dont get insomnia the night before you have a 10 hour day 👍
One Nice Bug Per Day
Xuebing Du

Kiana Khansmith


oozey mess
🪼
tumblr dot com
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Show & Tell
taylor price
𓃗
official daine visual archive
NASA
untitled

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever
sheepfilms

seen from Switzerland

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia

seen from Canada

seen from Colombia
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Uzbekistan

seen from Singapore
seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from Malaysia
@beloathedbeloved
dont get insomnia the night before you have a 10 hour day 👍

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Albert Camus, from a letter to María Casares featured in Correspondance, 1944-1959
okay so maybe it's insomnia lol
concept
i start a cover band called the transsexally hip. i am the only transsexual in the band. i learn to play bass. we only learn like 5 hip songs and then we just play a bunch of other canadian shit hashtag CanCon. we take song requests. anyone who wants to join for any amount of songs is welcome. we become the house band at a local bar.
sometimes i can't believe my partner hasn't left me. either they're tolerating too much or i have a completely skewed self-image. but i just think if people knew about what our fights are like, they'd tell my partner to pack up and run

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i can't fall asleep at night tossing and turning can't stop thinking about what if this was all a mistake what if i've fucked up again and i put all my eggs in one basket and now i don't want it. i'm afraid i'm falling out of love. i feel so far away from my partner and nothing i've tried makes me feel any closer. we keep arguing and fighting and miscommunicating and i just go blank. we have sex and i imagine it's someone else. my chest has been tight for days and i spend so much time daydreaming about someone i can't have and it's so fucked because my life with my partner is so amazing and i love everything about it except now i've got this feeling that maybe i need to be alone to figure myself out a bit and learn who i am when i'm alone. i've spent the past several years trying to shape my life to accommodate another person, a life partner, and i'm going through so many changes. we met when i was 20 and now i'm 25 and i am just not the same person anymore and to be fair neither is my partner we've been growing and changing together and i think i can keep doing that we don't need to break up so that i can learn about myself but the problem is what i need to learn about myself (do i want to fuck men) kinda requires some experience (fucking men) that i cannot have because we are monogamous and i was so happy with that for so long but now i'm thinking about nonmonogamy again and last time this happened it was the sign that i needed to break up with my ex and i did but this time it's way more serious my ex and i knew each other for a total of maybe 4 months i have been with my partner for over 4 years and we are engaged and the wedding venue is booked and i'm having all these doubts and i'm picking fights and finding reasons to get mad and i'm not being accommodating or reciprocal and i feel like a liar and a cheater but there's just some things you can't talk about and i'm not cheating on them by imagining scenarios in my head. i wish someone could tell me what to do i wish someone could just enlighten me with the answer of What The Fuck I'm Supposed To Do About This because i'm drawing a blank and it shows on my face i feel like a ghost in my own life and i'm trying to just go about business as usual but it's hard because for whatever reason my heart's just not in it right now and there's just nothing i can do i can't leave this relationship too much of my life is wrapped into it and if it ends i will kinda just have to kill myself because it would be me and my fault that i ruined the best thing i had going for me and everyone thinks we're the perfect couple we're the model for literally all our friends and we seem so healthy and it all seems so great but for the past month and a bit i have just felt awful and miserable and everything feels wrong even though i know that it's right and this will probably pass (it did last time i was seriously wondering if i was falling out of love) but is it a bad sign that i already went through a period of thinking i was falling out of love what if this is all a big mistake and i rushed into getting engaged when i wasn't ready when i didn't know enough about myself when i wasn't far enough into hrt transition i can't even cry about it most of the time because of the fucking testosterone and i have almost nobody to talk to about this and the people i want to talk to about it most aren't here or are busy and i'm honestly scared to talk to anyone about it because what if i say the words out loud what if i admit to someone that i'm thinking of ending what was supposed to be my lifelong relationship and then it becomes true. i'm scared that i've even written it down here. this is all so bad it feels so fucking bad or i just feel numb like last night when i kind of softlaunched the idea of breaking up to my partner and they freaked out and cried and we said we didn't want to lose each other and we love each other more than anything and my heart just didn't feel in it and that's so sad i just keep going blank
my job is fantastic i live with my fiancee in a lovely apartment in the most fun neighbourhood i am surrounded by friends my music is fulfilling and fun my meds work i am transitioning how i want literally everything is good right now and I FEEL SO FUCKING HORRIBLE
all i ever want to do is read because my own life is becoming intolerable. i want to live in someone else's world, someone else's words. the only time i feel okay is when i'm reading about something that is not my life. and then sometimes i pick up a book and it's too close to my own life and i have to put it down. but usually i can pick up a book and just disappear. i don't want to hear my own thoughts. i don't want to live my life anymore. everything is pretty much perfect and i'm miserable. some way to live.
there is never an ending where i am not the bad guy. i will never get hurt in/by a relationship; i will always do the hurting.
how do you know if you're just in a phase/maybe a depression or if you're actually falling out of love

