be quiet and drive (far away)

The remark was meant to be more intimidating that it came out, which Landon realized when Sonny took it as a playful, maybe even flirty one. He really didn't need this guy coming in here wasting his time and stealing his attention from serious patrons, but even he couldn't completely hide the smallest hint of a smile that tugged at the upper corner of his lip. Damn it. Or the light flush that returned to his cheeks. He really should just go hide now until this guy was out of his hair. That would have been the smart, logical thing to do. Landon rolled his eyes playfully and searched for a response. Back before everything changed, when his mom was still around, he would have eaten something like that up. Especially from someone as stunning as Sonny. But that wasn't him anymore. He didn't have the capacity to take on anything that might crumble the last remaining pieces of his heart. It scared the hell out of him. Finally, he managed a soft, almost shy, "Not what I was saying." There. Simple and succinct. He'd totally get the picture, right?

He felt Sonny had caught him digging, by trying to figure out his surname name. It was just one of those things he liked to know about people - to put a full name to a face. Sure. That's what he told himself, at least. He liked getting to know the patrons and asking about their life; showing interest. There were many, especially some of the older ones that came in specifically as their social hour. He'd heard so many stories about grandchildren and gossip he could write an entire book about it alone. And then there were the ones that were always trying to set him up with their nephew or grandson or son - and occasionally, daughter. He politely declined each time, figuring it wasn't really worth it to divulge his sexuality when he wasn't going to take them on the offer, but some of them were pretty relentless. Sonny Jeong. It had a nice ring to it, and a name he wouldn't soon forget. Even if he really should. "Good to know. So if I ever see a hold come in for you or something, I can judge what you're reading. Especially if it's something off the wall again." That covered his tracks, absolutely. Sonny definitely wouldn't hone in on it at all. And since he didn't ask, Landon decided to leave his surname off the table for now. He didn't mind staying a little mysterious.

The chuckles and laughs from him though were quite nice to Landon's ears; much lovelier than he wanted to let on or sit there and think about. They were also such a surprise, considering his dress. Once again, it wasn't so much in a judgmental way, he just hadn't expected him to be so delightful and lighthearted. Not while dressed in all black and dark eyeliner. Since Sonny hadn't made much presence at the library that he'd noticed, Landon decided to quiz him a little by asking which of the Percy Jackson series was his favorite. The answer absolutely gave away what Landon had assumed - he definitely had not read all of them. He didn't know anyone in their right mind that considered the first the best in the series. In fact, it was usually one of the least favorites. Instead of bringing it up though, he tucked it away for now, until he might be given reason to call Sonny out. After all, the guy wasn't rude or annoying... not really. His humor was surprisingly welcome. But Landon took his job a little too seriously and didn't have time to spend all day recommended things he knew would never actually be read.

Landon wasn't sure why he felt compelled to mention the smut in some books, but considering there were many teenagers that hovered in the young adult section, it was just a habit of warning. He of course wouldn't control what someone else read, but he'd also had a few unruly parents come in disgruntled about their teens reading about faerie lore and love. Sonny, he assumed, was around the same age as he, and could handle it, but it just kind of slipped out before he caught himself. That only fueled the fire burning in his fucking cheeks. Landon glanced away for a moment, pretending to survey more titles on the shelves, though really he was trying to avoid facing Sonny when he was blushing so much. But then he caught dark brown eyes - they were alluring and big and sucked him right in. Landon swallowed and cleared his throat, then nodded - very much not the professional librarian he was supposed to be. "Yes. Smut. I... sorry. I am just used to giving that warning. Some parents aren't too keen on the faerie stuff when it gets like that. Or really any of these books, I guess."

