thinking about kanae being distanced from the other female students even though she’s no different from them. she doesn’t wear the uniform even though she attends school. she doesn’t go to class, she doesn’t have a dorm, she wears makeup…she’s made to seem more ‘grown-up’ despite barely being an adult. she’s adultified so that her status as a child bride isn’t questioned.
it’s fine that utena finds her and the headmaster in a sexual position because she isn’t a student, she isn’t a child, she isn’t allowed to be. she’s expected to act with the emotional, sexual, and mental maturity of an adult, but isn’t afforded any of the power that comes with adulthood (ex. her mother having such control over her, her father deciding who she’ll marry, she doesn’t even get to eat the poison apple herself).
no wonder she wears such an unfittingly small and vibrant uniform as a black rose duelist. her idea of reclaiming the power taken from her is being a child again; no longer having to carry the burden of the adulthood that has been pushed onto her, she can become something that nothing is expected of. her dueling item is a lily, which of course represents death and lesbianism, but also innocence.
when she shatters the lily with her blade, it serves to show us that what she wants isn’t really to be a child again, she wants control over her own situation. her being fed the apple is reminiscent of a child being given food; when she loses her usefulness, even the facsimile of adult power is stripped away from her. she is only allowed to be a child in death, when her powerlessness is shown to no one but her captor.