Becoming Timeless

It’s been some time since I’ve penned my thoughts for sharing in this personal space, in which you are invited to explore . . .

                                          First Timer’s, WELCOME!

                                             Well, It’s nice to be here.

 Plenty has transpired since moving to Queens, NY: Broken hand, Better shift at my work place, Released my first solo musical effort called “IT’S ABOUT TIME”, Befriended some acquaintances, Lost touch with a couple, Cut ties with few. You know, just a bunch a life happening.

 At some point in time we eventually wake up to our calling. I’ve realized that answering your calling can by far be one of the loneliest experiences, while for some, it’s that one experience you want to share with the likes of all you adore, have love for, or take a liking to. I’m sure for some people their journey’s play out as planned with friends who had no hand or words in the motions of successful progression. That’s cool too I suppose. As it turns out, it’s really about what works for you and what doesn’t work for you.

                                             Don’t get me wrong.

It can get lonely for many reasons, not solely because it’s something that just happens.

 You’ll come across people who will point you in a direction that leads you farther from your calling or end goal. Keep in mind it’s possible that someone pointing you down the wrong path may not be deliberate; they could actually believe it’s the move you should make for the betterment of yourself. Then, there will be people who assist in helping you achieve plenty for only but a season.

 I’ve learned, in life, on that personal journey to answer the call, everybody won’t make it with you. People you’ve known for years may take action that demonstrates how much you no longer know them, or never actually knew them.

 Sometimes we are strong enough to push Willfully through the poor habits that tend to break you down rather then build you up. Though I say “Sometimes”, pushing Willfully through bad habits is not exclusive to some, but available to all who don’t harbor the ongoing misfortunes of ultimate physical or mental handicap. There will be people you care for who are found entangled in a lifestyle constructed by poor habits. You do what you can to encourage them to recover the Will to break free of those harmful habits, but it’s not on you should they die of thirst in front of the waters you’ve led them to.  Let this not stop you from drinking.

 It is likely that those you’ll find in your presence at the finish line are but a handful of others who wanted more out of life. You won’t see them at the finish line because you’ve won, but because they too had chosen to win for themselves. Together formed, A Winner’s Circle.

 Moving forward takes an extreme level of Focus, Discipline, Will power, Competence, along with an uncommon desire for more out of life.

 Expect no one beyond yourself to know or understand why what works for you actually works for you. Besides, the concern of another should focus on what they can control and what works for them.

 Take little advice from someone who hasn’t figured out their way or themselves. Their knowledge of self is slim to none, so they too will find themselves dancing in the heart of a spiders web – Trapped, Stagnant, Unsure, With no heavy intention of a next stop. Still, they too deserve love, a push for growth, and words of encouragement, as we all do.

 If you want something done, do it yourself. Rely on no one but yourself to make it happen – whatever “It” may be.

 People will spectate and express opinions of your workings along the way. Keep in mind that the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of another are only Truth for them. Analyze all words sent your way, especially when it’s coming out of the mouth of someone you truly care for. Because you care for someone doesn’t mean the feeling is neutral. All are entitled to their personal motives and ideas, but know to not play a role in such business when it isn’t necessary or beneficial to your walk. Importantly, understand your personal journey has nothing to do with anyone else. Each of us will have our own personal journey to pursue. Perhaps some will play a part in excelling you farther from your current standings onto a space that’s closer to your finish line; still no one will ever have the feet to run your race for you.  

 Getting to and beyond your finish lines in life will be solely on you. Whether you succeed or fail, you have to hold that with absolute truth – disregarding all stories and point of views that don’t belong to you.

 Some serve to help. Some serve to teach. Some serve to distract. Some will become a Reason; some will stick around for a Season, and a few will break through with you while keeping near for a lifetime. We don’t usually know until we’re accomplished and looking back from the finish line.

                                  Whatever occurs, Life will go on.

                                          Like life, I too go on.

                                               Moving Forward.

I Responded to Your Email in this Post

 Why?

 Because, I think your question is brilliant.  It’s important, I think. Also, It’s something no one’s ever asked me.  I’m responding from my own perspective, some may relate.

  You asked: “ What is it about the use of the word "Nigga", "My Nigga", etc...? What is the definition? What does it mean? Is it used for acceptance? Is it used to label? When is it ok for anyone no matter what race to use it? Do you think it perpetuates racial bias?” ”

 For me, where I’m from, It’s a word that isn’t unfamiliar.  At this point it’s just become apart of ‘The Lingo’ for many, especially in the realm of Hip-hop. The word  “Nigga” Today, isn’t what the word ”Nigger” meant some years ago, for some (Okay, maybe even a lot.).  In a weird sense it’s almost used in the same space as the word “friend”, but in slang terms. I think a lot of us over the years sorta subconsciously disempowered the word “Nigga” to the point where it’s almost not even negative.  Of course this doesn’t stand for all.