Blue eyes held his gaze before dipping to his mouth. He blamed Sonny for biting on his lip like that - obviously he was trying not to laugh at him, but it stole his attention. He thought that maybe bringing up someone else to help could give him a chance to catch his breath; to let his flushed face calm down or something. Or think straight. But no, Sonny didn't take the bait. Was this guy just here to yank his chain? Was this some kind of dare, or something? He wondered. "She is." He chimed in. "Betty is incredibly knowledgeable. I've learned a lot from her if you want to go talk—" but Landon paused his yammering as it was confessed that Sonny wanted something from him. Or at least, help from him. So maybe they were finally getting down to whatever business he'd shown up for. After all, Landon was skeptical since that upside down pregnancy book that he actually had any interest in reading or learning. He was becoming a little frustrated, having wasted a good half hour or so helping one patron, but he'd allow him to finish his spiel. Despite growing annoyed now, Landon hated that Sonny still had his full attention, as his gaze watched long fingers fly through dark, silky hair and he wondered how soft it was.

Being right was something Landon liked to hear, so his interest was still on high. However, as Sonny launched into his real intention, his stomach began to drop. It wasn't that he hated the idea of doing any of that with him. Honestly, it sounded nice. Sure he had friends he hung out with occasionally, but when it came to someone he was attracted to, he usually tried to distance himself because it wasn't worth the heartbreak. One or both of them would leave or get hurt and he just didn't have the emotional stability for it. He'd already lost the most important person in his life. He couldn't put his heart out there only to have it ripped away again. "Oh. Well I um - I'm sure you're not clueless. Everyone here is really welcoming, and I am sure there are people that know a lot more about it here than me. I only moved here five years ago, so I'm probably not your best bet either." He didn't want to be rude and seem like he was blowing him off for no reason, but what was he supposed to say? 'I find you attractive and kind of quirky adorable and funny but I can't let myself be around that because I might fall for you, so sorry you have to stay away instead?' Of course not. He'd sound ridiculous. So instead he kept that inside.

Noticing there was a large line building up at the reference desk for questions, Landon used that as his excuse to escape. It saddened him a little as he took one last glance at the guy; captivated by those eyes of his and those lips and... "I'm sorry, I have to go help them but uh, it was nice meeting you, Sonny. Maybe I'll see you around." He offered a firm nod, his eyes lingering a little longer before making his way back to the desk to help out. He was afraid to turn back, because it might make it that much harder for him to turn him down again if there was evident disappointment.

"Hollander, look, I'm not going to tell anyone."

He had been lounging in pajamas at the start of this conversation and now hustled off the couch to put on outside clothes before Sonny made it there. Nathan had been standing in the driving waiting for Sonny to pull up for what felt like way too long by the time he finally showed.

“What took you so long, you get lost or something? The app has a map,” he said, rather than offering a greeting. He climbed into the passenger seat, picking up the bag of takeout that was there. “Are these my fries?” Nathan buckled up as he peered into the bag. “Where the hell’s my burger, dude?”  

“i didn’t get lost, okay? i took the wrong turn… twice.” he admitted, unable to stop himself from laughing. “yeah dude, those are your fries. i only grabbed like, three by the way.” more like ten. or twenty. driving away, he accidentally drives past a speed bump he didn’t even see a bit too quickly up to the point where it shakes the car more violently than he’d like. “yikes, my bad. also, i ate the burger. i couldn’t help myself.” he holds onto this lie for not even a full minute, before reaching over to the glove compartment to reveal his wrapped, untouched burger. along with five dumpling shaped stress balls, a jetblack gel eyeliner pencil from r.e.m beauty ( which was probably expired at this point ), black nailpolish from essie, a few cds, an ipod nano and unpaid parking tickets from like, 2023. “i’m kidding, i wouldn’t eat your burger man, because i’m a vegetarian. if i wasn’t though, i would’ve taken a bite for sure.” clearly, sonny’s undying love for animals and lack of meat consumption saved nathan’s burger. “shit, i forgot to mark delivery as complete.” he states, looking at his phone while driving. “it’s asking for a picture… say marijuana!” with a hand still on the steering wheel, he snaps a picture of the other with the bag, uploads it and marks the delivery as complete, instantly getting another delivery request from mcdonald’s and accepting it, the gps starting the route, all while he’s still driving. “hey, did you bring the lighter?”

