beep beep

i also put the bat pants on her^^

Damian, of course, argues against it. He says it’s too risky for people to know their superhero identities are together because someone could use it against them. He also thinks that someone could connect Robin and Superboy dating to Jon and Damian dating and then figure out their secret identities.

Jon shoots this down because people already know that Robin and Superboy are friends and use it against them, so that wouldn’t change. Also, they know plenty of people who are publicly dating as both their superhero and civilian identities and no one has figured any of them out yet.

(Also also, Damian and Jon have a bad habit of making out while on patrol together- usually Jon’s fault- so it’s really only a matter of time before someone sees.)

Jon keeps bringing up these points and pestering Damian until he finally agrees. Jon makes them film all these stupid TikTok’s, and Damian acts all bothered, but he actually starts to like it. Cue Damian filming without Jon knowing and purposely doing things in them that annoy Jon just to ragebait him.

His first video is titled “seeing how loud I have to say my boyfriend’s name before he shows up.” All Damian has to do is whisper and Jon’s there, super worried because why would Damian have to whisper unless he can’t speak freely for some reason? The internet loses their shit over it since the video makes it obvious that Jon is always listening for Damian and is very protective over him.

He has another one called “how long will it take my boyfriend to use his x-ray vision on me if I pretend to be hurt?” Damian sets up the camera and then fakes a slight limp when Jon shows up for patrol. Jon’s eyes immediately get unfocused and a second later he’s asking why Damian’s limping if nothing’s broken? Damian laughs and looks at the camera, which Jon then notices, and he starts yelling because “that’s not funny, D, I thought you were hurt!”

His most popular video is actually a series of videos where he just throws himself off of things and times how long it takes Jon to catch him. Sometimes Jon’s already with him, sometimes he’s not. Sometimes Damian calls for Jon, sometimes he doesn’t. No matter what, Jon always shows up and catches him in record time. The internet absolutely adores them.

No one knows it’s Janet’s necklace, his family just assumes it’s a weird Tim thing. He never bothered to tell them the truth and it hadn’t really mattered until Damian and Tim get into a prank war.

Tim had recruited Steph, they filled Dami’s art supply and sketchbooks with glitter.

In order to enact his revenge, Damian recruits Jason and they devise the perfect plan. Something so subtle no one can trace it back to them. They are going to ‘misplace’ that stupid necklace and pretend like Drake lost it himself.

It goes off flawlessly, they wait until he hadn’t slept for at least three days and got mildly injured during patrol. They’re patient as Alfred makes him stay the night at the manor and forces him up to his room.

Once they are sure he’s asleep, the two sneak into Tim’s bedroom and snatch it off his nightstand. Now all they have left to do is wait and see the humorous outcome.

But the next morning, the target doesn’t leave his room, not even for patrol. Then the next day and the day after that.

Eventually Bruce realizes something is wrong and goes to check on him, Damian follows. Not concerned….just…curious.

Drake doesn’t respond when they knock on the door, and when they enter he doesn’t move from where he’s laying in bed. The room is a mess, papers everywhere, every drawer emptied out on the floor.

He just lays there and stares at the ceiling fan. He doesn’t flinch when they turn on the light, he doesn’t answer when they call his name.

Bruce inch’s closer and sits on the end of his bed, Tim doesn’t face him when he says “there is something wrong with me” in a monotone voice.

“I lost it” he answers when prompted “I lost the last bit of my mom I had.”

Damian feels his heart drop, he runs out of the room and calls Jason. They need to return that stupid necklace immediately so Tim can go back to normal.

The pair gets together and goes to return the ‘prank’ in the afternoon. “We found it” Jay says, “you left it by the batcomputer”

Tim just stares at it with that same detachment as he did to the ceiling fan before dropping his head into his hands. His shoulder shake but he’s completely silent. Neither of the brothers know if he’s crying or finally lost it.

“I can’t take this back” he whispers finally, “my mother, she wouldn’t want me to have it anymore. Drakes don’t misplace things they care about. I am an awful son.”

Jay and Dami don’t need to think twice before they spill their entire plan. Drake may have terrible habits, hair cuts, and taste in hero names. He may be infecting this family with his loser complex, but he is still their brother.

you don’t say, tim. has he now?

…

-

“Ta-nuhn rawteev teysojeb vote?”

Kara freezes. Pa is ... what is Pa doing?

“Ta-nuhn rawteev teysojehb vote?”

Is ... that? The words are dull and flat, like always, but they sound almost like ...

“O-key. We-ill trai that a-gyan. Ta-nuhn rawteev Ka-RA vote?

And little Kal’s voice rings out, excited, “Kara! Kara!”

She turns the corner and there they are, Kal trying to wiggle away from Pa in her direction. He turns back to Pa, looking like the Kents do when they are pleased, and triumphantly announces, “Kara! Si! Kara!”

“You found me, cousin!” The words are automatic as she grabs him out of Pa’s rapidly failing grip, still wondering ...

And Pa mutters to himself, “SojehbTEY?”

He had been trying to speak Kryptonian. He ... what had he tried to say?

‘Where ... little cousin at?’ Why would he ask Kal that?

Pa takes a deep breath, and touches her arm gently, and she prepares for the flow of alien speech. She can sometimes understand now, if he keeps it simple.

“Nuhn rap Ka-RA teysojehb?”

That ...? OH! She’s started telling Kal he is her cousin every night as she puts him to bed.

‘You are Kal-El, my cousin. You are of the House of El. You are loved. Rao shines upon you.’

Pa tried to repeat that, but with her name. Her REAL name, not the one the aliens gave her. But why? Why call her his cousin? Is this a way of asking her to join a cadet branch of the House of Kent? Do they even HAVE cadet branches?

“Dang-it! Thuht ai had it.”

Ah, she’s just been staring at him. That is disrespectful! She needs to ... but! He spoke to her in Krypton- he spoke to KAL in Kryptonian. He ...

“Kal, where is your Pa-Kent?”

Kal lights up at the easy question, wiggling around to chime at Pa, arms raised to be grabbed. She passes him over with only a pang of loss, focused on Pa’s face.

“Ta-nuhn rawp Ka-RA-ni vote?”

She thinks this look is hopeful. Maybe. It ... it’s a happy one, anyway. She thinks.

“Yes!”

“Zee?”

“Oh. Yehs. Yehs, Pa!”

“DUHG! DUHG!”

Kal has tired of this, and of Kara not grabbing him a second time, and wants Krypto again. Kara is half way through the familiar question before she realizes what Pa was trying to do, before.

“Where is your doggie?” is a question Kara must ask 15 times a day. Where is your doggie? And Pa tried to ask about a person in the same way! “Your cousin” like she was any old object just laying around! She laughs, and both Kal and Pa startle.

“Wuht ihz iht, Ka-Lair?”

How would she ever explain? The insult of talking about her in the same way as you would a toy. How CLEVER Pa was, to figure out what the question meant. The feeling of hearing her words spoken in his dull, wrong, WONDERFUL way.

“Ny-suh ju-obb, Pa.”

It’s completely inadequate. It’s ... he says it to her for such small things, nothing like being the first person to speak her language to her in 2 months.

But then Kal starts yelling for Krypto again, and ... the day goes on.

-

This grew out of trying to do the same thing Pa did - figure out how Kara would ask Kal where Krypto was, and then have Pa try to mimic that question with the word 'sibling' instead. Then I hit the three sets of pronouns Doyle gave Kryptonian, and suddenly there was a story. Or a linguistics lesson? I'm fuzzy on the difference - both are equally interesting to me! ;)

The term for older cousin is also one for aunt/uncle. Pa is trying to ask “where is your sibling?” and hoping it’s recognizable even if there are different terms for brother and sister. But it’s actually closer to asking someone “where is your nephew?” when you mean “where is your aunt?”

Kryptonian months are 73 Kryptonian days, equal to about 85 Earth days. So it’s been over 5 Earth months at this point.

Kryptonian sentences:

i cannot afford the time to learn a conlang again

i cannot afford the time to learn a conlang again

i cannot afford the time to learn a conlang again

i cannot afford the time to learn a conlang again

that one trend