 I can’t call it really, for me; it’s not used for acceptance. However, I can see where in many cases that it can be used for the purpose of acceptance.  Maybe someone want’s to “Be Down”, so he or she adjusts to the lingo in the room’s current setting.  That I can see.  I can also see where it can be used to label, no different then “coon”, “spic”, or “cracker”. Some people run on a program where those words, and others, are used to hurt other humans.  That’s not something I’m down with.

 I don’t know if it’ll ever be okay for anyone no matter the race to use the term “My Nigga” freely.  The History of the word “Nigga” will always be painful to someone who has experienced the use of it negatively, and will find it degrading and disrespectful. The Power someone may hold to that word, the pain they may hold with it, it could be bad.  For someone else it could be good, or fine.  “My Nigga!”, and “My Nigger”, are so far apart for many; they may not even register the word as hurtful.  It all depends on who and what mind-set they’re running on.

  It’s really all about the amount of power we hold to our created language at the end of the day.  It also varies upon locations too, I think.  I do my best to not attach myself to labels and such.  Just using language to communicate with others is good enough for me.  Though I understand others may not feel the same as me, so I make sure to always be mindful when using the word/term  “Nigga” / “My nigga”, though it doesn’t make it right in the eyes of everyone.  

 At least this is how I see it.  

I hope I was able to be of insight my brother.

 Cheers. Hugs

For Readers, Here’s the full email below.  Johnny is a friend who I was blessed to connect with during my to trip to Savu Savu, Fiji.  Though there’s much distance, I’m proud to say me and Johnny are friends.  I sent Johnny a song or two and the following email was his full response.  It was the questions he asked that inspired this blog.  Love You Brother.

Reunited and it feels so good. Haven’t been able to spend much time with you as of the last few months, but I’m glad we were able to change that. July 4th 2014 weekend was absolutely magical. Many laughs were exchanged. Respectful and encouraging words were traded. There was an evolution in the bond we share, and that was evident.

From $2.00 shots at Balleys bar, to trespassing a closed theme park. From me getting hustled for $20.00 by a female in front of crowds at the basketball game, to watching Tim Dugan slap some random Spanish girl’s ass then later on riding off into the night on someone else’s bike (laughing) – wild boy.

I can go on and turn this post into one of my 7 paragraph writings, but I won’t. What was shared isn’t to be broadcasted, but cherished. And if all is to be forgotten over time just remember one thing: Credit me for nothing - You always had it within yourself.

I originally wasn’t going to post my feelings on this because it hits so close to home, but I read a Facebook post from your daughter Iliana this morning and it inspired me to speak what my heart feels.

  Mr. Germosen.. Dad,

  Doing little things like going to the hospital to bring you a ginger ale meant everything to me because I knew there wasn’t much I could do, but serve you.  I remember when you had pieced together the detachable Verizon ball Vanessa had brought you, and I’d take it apart saying, “I can piece this together easily.” – You laughed.  Maybe you thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, which I didn’t – haha – It was a good laugh shared. One I’ll always reflect on.

Before I left to Fiji, I would go visit you and unknowingly have what would be our last man to man conversation. Your eyes lit and you smiled as I gently placed down a six pack of ginger ale. I asked you, “So what’s the first thing you want to do when you get out of this hospital?” - You replied, “I want to go to Havana Central.” – These are things I’ll never forget.

I remember one Friday night being able to assist Vanessa with fixing the printer for you. The reason it meant so much to me was because you were always the one fixing things for people and for the first time I would be able to help fix something for you. For me, it was like being able to buy something for someone who already has it all.

Your family misses you dearly. They fulfilled your every wish to rest peacefully in the Dominican Republic with your mother. Sometimes I speak of you in past tense because not everyone will understand why I believe you’re still alive. Physically you aren’t here, so you can’t be seen by the normal human eye, but I know your spirit is present amongst us all. You’ll always guide your daughters with the words “Keep going, be strong baby” when they feel they can’t continue on without you. I’m sure there’s not a day where mom doesn’t think of you – you’ll forever be her love.

In life things happen, and though we know many of these things are destined, eventually, we’re never really ready for them. Your departure was one of those things. Mr. Germosen.. Dad. We miss you and stand strong to represent all that you stood for. The memory of your smile provides a flame of inspiration in the souls of every person you’ve touched throughout your journey in life. That flame burns at its strongest now more than ever. We love you.

I’m currently reading a book by Don Miguel called “The Mastery of Love” – great read.  Here Miguel touches deep on both Forgiveness & Love. I found it interesting, so I decided to share with you.

  “You will know you have forgiven someone when you see them and you don’t feel anything anymore. You will hear the name of the person and have no emotional reaction. When you touch a wound and it doesn’t hurt, then you know you have truly forgiven. Of course, a scar is going to be there, just as it is on your skin. You will have a memory of what happened, of how you used to be, but once the wound is healed, it won’t hurt you any longer.

  Perhaps you are thinking, “Well, it’s easy to say we should forgive. I have tried, but I cannot do it.” You have all these reasons, all these justifications why you cannot forgive. But this is not the truth. The truth is that you cannot forgive because you learned not to forgive, because you practiced not to forgive, because you mastered not to forgive.”

  Miguel touches on how we all have these emotional wounds and the only way to heal them is through Forgiveness. As Forgiveness heals the wounds, there is a powerful medicine that will accelerate the process of healing – Love.

  “Love is the medicine that accelerates the process of healing. There is no other medicine but unconditional love. Not: I love you if, or I love myself if. There is no if. There is no justification. There is no explanation. It is just to love. Love yourself, love your neighbor, and love your enemies. This is simple, common sense, but we cannot love others until we love ourselves. That is why we must begin with self-love.

  There are millions of ways to express your happiness, but there is only one way to really be happy, and that is to love.  There is no other way. You cannot be happy if you don’t love yourself. That is a fact. If you don’t love yourself, you don’t have any opportunity to be happy. You cannot share what you do not have. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love anyone else either. But you can have a need for love, and if there’s someone who needs you, that’s what humans call love. That is not love. That is possessiveness, that is selfishness, that is control with no respect. Don’t lie to yourself; that is not love.”

  Forgive & Love. Set yourself free.

There was no collision in personalities. There was an agreement that wouldn't be voiced - there would be no judgment casted from either mind. A sense of comfort was provided via body language. I was certain the time shared would create a moment in two lives that had never been experienced prior to the evening.

  I asked, “So, what does life mean to you?” – A pause. By the eye contact given, I knew one of two things. Either that question had never been asked or it’s been a while since that question had been answered. A response was provided. I nodded my head quietly in understanding with a settle smile. Honestly, I thought the perspective provided was beautiful.

  I proceeded to ask questions in regards to the past of the one opposite to me. The eyes grew glassy, but not one tear would shed. I sensed pain, but stood silent – providing patience to a possibly delicate shift in conversation. It was an incredible story, and I was certainly honored to journey though it for the next forty minutes.

  It would be an hour and twenty minutes respectfully shared before our disconnect would take place. Before we parted ways I said, “You’re a beautiful person, and as long as you believe that, it doesn’t matter who agrees or disagrees. No matter where you land in life there will always be an opportunity to move wherever else you desire to be. Last but not least, never stop loving. Love lives from within yourself, so don’t let life and experiences make you feel otherwise. No one controls that but you.”

Love. Me being able to love myself allows me to love you. I love you without judgment, so when you do what you do, I won’t fine you for it.

Should others find your actions unacceptable, well, chances are, I’ll find your actions interesting.

When you say what you say, just know, I never take it personal – Good or Bad. This might all be difficult to understand, but that’s fine – I’m not expecting you to understand.

  I have a special way of thinking, I know. If you look deep enough, for long enough, you’ll begin see the beauty behind the soul that occupies this body of mine.

I’m imperfect and I love it. Why? Well, because I’m perfect for me of course. The impeccability behind my word is everything to me. I say it, I do it – It’s quite simple actually, for me.

Did you know that one of my favorite places to be is the mirror? No, I don’t run from the mirror – silly you. No, I don’t judge myself in the mirror – silly you again. I smile in the mirror and tell myself that I’m one of the most amazing people I meet on a daily basis, and it’s an honor to be myself. The only difference between me then and me now is that I believe it.

Man, what a moment... New York City’s Bhangra's 5th Annual Holi Hai Festival!  In complete honesty, I didn't really know what to expect when I agreed to join a few friends and tag along for the Holi Hai Fest experience, Saturday May 3rd.  It was going to be something different, that I knew, I just didn't know how different it was going to be - still I was excited.  There were hundreds of people in attendance of all ages, nationalities and ethnicities.  I couldn't help but to notice the one thing we all shared and had in common, besides colorful powders - smiles.  It was a time of fun, unity, a sharing of joyous energies, peace, and celebration.  I proceeded to ask a staff member what the colorful powder signified.  She replied, “Happiness and peace”, following her statement was a handful of blue powder in my face.  I laughed, then took a deep breath just taking in the moment.  It was a magnificent time, not to mention the group of friends I attended the festival with are amazing individuals, so that certainly enhanced the experience.  I look forward to doing this again spring 2015.