Landon wanted to explain himself, but he didn't think it would do much good. Maybe it would be better, actually, to entice Sonny to hate him. Then he wouldn't have to worry about fighting this tension and attraction he felt when they'd met, and even now. He could feel it buzzing in the air, like a warning sign to stay the fuck away. Instead of listening though, Landon joined him at the bar and attempted to strike up conversation as if nothing had happened between them at all. The smart thing to do would be to avoid, or push him away, but as he watched him with fondness, Landon was struggling to fight those instincts. He could and would blame it on the alcohol, even if deep down inside he knew it wasn't the culprit. Blue hues focused on Sonny's startling brown ones when they finally met, and he tried to tear his gaze away, but it only felt like he was being drawn in closer. "That's cool. I can't draw to save my life." Landon replied, as he once again glanced down at the napkins, appreciating the creativity of them. He was trying to keep the conversation light and not focus on the way he'd blown him off before, but even if the glassiness in his eyes hinted of his own tipsiness, Landon could sense that Sonny wasn't as open and carefree as he'd been the first time. He hated that, especially knowing it was his fault, and when Sonny pocketed the sharpie there was a dip in his stomach, fearful that he was about to leave. As much as he should go and Landon should want that too, he didn't. He was holding his breath, something Landon hadn't realized in his haze until it finally escaped when Sonny continued acknowledging him.

The bold response was warranted - deserved - and Landon's lips parted to answer before tightening into a thin line. Some part of him wanted to say yes, that he did have a change of heart. Or no, that he didn't because he'd wanted him there to begin with. The realist inside of him though told Landon to shut the fuck up and keep it all buried down deep. He struggled, searching for what to say, even though Sonny did manage to make him laugh softly when he pointed out that it was an open bar and he could get himself drinks as he pleased. That was true; it wasn't as if Landon was paying for this. He considered it an olive branch of sorts, for being kind of an asshole before. He didn't expect Sonny to give in so easily, if at all, but it brought a smile to his face when he did - at least if he was given Landon's name. "It's Landon. Just Landon. You know, like Madonna?" He teased, referencing their conversation from before. But Landon's smile softened, and he hazily met his eyes again before more softly admitting defeat. "Beckett. Landon Beckett." Before Sonny could protest, Landon turned toward the barkeeper and requested another drink, this time for Sonny. After placing the order he twisted back toward the beautiful raven-haired boy with a small smile, and tried to, in some way, explain his actions. "It's... complicated," Landon offered, still unsure exactly how deep to delve into all of these feelings he was battling.

"I'm sorry for how I was at the library. I swear I'm not usually an asshole. I just..." Landon sighed, his eyes casting down to the bar counter, finding a random scratch to focus on. Anything but those big, pretty, dark eyes that felt like they were sucking the soul out of him. Or about to make him take back everything. "I don't really do relationships. It's something I kind of swore off, and I just didn't want to lead you on. I guess I thought not saying no was gentler than being straight up, and that was wrong of me. I just - I can't do it. That stuff. It's hard to explain, but it's a rule I have for myself." Landon ran a hand through his curls, making them a little wilder than they already were, but just in time for their drinks to arrive, which would hopefully put him more at ease. Like an instant injection, a few sips in and he was feeling freeing again - maybe a little too much. Was this his seventh now? Maybe. He had no idea. But it was making his resistance to Sonny even more difficult, and also messing with his filter. "But then you had to come waltzing in!" His voice was a higher lilt, tipsy and playfully accusatory, and he laughed bitterly. "With your pretty eyes and silky hair and perfect fucking smile and messed it alllllllll up." He wasn't mad - not really. Not at at Sonny, anyway. More so at himself, for not allowing himself to have the things he wanted. Or maybe the universe for making him feel undeserved of them. But he was trying to be smart and practical. "Like just because you're charming and funny and attractive I should just bend my rules for you. And I can't. I'm sorry, it's just... not gonna happen." It couldn't.

