Bella Belgica

Mon Amour,

can't you see yet behind the unvisable wall

can you taste the garlic surrounding the village 

and the sulphur in your nascal cavity's

Wake up, the beast has taken the beauty again for a little  spin

You never drove beyond this point where you realise the façade was crumbling

 I had built the fantasy , but you chose to live in it

You get off on my borderline rollercoaster

Shame on you for ignoring my beast

i am to remain a sexy goof

but never my inevitable Pompei rain of fire 

Would Ken stay if perfect Barbie went apeshit once in a while, like your price does

Or would he go with you sticking your faggot ass pink flamingo heads in the sand, hiding out

See me in a whole, love me in my whole    

And not for the fantasy

  I chose we are to be white swans from now on out

we are not to leave the other alone and love uncondittionally 

Until we both leave this earth

And I start the real one after

 Au Revoir Mon Amour.

you know rose

you know her angelic smile and ashbrown eyes

you know Roses honey glazed skin inside her peppermint shorts

you know her teachter's wife , her shoe-size and number plate 

Do you know Rose straps her Daddy's black beltloop around 

her neck and bronzed feet, wishing to be paddled

The harder

The Tighter

The Agony 

The serender 

I know Rose,

Do you ? 

                      My New Lyrical POetry is coming soon 

My heart is a dangerous placebo

diamonds on the rims

white oleander sipping out

I’m sorry Father,

for I have sinned

I needed it, I graved it

I don’t want me no more

can you give it away

can you donate my soul

Father,

i know we we’re all born to die

but were we all born to live

don’t give me no more answers

give me my solution

I could fill a wall with my victims

a sad serial killer trophy wall

They call me deadly,

deadly to love

I’m like Scarlett O’Hara,

playing any role that will make you fall in love with me

and make that love want to throw yourself off a bridge

My victimwall is large

but still I rest lonely

and graving desire

no satisfaction

Forgive me Father

for I have sinned

Will I stay like this forever

tell me no lies

leave

stay

I don’t care

but cure my mind

cure my heart and soul

I wasn’t ment to be this girl

I was born a good girl

I was Norma Jean

Most of the same crazies look it or act like it

I am Marilyn Monroe

I could win oscars

playing constantly the role of my life

Nothing seen nor said

maybe they choose blindness

for those who survive

Give me what I want and grave

or you’ll see my Black Widow transformation

I’m my own murder weapon

so run baby run

now gone baby gone

Give me my Marlboro’s and cheap white wine

let’s party with the old daddy’s

Can you give me my salvation or unconditional love, daddy dearest

You see my mental scars

but can’t resist my Virgin Suicide role

Forgive me Father,

for I have sinned.

                                                          By Bella Belgica

I apologize for not being your girl next door

  It is not enough, you are not enough

I wished you were but I was wrong

  At first you liked my crazy, my wild streak

But tries to calm me down when it comes out to play

We are no match

I am a cheetah, you are a pet rabbit

Cheetah’s like me are not ment to be caged or tamed

My animal is a sleep no more

  But this is me, not you

However cliché this sounds

You are the man that women wish for

But not for this one

  You remain my annoying guest that overstayed his welcome

That I can’t seem to shake or leave on his own

  Your touch makes my skin crawl

your hands feel innapropriate ,

as of a smelly stranger that stands just a little to close

My mouth tries to vomit when we kiss

  Somewhere there was a part of me that cared, that has past

Now I am allergic to you and your kidness

  Wound’t you just die so I can skip this part

I don’t wanna see those puppy eyes bleeding

There’s only disgust left , so please

Don’t make me explain why

  No we can’t be friends

You know i’ll just pitty-fuck you out of guilt

Then the rabbit gets hope again

Not realizing the cheetah only fucks or kills his kind

So let’s not

  Here’s your last kiss I say

And whisper ”remember me better than I am”

  He will live happily ever after with his girl next door

And I will be jealous.

                                                          By Bella Belgica

Cry baby cry

I wanna see you week as a lamb

not the macho man I know and fell for

As your Belle, please Beast

let yourself feel small and useless

cry for me honey

I wanna see those big boy tears

rolling down your mouth

tell me Dear

how does sorrow taste like

Can you make yourself happy again

or do you need a shot or six to go numb

Cry baby cry

let yourself go

go deep

until the box of kleenex runs out

cry yourself to sleep

wake up on a wet pillow

and take another shot

Get high

 Feel low

Think for your Belle

that you’re an unlovable ugly duckling

destined to remain a lone rider

Cry baby cry

because no one ever will

Your death will go unnoticed

Say who is in this grave marked John Doe

people will say

No funeral for John Doe

No memories of John Doe

John who

Cry my Beast cry

for me

Show me that red nose and puffy skin

Let your tears roll down your cheeks and fall down your neck

Let me hear you howling out of powerlessness

Show me some emotion

Before I marry a psychopath

that loves to be the cause

of the pain bursting out my bambi blue eyes

So cry damn you cry.

                                                 By Bella Belgica

You died a million times

a thousand diffrent ways,

I found to torture you 

I am the Picasso of your dead

  The Indian doctor said sometimes bad things happen to good people

I say

It is bad people that happen to good people

  Sweet destroyer

that’s who is talking now

Let me choose your fitting ending

Oh wait, we should play a game

a hunting game, like a chase

just to make it more fun

and to prolongate our fun times together 

I am smiling already,

why aren’t you

  The circle of evil

an infectious disease

I can fight you, so I will not join you

Twice I almost did

  You thought you were my destroyer 

My tears were your confirmation 

It satisfied your hunger

  You tried and failed

I will succeed.

Graduate with honors

And finally be restored.

Smiling.

                                                 By Bella Belgica

My life felt like a Greek myth

your love was my curse

doomed by the Gods

from the first sniff of your perfume

we we're the god's puppets

  Each others property

bringing each other euphoria and grieve

  Doomed and cursed,

by the puppetgod Cupid

Fuck Cupid

This was his poison

It made me cry tears of blood

but oh my beautiful monster

I am grateful

  My mind that you used as a tool

My body that you graved 

it was yours

it was your personal property

  My soul was my sacrifice 

my sin

my heaven and hell

I surrendered

  we we're doomed

we we're cursed

  None of us would walk away

none of us two would survive

no God would allow it

  no together

no apart

no me without you

  excited and afraid

no flowers no blue sky

exctacy before torture

  Like a Greek tragedy,

we were doomed

we were cursed

  I was killing you 

so were you

we would not survive together nor apart

Our love was our end 

                                         By Bella Belgica