As May 13th draws us nearer, I realize more every day the reality of my world.  In 2010 I started up an independent record company called KINGS LEGACY, INC.  I always knew I wanted to help others become greater and reach heights in which even they thought wouldn’t be possible – I just didn’t know how I would do it. 

  Fast Forward to November 2013 I would attend an Anthony Robbins event, Unleash the Power Within.  Now many people get confused, Anthony Robbins is not a Life Coach or ‘Positive Thinking’ speaker, he’s a Peak Performance coach.  What that means is he is able to assist people in reaching their highest level of potential in terms of performance, he also specializes in a number of other teachings.  Now whether you follow through or not is all up to the individual. 

  I decided to explore his teachings deeper and committed myself to excellence - I signed up for Mastery University.  My first two courses to be taken are Life Mastery & Wealth Mastery, back to back, both located in Fiji, starting May 13th.  The information to be received isn’t something just anyone in my community is given on a regular day basis, so I knew taking the opportunity to transform the information into knowledge would be necessary for me to do.  The opportunity itself was a sign for me, and a stepping-stone for me it will be.  It would be the beginning of my ultimate journey - helping others to become greater and reaching heights in which even they thought wouldn’t be possible. 

  For the past few years I’ve pushed to help and encourage others to become greater.  I couldn’t help but to notice myself becoming stagnant in the process; I needed a plan.  First I had to be honest with Me, so I asked myself, “How can I help others be greater or help put them in a better position if at this current point and time I can’t even help myself?”.  It was a reality check indeed.  Many times in life I’ve tried juggling three or four things at once.  I’d attempt to build careers or generate income from these great ideas being developed, but doing three or four things at once how do you master one?  No wonder these ideas were flopping..

  I decided that it’s time to Master what’s most important in order for me to successfully push forward with my purpose in life.  It’s certainly not the most convenient decision made for those who are used to having me around as an asset, but It’s necessary for me to do.  I’m not sure what’s to come from this all, but I do know that It’s all bigger than me.  Everything I’m doing is for an outcome that’s bigger than me.  Wish me luck.

After "Theme Music" pressed over 700+ plays on Sound cloud I decided to release a visual for it (If you only knew what I had to go through to get this visual done.). Anyway, Kept it simple..

"Moments like this I live for."

It's Friday night (prior to this Sunday's concert), i'm up late discussing business with Vanessa and my phone vibrates.. Hmmm, a text from Rich aka 'Philly' (My home boy), at this time? Interesting, I noted. I proceeded to read...

I have tickets to see Kanye perform this Sunday at Nassau coliseum, would you like to go? He asks.

"Definitely, wow, Thank You!" I respond.

So I'm given 7 tickets total to go see Kanye West's "Yeezus" tour, the final show. Now i've heard good things about Kanye's live performances - especially stemming from his Glow in the Dark tour days.

Besides the hectic 'will call' line I had to outwit alongside Brian, Marlene, Vanessa, and Ilianna.. The concert was actually pretty cool. Actually the arena was far from a packed house (or sold out), but it was fairly crowded. If I had any complaints it would be that I disliked the fact that the majority of those in attendance were talking at least 78% of the time Kanye performed, not to mention, the sound quality would grade a "N" for Needs Improvement - so a little silence from the crowd would've definately helped to enhance the Yeezus experience.

Anyway, continuing.. so I sit down and tune into what would be found before me on stage. It's Kanye West! Now I surely didn't expect him to just stand there and rap for the next 2 hours, he's far to creative/artistic/out of the box for that - then again, no one expected him to start on time and he did, I was late for that...

All in all The show he put together was truly innovative. Imagine experiencing Theater, Fashion, Performance, Soul, Hip Hop, Electric, Rock, pyro and stellar lighting all fused into one act amongst several sets - That's Yeezus.  

It was dope, like, respectfully dope though.. It's why Kanye West is who he is as a creative visionary, as a living legend. Not just that, you get to share the room with several rare forms of Kanye.. Yes several. Mr. West is a man of many masks, no pun intended.

He shared moment's where he would seem to be the cockiest artist on the face of the planet. He was awesome enough to share moments where he would be completely vulnerable, also voicing his fustrations as a slave (or Robot) for the industry. Thankfully, there were those touching moments shared with Yeezy as he would speak words of wisdom & motivation into his audience.

I also thought it was pretty awesome to watch him interact with the crowd -  signing someone's "Red October" Yeezy 2's, then autographing a microphone and proceeding to give it to some guy who was fanatic enough to have a Yeezus tattoo on his chest. 

Overall, my Yeezus experience was a good one. I will definitely see Kanye perform the next time he decides to hit the road to tour.