the one time he actually did, of course, it came back to bite him in the ass, and well, maybe it was for the better. maybe this is how things are meant to be, how they should unfold. yet, he was sitting next to the same guy he had wanted to avoid, and he couldn’t find it in himself to tell him to leave him alone. correction – he didn’t want to tell him to leave him alone, even though he knew he should. he smelled amazing, he looked even better, and sonny is reminded of why he had been so physically attracted to him since the moment he saw him. unfortunately, he’s also painfully reminded of their previous interaction, and there’s a hidden fear that something similar might happen. that he might talk to him out of boredom, get his hopes up, just to tell him he couldn’t be less interested. or worse, disregard the situation completely and tell him maybe he’ll see him around. landon’s intentions, whatever the hell they were, deeply confused sonny. on one hand, he was drunk and giddy to interact with him, completely captivated by him and embarrassingly enough, more than willing to brush their previous interaction off his shoulder, but on the other hand, he didn’t understand what his end game here was. he had so many questions, his mind running at a mile a minute, and the alcohol being consumed only seemed to make his thoughts even sloppier. maybe he shouldn’t give a damn and just go with the flow, which is how he usually is with things anyway. why did he care so much about this guy's opinion? why was he so pressed? why couldn’t he look away from those hypnotizing eyes of his? 

it takes everything he has in him, it really does, but he tears his gaze away, grabs what remains of his drink and downs the last of it, setting the empty cup on the bar counter and exhaling. he didn’t need to drink more, but something told him he would need another with this interaction. even his name rolled off the tongue so easily. landon beckett – what a ridiculously nice name. “why does that sound sophisticated enough to be a character in the enola holmes movies?” he was mostly joking, but the name was so prim and proper, that sonny didn’t feel he was too far off. the thought made him chuckle even though it wasn’t really that funny, but he’s blaming the martini’s. if he wasn’t already a level above tipsy, he would be irritated over how he can’t seem to find a single flaw in this dumb, gorgeous boy. even his stupid name was catchy. sonny can’t lie, he’s surprised the moment he begins to explain himself, not expecting it at all. he figured he would sweep what happened under the rug and never once bring it up. he’s not expecting any kind of explanation at all, let alone an apology of any kind. this, admittedly, finally makes him turn back to look his way. sonny doesn’t say anything, letting him say what he needed to say, but by the time he’s done explaining, he’s nodding his head. “ahh.” is his original response, pursing his lips and trying to take it all in, as much as his hazy brain could take right now, anyway. 

“so then it’s just the typical southern california i-don’t-do-relationships quip. i mean, it’s cali. i’d say a lot of people here have the same mindset, so you’re not alone.” when the words leave his lips, he realizes they sound a bit harsher than he intended, like he was putting landon in some kind of labeled box, and he didn’t want to do that, especially since he was being honest with him. “sorry. that was kind of harsh. i guess what i’m trying to say is i don’t know what kind of shit you’ve been through, who hurt you in the past, up to the point where you have these rules for yourself, but i mean,” he pauses to shrug, “it’s not like i was expecting us to pull a joel and ingrid and get married, have this huge ceremony or anything – which is like, super adorable of them, but that’s not the point. when i…” he trails off, trying to find the correct words, “when i asked you out, it’s because i wanted to get to know you. it doesn’t mean that we need to ride off into the sunset holding hands and swear by each other or anything. i just think you’re pretty and interesting and i just wanted to know more. we don’t have to make it deeper than that if you don’t want to.” and that was the straight up truth. even if sonny does crave a deeper connection, a real relationship and one day, to actually have something meaningful and monogamous, maybe even a ceremony as nice as the one joel and ingrid were having, he understood where landon was coming from. he didn’t know his reasoning behind it, but he got it. 