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
one thing they don't tell you about starting hrt is how quickly it turns you into a fucking pervert
i thought about you last night
tossing and turning, i could not sleep. so i imagined you.
i imagined you coming home from europe, and asking to see me one on one at your apartment, under the guise of listening to the cds i burned for you, together.
(what i don't know is that you talked to my partner before arranging this, to get the all clear. in this fantasy you get it.)
i show up to your apartment on a friday night, dusted with snow. you let me inside and i welcome the reprieve from the bitter winter cold. you take my coat, my favourite album already playing. you give me a long, unusually tight hug and kiss the top of my damp-from-snow hair. you're wearing a crocheted vest, skin peeking through. you're warm. you tell me what you think about the album. you ask me what it means to me. you ask me to dance and i thrash around to my favourite songs. the album ends and i collapse on the floor, grinning from ear to ear as you switch the disc.
you ask to see my new chest. i take off my shirt for you and you admire the new, smooth, flatness. you ask if you can touch me and my heart ripples with butterflies. i say yes, unsure, but it feels so good when you lay your warm hands over my torso. you wrap your arms around my waist and pull me in and before i know what's happening you're kissing me and i can't help but kiss you back and it feels like finally but also what the fuck is going on and i pull away. and you explain.
you explain that you talked to my partner, and you settled on an agreement. and then you say the words i've been dying to hear. "i want to fuck you so bad."
i feel a sense of urgency, but the next kiss you pull me into is so slow and deep and i remember we have so much time. i help you unbutton your vest and without even considering shame i plant kisses all over your bare skin. we drop to our underwear and slow dance around the apartment, all softness in the dim light. i feel you get hard against me; i press into you harder.
you pick me up and carry me, with some awkwardness and laughter, up to what you've called your "princess bed." you try to lay me back but i'm grabbing you and rolling you underneath me and you laugh again up into my face. i'm kissing you all over, feeling your hard on straining under me. i kiss my way down your body, and you sigh with ecstasy as i press my mouth to the fabric covering your dick. suddenly in a rush, you tear your underwear off, whispering, "please, please," and i devour your cock in my mouth. you moan and squirm in pleasure, and my name sounds delicious on your lips. you cum quickly, in my mouth. i savour the unique taste. you try to apologize but i stop you. "that's exactly what i wanted."
it's your turn to pin me down. i'm soaking wet and my dick is desperate for attention. which you attend to immediately. i'm writhing beneath you but not quite getting to the edge. you've gotten hard again and i ask you how you want me.
you take me each and every way, my moans of pleasure reverberating off your apartment's brick walls. we cum at the same time; me on top of you, you inside of me.
i fall asleep, sweaty and sticky, with you curled around me. i wake up feeling the most rested i've ever felt, until you take me again and again.
couldn't sleep last night so i imagined scenarios about him in my head until i eventually passed out
I am uniquely wired to love the things that ruin me.
I am uniquely wired to ruin the things that love me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
my embarrassing secret fantasy is that he comes home from his europe trip, makes plans to see me right away so that he can tell me how bad he missed me and how he realized he has feelings for me that he wants to explore
finally had therapy last night and got to talk about my New Gay Man Feelings and i was telling my therapist about my crush and he asked if it was a crush or just infatuation, and i said infatuation because i understood the differentiation he was trying to make, but i thought to myself, aren't those the same thing?
every time i've had a crush on someone it's been 100% infatuation. i didn't have a crush on my fiancee before we got together, i was falling in love the whole time. but every other crush i've had has been this one-sided infatuation, some kind of humiliation ritual where i lust after someone i can't have (for any number of reasons) and i play with them like a doll in my head, shaping their character into the perfect other for me.
when i have a crush it means the feelings aren't real. it's not about that person. i'm always just projecting something or other onto my "crush", to satisfy some feeling in me that i can't place, and sometimes i mistake it for falling in love.
but now i know what falling in love, being in love, truly loving someone feels like. and my crush is not that. it's more of a sick obsession, turning scenarios over and over in my mind, making up a fantasy. it's all fantasy. of course in my head it's perfect, so that's where i want to live.
it's easy to fall back on my fantasy when things aren't going well with my partner. and this isn't new. when things are hard i want to escape, so i run to my fantasy land where i can choose from a slew of characters to imagine a perfect, argument-free life with. and maybe that's horrible but it's kinda the only way i know how to cope.
i like having a crush. i like the feeling of chasing something i know i'll never get. it's some kind of sick addiction, seeking out the feeling of wanting and yearning with no resolution.
maybe i'm insane.