this awful energy

“oh.” kai breathes, and yeah, that makes a lot more sense then. whilst theo settles herself, kai is unlocking his phone and opening the ‘clock’ app. he sets the time to three minutes, but he doesn’t turn it on just yet, instead waiting until his fiancée has finished and set the pregnancy test to the side. he has a feeling these are going to be a few of the longest minutes of his life, and he’s already beginning to fidget, uncomfortably restless and wanting to know right now. his phone is being placed down on the edge of the sink, and he moves away from it, instead going to her so he can wrap an arm about her waist and draw her into his chest. he figures if he’s feeling some other level of frazzled, then theo must be even more so, and all he ever wants is to make it better for her. to make her comfortable, and happy, and safe. leaning down, he presses his lips lightly against the corner of her mouth, and the palm of his left hand is pressing to the small of her back, easing up over the curve of her spine. “okay?”

kai perches himself on the edge of the sink, eyes never leaving theo as she lets go of his hand and goes about unwrapping the test. his heart is beating really hard and really fast now, and he isn’t sure what to do with all the pent-up energy currently buzzing about inside of him. it takes a lot to top himself standing and pacing back and forth, but he imagines his erratic movements would benefit her even less than they would him. at her behest, he’s pulling his mobile from the pocket of his jeans, not really having had time tonight to change into anything else after arriving home from work. he’d been too busy with rolly, and now he’s so wrapped up in this, it doesn’t even matter. “yeah, i’ve got it. do you want me to message izzy? or?” he’s confused as to the reason she needs it, though he can’t imagine she’ll want to message her before they actually confirm that this is really happening. 

she’s right. kai knows she is, and he knows that he might be getting ahead of himself with this, but it’s too difficult for him to not get incredibly excited at even the possibility of this being a reality. they’d decided ages ago to stop the birth control, to let whatever may happen, happy, and while it had taken a while, he finds himself stunned by the idea of it actually happening. there’s a little nod, just the slightest dip to his chin, and it’s too difficult for him to tear his gaze away from her’s for even a second. his hand moves from where it’s still resting on her hip to grip her hand now instead, fingers gently intertwining, and his heart leaping into his throat. it sticks there, lodging itself in firm, and making it hard for him to swallow. “yeah, i’ll come with you. yeah.” there’s a little waver to his voice, and then kai is gently tugging theo towards the bathroom with him, needing to know as soon a they possibly can. false positives don’t happen, right? only false negatives? he doesn’t remember. he’d read it somewhere once, in the middle of the night, probably by accident when he was scrolling through his twitter feed or googling baby names or whatnot else. he can’t imagine what else it could be. 

“them.” kai repeats, and their eyes are meeting, and there’s a smile in his, and soon, it’s being joined by one on his lips as well. it’s impossible for him to keep at at bay, and they should probably find out for sure before he starts crying, but he can’t help it. he’s so excited! and it’s so beautiful! and just the idea of it makes him tingle from the top of his head to the tips of his toes! “i think we did it, my dove. i think – i think we did. remember how you’ve been a little ill, and a little tired? remember that?” of course theo remembers it, kai probably doesn’t have to point that out at all, but he can’t help how he does regardless of that. he can’t help the awe he feels, and the way his mind is connecting the dots in a way that the vast majority of the time he’d have to be helped with. maybe he just wants it too much. maybe that’s what it is. they hadn’t really been trying necessarily – not in any organised, serious context – but of course he’s had those feelings, and he’s had those urges, and he’s always shared them with her. always.

kai has just put rolly down to bed and gotten him soundly asleep, and his heart is all fuzzy and full as he makes his way back to his dove with a little bounce in his step. the hesitation in the doorway is for how she’s just standing there, looking at herself in a way that he knows all too well, and worry creases his brow as she glances at him. there’s nothing but love in how pale blues sweep down over her form, from the bunch of his band tee beneath her breasts, to the visible outline of her rib cage, to the slight bump that’s sure enough visible there. it’s not explicitly something he’s noticed before, at least not in a conscious way, but now that his attention has been actively brought to it – well. his mind only goes to one place. within moments, kai has closed the distance between himself and his fiancée, and his arm, is going around her from behind, the palm of his hand gently resting on her hip. he dare not touch her tummy – not until he talks to her and tells her what he’s thinking. he knows how triggered this has probably made her. “dove,” he begins, eyes all bright and sparkly as he tucks a kiss against her shoulder, “i think we made them.”