there’s a part of him, unfortunately, that can’t help but feel like landon is saying this because of sonny’s appearance, his style and aura in general. he knew he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. it could be a lot, his style wasn’t for everyone, and really, he doesn’t think landon and him could be more opposite. landon worked at a damn library, for crying out loud. he was literally wearing something beige and proper, practically looking like an angel, and sonny looked like he could be an extra in a my chemical romance music video. he literally tattooed people and served drinks, meanwhile landon liked reading books. sonny can’t remember the last time he sat down and read a book willingly. it was usually back in his school days. he figures this is landon’s nicer way of letting him down, with the excuse that he didn’t do relationships because it was easy, it was believable and real. the idea made him drink alongside him, until he was feeling even looser than before. at this point, he’s lost count of how many drinks he’s had, but he knew it was more than five for sure. he definitely had to call an uber when he was ready to leave because there was no way he was driving home. landon’s sudden accusation had him raising a brow, not sure where he was going with his speech, and he was evidently drunk, but really, so was he. he doesn’t go where sonny assumed he was going, which causes him to let out a drunken laugh. was he imagining this? were they both just really drunk and delusional? maybe, but him admitting this is making sonny grin. “you know, i kindaaaaa thought that you didn’t really like me like that. like,” he hiccups, the alcohol clearly getting to him, “you thought i was a weird looking alt guy. or too much, but now i have pretty eyes and silky hair and a perfect fucking smileeeee?” he draws out the last word, giggling like some kind of school girl who was being acknowledged by her crush for the first time. “i ammm charming and funny and attractive though.” now, he leans his elbow against the bar counter and rests his chin on it, grinning at him dreamily and locking eyes with him. for a moment, his gaze lingers to his lips, before meeting his eyes again. this time, he leans in closer, slightly shortening the distance between them, and in a tone lower than normal, one that basically mocks innocence but screams flirty and daring, he asks simply, “what’s not gonna happen?”

"You're a terrible liar, though I guess I'll let it slip this time. If I catch you reading books upside down again though I'm going to know you're just trying to waste my time and everyone else's here." Why he would do that, Landon had no idea. He couldn't imagine this guy not having anything better to do with his time. Yes, he stuck out like a sore thumb, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Not when he was naturally attractive enough to stop traffic in the street. Even with the eyeliner and black nails and emo rat style he had going on. In fact, it suited him - made him feel almost... dangerous in a sense. Which was another reason added to the list of many already accumulating in Landon's head as to why he needed to stay clear. He did ask for assistance in the fantasy section though, so that was something professional Landon could focus on before distracting himself with his other duties. As he yammered on about the labels and stickers, he felt like his words were going in one ear and out the other. That, or this patron was just a superb listener. He didn't have hope for that though.

It didn't help that he felt his eyes on him the entire time, unless that was just what Landon subconsciously wanted to happen. He quickly snuffed that idea away though, because that would only complicate things further. He couldn't want those things - he wasn't equipped to deal with them. Maybe once he found a few books to his liking he would check them out, leave, and Landon wouldn't have to think twice about the confusing, super hot stranger that had a smile that could melt even the coldest heart. It got him riled up a little, to the point that the polite, almost boring question he asked ended up sounding like the worst pick up line in history. He hoped maybe it would go unnoticed, but, no, apparently not. The immediate retort from the brunette made the flush in Landon's cheeks deepen, though he couldn't exactly be mad at him for the response. It did sound like he was hitting on him. But his answer - was he flirting back? Landon's had come off unintentionally, but the tone in his voice seemed very, very intentional. Landon swallowed hard, trying to push away any and all thoughts out of his head except for work. Books. The library. The things he should be focused on.

Landon tried to keep it to small talk, so he hadn't expected a deep-dive into this guy's history. Well at least in regards to where he lived before and grew up. He didn't mind, really, it was just kind of funny; on the outside he didn't appear the type that would be so chatty or open. Then again, that was totally judging a book by its cover, which he of all people should have known better than to do. "Just Sonny. So are you like Madonna then? Or Prince? Just Sonny." He did like the name, even if it was such a contrast to his look. Landon was learning though, maybe a little, that it might suit his personality. "Well it's nice to meet you, Sonny. Since you've only been here a year, I guess you still have a lot to learn about the town. If you keep coming in then I suppose I'll see you around." Landon was relieved he hadn't needed to launch into his own pathetic background, and figured that after guiding him to the correct section and making it clear he needed to get back to work, that would be that. He'd even turned away to return to the desk, but stopped in his tracks at the question. Honestly, he didn't have that much work to do. And part of his job was to help patrons with anything they wanted; including recommendations. It was just the Sonny of it all. The vibe he was getting was hard to ignore, which always meant trouble, and Landon couldn't be bothered with that. One more assist though, and then he'd make up an excuse to get away.

