bees, confess!

I humble myself before my wife not because I think little of myself, but out of recognition for the way the world has treated her. I can't make the world less misogynistic but I can make our home a space that is hers, where she is always heard and seen. The only people I consistently sir and ma'am are the homeless people I chat with, because I recognize that they are accustomed to disrespect. It isn't self hatred to realize your privilege, and it doesn't take anything away from me to be extra attentive to the needs of people whose needs are traditionally dismissed. My wife sees the ways the world is hard for me as an autistic trans man, and she makes our home comfortable for me in return. Accommodation and support is not a zero sum game, and the only way to do it wrong is to not even try. Within your capacity always try to be more generous with your time, resources, or perspective, than people expect you to be. Easy way to live well.

Nobody sings about ego death quite like the stray kids 💕

I love this thing we do where we create little worlds where things are safer than they otherwise would be for the creatures we love. Top 3 human things for sure. We see a cat and think gosh it's so cold and scary out there for a little cat, come live in my house and I'll make things safe for you. We see a lover and think why would anyone hurt this wonderful person, come live in my house and I won't let anyone hurt you again. We want a safe and comfortable world that doesn't exist, so we build one ourselves, for each other.

I'll try to say that all the bad things people do are because of the gaping hole inside them that can never be filled. Everyone, even the really really bad ones. That every unkind or selfish thing I've done can ultimately be traced back to trying to fill or conceal that hole. I will say this, and people get so defensive of their hole! They will say "Yes but we all have that hole and there's nothing to be done about it. We don't all choose to take out the pain of our hole on other people. At least not all the time. We try not to make our hole other people's problem, but sometimes, sure, it hurts too much and I've been selfish I've been cruel. But that's not the hole's fault. That's my fault for being weak. I am always trying not to be weak, and give in to the siren song of the hole." People hate when I say it might help to look in the hole, see what hurts and why. People say it's an inevitable part of the human experience that hole, no society has existed where people haven't had that hole, and I agree, but that doesn't mean we don't dig the hole ourselves. It doesn't mean we can't do something about the hole. But people love the hole, they can't admit the hole might be changeable. They think they are the hole. They think they love the hole. That's why I'm funny or creative or the way I am, it's the hole. Don't ask me to fill in the hole because that's not possible the hole is essential and eternal. #myhole #my #hole