as brittany once said: you better work bitch ✊😔

And i shit you not the pasta was creepy

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

i love you consistent meals i love you steady blood sugar i love you little snacks i love you non-diet foods i love you full-fat yogurt i love you sugary drinks i love you intuitive eating i love you full stomach i love you breaking free from diet culture i love you body that just wants to keep me alive

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

”there’s no glory in suffering” and “sometimes the effort is the point” are two ideas that co-exist but god damn if I can ever tell when’s the time for which

What’s your fantasy?

I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.

reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true

dead wife montage but it's a henchman reminiscing about da boss after he got put six feet under. picking flowers before hiding the bodies, wiping cocaine from your nose after a big night, that long drive down the beach to find the bookie who squealed. where did the days go

today someone asked me what my favorite even-toed ungulate is… god, who could decide?

this was ignorant of me to post. of course its the muskox

NEAT

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

did you know that apparently if you try to act normal the normalness doesn't come through but the acting does. and did you know apparently everyone can smell this on you like a bloodhound

you have a headache because you have powers

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

in a way i am my own dead wife

what a beautiful time of year everyone is growing veegtables for me spacifically, one problem though you need to make fences shorter im sure its a mistake but i cant reach some of them

hello imptortant message from deer youyr doing it agen. i cant eet the vegbals you are growing for me like this