"Oh, um - sure. What was your favorite of the Percy Jackson series? Out of curiosity." Landon ran through his mind and the shelves, searching for some fantasy series that might meet the mark. Since that particular one was aimed a little younger, he thought Young Adult leaning might be a good place to start. Blue eyes flitted to Sonny's nails as he moved in closer, then his dark eyes. Their gazes locked for a moment, but Landon quickly cleared his throat and tried to move on, hoping he didn't notice the pink return to his cheeks as he blinked away. "A Court of Thorns and Roses or Throne of Glass are very popular ones. They are by the same author. Just be aware that the first one has a lot of um..." Fuck, his face was on fire now. "Sexual situations." He offered. "Or The Cruel Prince series is another one people seem to really enjoy. I guess it depends on how dark you are interested in. Those are mostly fae-related, so I don't know if that is your thing or not. If you want more like supernatural; werewolves and such, Betty over there at the desk might be more helpful. She's much more into those than I am."

when it came to women, he doesn’t think he’s ever come across one that disliked him, at least openly. they felt comfortable around him, but then again, sonny felt like that was a recurring theme with women and gay men, so it wasn’t exactly surprising. he figured he had told landon what his deal was, without saying the words at all. he doubts any straight man would view all women as favorite cousins or sisters. at landon's following words, the raven haired male has to hold back a smirk. “if you catch me?” sonny asks, raising a thick brow, before nodding his head, his dark eyes gazing into his crystal hues. “so then does that mean that you would be actively looking for me?” he had a feeling that wasn’t what landon meant, but he couldn’t help but throw the bait and see what the other would say. sonny wanted to make him blush again, fluster him a bit because he looked so, so damn attractive with reddened cheeks, sonny only wanted more. for a moment, he even wondered what landon was like outside of these walls. what he did in his free time, his hobbies, his interests, his hopes and dreams, his favorite food and stuff he hated enough to make him gag, literally everything. sonny was so intrigued by him, he wanted to get to know him, the good and the bad. 

for the first time, the idea of flirting and flirting for a quick fuck seemed unappealing. it was usually how his encounters went down. meaningless flirting followed by an even more meaningless hook up, but truthfully, he'd never met someone who held his interest this way, especially in a setting like this. he was a bartender after all. a lot of the people he's met were from the club, or even other parties he attended. this felt a lot more real. there wasn't any loud music, no flashing lights or people dancing impossibly close, no recreational drug use right around the corner. he didn't have to lean into the other's ear so he could hear him through the loud speakers, and he certainly didn't have to nod his head and pretend he heard what he said despite not hearing shit. they were actually… present. no blasting tunes, no distractions, just a raw conversation. sonny enjoyed it. he wondered if landon would be interested in hanging out outside of his job and talk more. he felt like if he tried hard enough, maybe he'd peak landon's interest up to the point where he was willing to at least get a coffee with him. sonny isn't really cocky, but he feels he's social enough up to the point where that might sound appealing to the other. conversations have always flown naturally for him, even with people who had rather difficult and more closed off personalities. it was easy for him to make friends anywhere he went.

sonny chuckled softly at his response, licking his lips and shaking his head. he could easily dive into the teasing, the back and forth. if anything, that fueled him. “no, not quite. i just meant sonny isn’t a nickname or abbreviation for anything, it’s just sonny. my surname is jeong, if that’s what you were curious about.” he was tempted to ask him what his was, continue making conversation when he ( probably ) had to get back to work, but the more landon keeps talking, the easier it feels to get to the point he really wanted to get to, the entire reason why he kept showing up here and hiding behind a book like a damn idiot, which was building up the courage to actually talk to this guy. little did landon know, he had beat him to it. for now however, he would budge, though admittedly, the question about what his favorite book from the percy jackson series is caught him off guard, though he should have expected that. “the first one.” which, he can’t for the life of him remember the name of. something about thunder? the ocean? he could only hope he didn’t pry any further, because then he might actually realize he never read any of the books and was full of shit. he was so lost in that soft gaze of his, that sonny had to force himself out of whatever trance this man had him under to really grasp what he was saying. he tries to resist, but sonny can’t help the shit eating smirk that makes it’s way onto his lips when he catches the way he blushes at the words sexual situations. he doesn’t think he could get any more attractive, but somehow, landon manages to prove him wrong.

