as brittany once said: you better work bitch ✊😔

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

i hope the original author sees this thread go by (or y'all are leaving comments on ao3), there is a A LOT of love in the tags and they absolutely deserve it

hey, I'm isaac chotiner I wrote this! I thought a small handful of people might enjoy it and instead it is by some margin the most popular thing I've ever posted on ao3. two key takeaways: 1) the people crave affectionate fidelity to the new yorker style guide, and 2) yuletide rules

Matt Levine linked to my fic in Money Stuff and described it as "Isaac Chotiner/Shirley Jackson fan fiction," I feel like I'm on drugs and/or hallucinating

I was mugged by snow white and the seven dwarves the other day. six dwarves now, I suppose. kneed dipshit or dopey or whatever he was called in the eye socket so hard he died before his limp body hit the ground. they all scattered after that. I'll never forget how they wailed his name

I wish irl grinding was as fun as in videogames tbh. Like yeah i need to go to work a thousand times but after that i have enough materials to buy a house. But alas, houses arent real

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved