* 𝒎𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒔 / 𝑻𝑶𝑼𝑪𝑯

the more egotistic part of her wants to agree, because yuji is smart, but she’s not quite sure she’s helping haein much with what she’s giving. yuji always felt that mindset is the key– (fueled by spiteful pride, of course) to getting over these hurdles. yuji likes having to shake things up, and even if they feel terrible in the moment, yuji doesn’t mind the moments that make her feel low. that question her worth and her drive and the continued question of why are you even doing this?

but what if she debuts the day after? what if all that sad feeling is whisked away just because she decided to keep pushing forward. that the way is worth it. that everyday she gets better, that every day of practice isn’t wasted because she’s trying.

unfortunately for her, the years have piled up, and she had begun feeling it a bit earlier here at sr media. however, she wasn't going to give up, which is why she initiated this conversation with yuji to begin with. it was a golden second, almost third, chance she's been given, and she wasn't going to let it go to waste.

"nothing in particular," she says in response before continuing. "i've been focusing on trying out new dance genres and whatnot to try to improve my repertoire, but nothing feels like enough," she confesses with another loud sigh. she had begun trying out new things because everything she's already learned seemed boring for now, but it still felt like she was at a standstill with herself.

"sure thing," she mumbles, leaning her head against haein's when she tucks it against her shoulder. "i wasn't doing anything." i haven't been doing anything, she doesn't say. art school applications have drained her motivation, and everytime she plays a game her eyes glaze over. mind too preoccupied with other things.

sua blinks at the question. "i've been to arcades before, but..." she trails off, glancing around. she works across the street from one, and that one is a bit more...updated, she guesses. smaller too, with only the most popular choices rotating in and out. "not like this."

"yeah, this one's one of the biggest ones i was able to find myself! usually, the arcades i see around will have like one or two games, but this literally has everything you can imagine." okay, she might be exaggerating a little, but she truly does think she hasn't been to a more extravagant arcade than this. "i have made it my goal that i will try almost every game today, so you better be ready." with that, she can't help but laugh at how ridiculous she sounds, but that's what the day will be for. she wanted to be able to have fun without worrying about other things.

she realizes she's getting too far ahead of herself. "i'll go start our music," she says, and she does just that, setting the music to play ten seconds before their choreographed section. she settles into a spot next to haein, and stares straight into the mirror, focused.

she thinks she remembers the moves already. she can't be certain she executes them as cleanly as she should, though. she's learned, pretty much since signing to sr media, that there's nothing wrong with something not being perfect the first time.

still, she notices a variance between her and haein's movement near the end of the string of moves, and once their portion of choreography is over, she goes to turn the music off.

however, sr media was different. they continued to give the trainees tasks to make sure they improved, and she was thankful for that. it actually felt like she was training this time around. she lets out a hum of agreement before giving nayoung a shrug. "it might be more challenging, but what's a task like this without a bit of challenge, right?"

she nods to signal that she's on the same page as nayoung and goes through the moves with the music. when they're done and her fellow trainee points out that she was wrong, haein can't help but tilt her head in confusion. "hmm?" she watches as nayoung demonstrates the move for her. usually, she's pretty on board with switching things around to make sure she was in sync with somebody else, but she's pretty sure she isn't wrong.

“right…” yuji trails off, nodding her head, giving the other a sympathetic smile. it still could be true– training is rough somedays. especially now-a-days when it’s been feeling so repetitive as of late. especially for the other, because if yuji remembers correctly, she’s trained previously somewhere else. “i’ve been there.”

yuji doesn’t offer much else of a response, content with just observing haein while she fiddles with her headphones absentmindedly; maybe waiting for something. turns she was right, because haein continues, and yuji almost snorts in amusement. she shifts instead, letting out a soft chuckle in response to haein’s laugh. “i’ve been here a while, yes.” she answers. “over a year now.” and almost a half, if yuji counts the months at lime.

her brow raises at the following question, blinking at the other as she processes. is that what’s got haein so down? for a moment, yuji doesn’t know how to answer. she hums instead, to show that she’s thinking– glancing away. part of her wants to respond with i always believe in myself, because yuji does, for the most part. but she’s sure that isn’t what haein wants to hear, nor will it help her.

with that in mind, she might have kept this concern to herself, but she really was feeling a little lost, and she thinks talking it out with someone would be helpful. from the little interaction she's had with yuji, haein came to the quick conclusion that she didn't seem like the type to use this against her in the future. if she did? then, oh well.

she hums upon hearing yuji's training time, and she can't help but nod because that has been a while. haein thinks yuji's the longest trainee she's spoken to so far. "a support system," haein repeats with a single nod. her family has always been supportive of her, and she knows nobody would blame her if she went to them with her concerns, but she doesn't want to worry anybody.

"wait— three?" haein explains quickly enough that there was another company involved with her journey sometime before she and jinyoung had ever crossed paths, but that doesn't stop him from exclaiming his surprise for everyone to hear. "well, i guess you know what they say about third times and charms," he shrugs, though he is quite happy for the girl. the both of them deserved to get a break eventually; jinyoung can admit that he's pleased that it ended up this way for both of them.

the smile on jinyoung's face softens, turns a little nostalgic and sentimental, in a sense. haein seems to understand what he's saying despite his poor attempts to describe it. likewise, he thinks he understands her. it's imperfect, it's hard to describe, and yet somehow they both get it. he's dreamed about being here for half of his life. now that he made it, it's all he wanted and more. there's still a long way to go before meeting his ultimate goal, but every day is a step forward now.

there's a lot that's said within the short silence that falls between their conversation. she thinks back to the hours they spent at dance studios and suddenly seeing jinyoung at axis feels a little too surreal once more. "yeah, the sudden sunlight was definitely something i had to adjust to as well," she says with a snort before lightly shaking her head.

he eyes haein with a different appraisal in his eye; perhaps he does view her a little differently knowing that she has more experience than he ever knew. "should i call you sunbae?" his tone is light, mostly joking. but he supposes if haein says yes, then he'll be forced to oblige.

"aw, c'mon," he slings an arm around the woman's shoulders, chummy despite the meager history between them. "you really would have given up that easily? do you have any idea how many auditions i failed to get here? an embarrassing amount, actually. it turns out that this face doesn't give me a free-pass into the entertainment world." he can admit he would be disappointed to know that haein gave up, if the universe had dictated that. jinyoung thinks that it's good that things worked out the way they did.

"technically, i would have counted this as my third try. the first was with the company that brought me to korea, second was next gen," she has to stop herself to shudder because the memories of that still brought some chills up her back, "and now this. i wouldn't say it would have been easy to give up, but i might have," she admits with a shrug, nudging his arm off of her at the same time. haein says this all lightheartedly now, but to be completely honest, she does think she would have just flown home if this chance didn't come to her.

she's already spent so many years trying this whole idol thing out. if it didn't work out this time, she would've decided that she just wasn't meant to go down this road. she can't help but let out another chuckle at how confident jinyoung sounds, but she appreciates his own efforts at trying to comfort her.

so when she glances up after a moment, processing the footsteps in her headphoneless ear– she nearly jolts in shock at seeing haein close, only to jolt as they bump into one another. yuji freezes, stiff and frozen— some parts shocked and some parts embarrassed.

haein’s speaking before she can properly open her mouth, yuji blinking at her and watching her expression shift and change in the time she starts speaking til when she ends. firstly, she notes that haein takes the blame– but yuji is definitely sure she’s part of the reason, anyway. secondly, she notes that her mood seems significantly a lot more subdued than the last time they had spoken in depth.

she tries her best to suppress the sigh that is close to leaving her lips, covering it up with a shaky smile instead. "oh, you know. i was up pretty late last night practicing." it's not a complete lie, but it's not the whole truth either. yes, she was tired from practicing late into the night, but she was also just caught up in her own thoughts. yet, she doesn't want to spill her heart out to yuji when they were still only getting to know one another. the most haein's ever spoken to her was back during the songwriting bootcamp and even then, most of the conversation centered around the lesson they took together. she doubts yuji wants to hear all about her struggles.

nayoung never really thought she would be the creative type. after all, she thought the songwriting camp was stupid. they have professional songwriters and choreographers for a reason; what was the point of her learning how to do either when she could focus on refining her other skills?

maybe that stupid camp did inspire something in her, though, or maybe it was just one of her coaches suggesting she try choreographing that got her into it. she's still not a very creative person. choreographing is hard, but nayoung has always loved a challenge and she understands how learning to choreograph can make her a better dancer. at the very least, being able to choreograph makes her look and sound like a better dancer, and that matters to her.

today, she faces her biggest challenge yet: duo choreography. not only that, but duo choreography with haein. she gets why they're doing it. she and haein are both good dancers. they have similar skillsets, really, which is part of what makes working with her worse. will there really be room for both of them in sr media's next girl group? she isn't sure.

all that matters for now is this current project, though. their coaches gave them a song – a minute snippet of one, really – and a bit of choreography to already work with. they have to fill the rest of the space with their own ideas, and report back to their instructor by tomorrow. he said it's okay if it's not perfect, but to nayoung, it's not. it has to be good, and if haein doesn't share that mindset, they're probably going to have problems.

"let's run through it with just the bit of choreography they gave us first. we should make sure we have those moves memorized so we can get an idea of what the choreography as a whole should feel like," she suggests. it's not really a suggestion, but it's also not quite a demand or an order; something in between.

nevertheless, it has now become a norm for her to try to self-choreograph most of her routines. haein wouldn't say she's some sort of master nor would she ever insist that others follow her choreos, but she finds the whole experience to be a lot of fun, and she could see herself improving with every routine she ends up finishing.

however, she doesn't have much experience working with other people, which is why she finds this a bit more challenging than she expected. she nods at nayoung's suggestion before humming the snippet of the song the trainers have given them, replaying the given choreo in her head before moving through it in her mind.

"yeah, i've been dancing for a while." truth be told, haein's not entirely sure where she should begin her dancing experience. does dancing in front of the television when she was three count? or should she count the beginning as when she was a cheerleader back in junior high? because everybody knows those routines were pretty basic.