he chews on his bottom lip so hard, he’s surprised he didn’t draw blood. “you mean smut?” admittedly, he’s never really read smut, or read much at all unless it was school related, but he was fully aware of that erotica genre when it came to books. he had way too many female friends, especially back in south korea, who adored that type of genre. the word fae-related deeply confused him though. maybe he meant fated? he would have to google what fae-related even meant later, but he assumes it’s some kind of mythical creature. at the mention of betty, he finally circles back to what he’s been wanting to ask the other since the moment he saw him. “i’m sure betty is super knowledgeable, but i think there might be something else you can help me with. actually, i have a confession to make, and that is that you’re right.” he pauses for dramatic effect, running a hand past his jet black hair. “you’re so, so right when you said i have a lot to learn about this town. i actually realized the other day that i really don’t know anything about this place at all! totally lost, so clueless, and not in the cool, cher horowitz kind of way. more so in the damn, he’s kind of pathetic kind of way.” that wasn’t exactly true, but it also wasn’t a full on lie. he was lost when it came to some things here in caroll, but he was certainly fully aware of others as well. “i was thinking since i’ve only been here a year, and since i clearly don’t know much about the town, maybe we can go out sometime and you can tell me all about it, teach me all the ways, the history, enlighten me on some other color coded book stickers you guys have going on here, all the fun stuff. we can go get some coffee, or some food, or…” he trails off, shrugging a bit shyly, which is rare for sonny, “we can do whatever you want, really.” and he truly meant that. he knew it was forward, but his grandfather always told him that if you never try, you’ll never know, and despite all the insecurities his family has given him throughout the years, he can’t say the old man didn’t have wise sayings.

he nods slowly, not fully sure if he believed them completely. they looked like they had a lot on their mind, but then again, doesn't everyone? sonny wouldn't pry. if claudio ever wanted to tell him, he was more than welcome to vent. "a ten?" sonny questioned in mock disbelief, raising a dark brow, before he giggled as well. "see, a seven point five sounds more like it." he played along, before full on smiling at the other. "really?" maybe claude was just being nice, or maybe they really meant it, but either way, sonny appreciated the comment. his smile dies down a bit at their question, but he eventually shrugs in response. "i've been overthinking a lot of shit, claude. which isn't like me at all, but like... yeah. i'm pretty sure i'll be okay. especially after this espresso martini." he raises his glass, and takes another sip.

He was waiting his turn for another drink, and not trying to getting into the guy's business - the one that was at the bar and drawing on cocktail napkins, but he blamed his inebriation for his curiosity. Landon glanced at his outfit from behind, and although it wasn't exactly formal in the traditional regard, he liked it. He stood out, but in a good way. And then he recognized that silky black hair he'd wanted to touch, and his voice. Fuck. It was Sonny. He'd yet to see him since blowing off his idea to spend some time together, and thought maybe he was in the clear. After that, Landon had yet to see him return to the library, which at first made him a little relieved, but after a few days had passed he found himself wondering where he'd gone - if he'd come back. He found himself wanting to see him. Which was the whole reason he'd blown him off in the first place. That intrigue and desire. It was too dangerous. He couldn't get too attached or interested. Now though, he couldn't exactly get himself out of this unless he turned and walked away and didn't look back. However, maybe it was the alcohol making him feel a little braver and less rigid, or the fact that he kind of missed seeing him show at the library, but Landon carefully settled into the seat beside him and offered a soft smile.

"Thank you for not stabbing me. Are you going to draw all over my face with that sharpie instead? I'm sure I probably deserve it." Landon attempted to greet, his eyes a little soft, and definitely drunkenly glassy as they met Sonny's dark ones, lined in a beautifully messy manner. His gaze lingered longer than necessary, dipping to his soft looking lips before drifting to the napkins; the library one especially tugging at his heartstrings. Was that because of him? "These are pretty cool. I didn't know you drew," Landon tried, his voice soft and also kind of slurring a bit. He pointed toward the library mixed tape one. "Haven't seen you lately. Did you give up on pretending to read?" It was an effort at a lighthearted joke, one he thought Sonny might not buy. "Have you tried the espresso martinis? They're soooo good," he drawled, realizing a little tipsy giggle slipped out. "Want me to get you one?"

it really feels like the universe is mocking him, throwing him some kind of bait to see how he’ll react, teasing him in a way that feels borderline cruel. he’s face to face with the same guy who pretty much turned him down. actually, it was worse than that. sonny would have preferred to be turned down, given a flat out i’m not interested or even a simple no without any further explanation would have sufficed for him. the way he dismissed him and went to go help out at the front, practically blowing him off, oddly enough felt like a heavier form of rejection for sonny. even the excuse of him having only been here for five years irritated him, because was he really so unworthy of receiving a definite answer from him? did he just really not want to talk to him? or was he just straight up embarrassed of even associating himself with him? he thought about the interaction for days, even the maybe i’ll see you around, and it just further frustrated him because he wasn’t like that. he wasn’t one to really dwell on anything for too long or really overcomplicate situations, no matter how negative it might have been, but he couldn’t deny that what happened bothered him more than it should have, which is why he didn’t show up again. he was pretty sure landon didn’t want him there, and really, who was he to show up at his job like that? sonny is so lost in his gaze, he doesn’t even notice the slightest, most subtle trembling of his left hand, which instantly causes him to clear his throat and set the sharpie down, running a hand past his hair and looking elsewhere as a weak attempt to try and mask what he was feeling. it was the alcohol that was making this all so much more heightened than it had to be, he was sure of it.

landon’s actions confused sonny, even the unsober version of himself. was he here to poke fun at him? to avoid boredom? or did he just really want to rub in the fact that he looked amazing tonight? it was so fucking unfair. sonny doesn’t answer his first sentence, instead picking up the sharpie again and adding numbers to the cellphone he had been sketching, not wanting to give him any real attention. he wants to desperately ignore him, maybe even pull a quick one on him and tell him that maybe he’ll see him around, but that he has to go help somewhere, and walk away and leave him sitting there, but pathetically enough, he finds himself shrugging when landon mentions not knowing that he draws. “yeah, sometimes.” he doesn’t bother to give him a backstory and tell him he’s been drawing since he was five, up to the point where he’s made it an actual career, or that he has an entire art room in his apartment dedicated to just that, whether it’s actual paintings or even pottery and sculpting, or even a dumb mention of both his instagrams, one where he posts tattoos he’s done and the other where he posts paintings, pottery designs and even small sculptures and does smaller commissions. his next comment, however, comes when he’s adding the final digit to the cellphone. he puts the cap on the sharpie and places it inside a pocket of his striped dress shorts, now turning his attention back to him, even though he knows he shouldn’t. unknowingly, sonny’s eyes are about as glossy as his are. “i didn’t think you wanted me there to try.” he replies back bluntly, the drunk side of him taking control and his intrusive thoughts being released. “did you have a change of heart now?” he subconsciously licks his lips, giggling in return. it doesn’t fully hit him, just how tipsy he really is, until he has to have a conversation now with someone else. “well… you know, it’s an open bar, so technically, we can get as many as we want.” as much as he doesn’t want to, a grin is tucking at the corner of his lips, sloppy and tipsy. “but i’ll let you get me one, sure, ifffff,” he draws out, the grin now turning into a full blown drunken smile, “you tell me your last name.” he shared his full legal name at the library before getting practically aired, so he felt like it was only fair that he knew landon’s as well. tomorrow he would hate himself for giving in so easily, but right now? it was a different story.