bee and puppycat screencaps

Deckard’s Grades:

Spice Chiffon Cake. F+. “Interesting use of “spices.” Please don’t use potpourri next time. Unfortunately, this gave me loose bowels. The “+” is only because... my bowels need loosening anyway.”

Two-egg Cake. F. “Where did you find ostrich eggs. Oh, I googled it. That’s pretty far. You have to cook them next time...”

Martha Washington Cake. D+. “Please refrain from using pasta in cakes in the future. It was al dente though. If it wasn’t a cake this would be an A.”

Silver Cake. C-. “Who chewed the gum and blew the bubble stuck to this cake? Presentation has improved, I like the face, even though cutting it made me feel bad.”

Dark Fruit Cake. D-. “Olives are dark and technically a fruit, so I’ll pass you, but like, really????”

Orange Tea Cake. E+. “You left the teacup in it.”

Modern Marble Cake. D+. “You have to BAKE IT...”

Dear parent of one of my students,

We’re going to go see the grunions this week! They’ll be washing up on the short by the cove, it’s mating season. Gross, huh? .... and romantic, I guess!

We’ll be leaving at a bit before noon unless I sleep in. We’ll arrive back hopefully before the end of the day but like who knows, right?

Please consider donating: A blank check. Haha, just kidding, cold hard cash is fine. A 5 for gas and maybe snacks.

Please write any special instructions you may have for your child below.

I, ________ hereby grant my child, _______ permission to see the grunions get all up in it.

optimistic: crispin was already awake, whittling another clown or something

realistic: crispin sleeps with one eye open and a knife under his pillow