Jes's Transition

- delete conversations between people you no longer talk to. its healthy to let go of the past and not letting yourself dwell on things.

- say kind things about people you like. say good things about yourself. don’t speak or think about people you don’t like.

- look in mirrors. you shouldn’t be afraid of facing yourself.

- clean sheets make clean sleep make clean minds

- allow yourself time to feel and grow. don’t be too hard on yourself for crying, you need to vent in order to move on to better times. even rainy days work towards sunny days.

- if things don’t work out, stop forcing them. there’s no reason for you to keep working and failing if there’s other places/people for you to excel and be happy.

- kiss your body, caress your body. make yourself feel loved.

- running away doesn’t always solve everything. sometimes, the reason that made you run will still be with you. focus on freeing yourself before starting anew.

One day I need to write a really long piece on all the material ways not being poor anymore shelters me from oppression. Not just the ‘very rich people can afford surgery and lawyers’, that part is obvious. It’s all the small things about having the basics.

Not having a flat share means I do not have to negotiate my right to exist in my own home, having a small garden shielded from view means I can be outside without having to present my existence in a way that won’t agitate strangers, having food in storage means I do not have to deal with anyone when I just do not have the energy to do so. Having a spare bike means I do not have to deal with the troubles of public transport when I don’t want to.

Because of all these things I can rest, I can eat, I can feel the sun on my skin, without having to consider whether I want to expend the energy of existing in public spaces where any moment could be hostile. Not every moment, but any moment, and that’s what makes it so exhausting.

ABSOLUTELY. That’s a whole other topic that I wanna write a really long thing about some day.

But oh man yes, my compulsory habbit to pinch pennies and always get the cheapest option on anything, my guilt at spending money that I have on things I love, going back and forth between wanting to buy all the things and feeling terrible about it, panic attacks because I lost a €10 bill, days when I don’t wanna go to a great concert with my friends even though I can easily afford it because the though of spending €20 on something I’ll only enjoy one night causes so much stress that I feel physically sick.

- Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)

- Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks

- Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head. 

- Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself

- Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are

- Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time

- When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly. 

- Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.

- Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it. 

- The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy.