Year 2023 started with my mum having brain cancer and lungs complications at the same time. Cancer took her away from me in May 11 but showed me she was dying on my 31st birthday in such a cruel way. Ended our long personal war against covid, we tried so hard to protect her sick lungs, while people shamed us for being vaccinated and still using masks under the hot summer sun.
My aunt came from Paris just in time, helped my sister taking care of my mum while i couldn't, (body paralysis turned me into the worst sister and daughter during her last week on earth). She stayed, helped us and gave us some tips. I had a couple weeks filled with lots of adrenaline that made me think i could do something good...the illusion all of a sudden left me empty, both physically and mentally. I am still trying to shake this off of me after 5 months...depression is fading so slow, i gotta be patient.
I gained so much weight because of the pain, binge eating and depression made me lose all the control i had while i was trying to stay alive for me and my family. Now i'm on several drugs, i feel better but i sleep so much i'm never satisfied with my days. Resting is something i HAVE to do but my hyperactivity makes it hard for me.
I started new sports like volley trying to gain some healthy habits...broke my finger on the 3rd day. I'll be back cause i LOVE volley (totally didn't expect this) but i'm pissed. I met new people i feel cool to be around and i'm afraid i won't be friends with them. I gotta keep my hopes up. I need and deserve friends so badly.
I am planning a way to welcome in 2024.
I want the new year to be symbolic. A real new fresh start that will help me build up a life with no more illness, no more cancer running in the family , no more poverty and no more depression.
...my candles will surely do the damn thing.
I am ready to show off and love myself deeply.
2087
turnnoffyourmind
kaledo-art
jacobvanloon
andulkaphoto
prguitarman
gummygunk
stormborns
areudirty
