiblingday! My how things have changed. My little brother will always be my heart no matter how much he pisses me off. Love ya Bubba! #ftm #lgbt #trans #gay #littlebrothernotsolittle #brothers

Today was my first day back in the gym after my 4 month hiatus. I spent the first week before hitting the gym getting my body on a system. I watched my macros, counted my calories, and drank well over a gallon of water a day to detox before I started back at the gym. And boy you can definitely tell the difference just after 1 week, my body does feel cleaner and healthier. So here's to the next 14 weeks. I am 4lbs down only 50lbs to go to hit my goal of 155lbs. #ftm #trans #transman #transfitness #ftmfitness #lgbt #gains #weightloss #muscles #fitness #workout #detox #sweatoutthosetoxins #proud

Thank you #Snapchat. Glitter beard on fleek! #ftm #ftmofinstagram #lgbt #trans

Today is #transdayofvisibility. When I started my transition, I was scared. I was anxious, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't want anyone to know. I first came out to a few close friends of mine and my girlfriend at the time. I did everything by the book, the standard three month of therapy and such. And then my therapist would not give me my letter for hormones until I told my parents. I came out to my parents on November 18th, 2014. I knew what to expect going in, and it went just the way I expected. I am no longer in hiding. With a few exceptions of family members whom I will not tell. But to the rest of the world I am Benjamin Cale Smith and I am a transgender male. A thank you to all of those who support me and to all of those who support the trans community! #trans #trangender #ftm #ftmofinstagram #lgbt #transdayofvisibility #thisiswhattranslookslike

I love the person I have become because I fought so hard to become him. #trans #lgbt #ftm #trangender #ftmofinstagram #pride