CURIOSITY

What is your all time favorite automobile? I was in my early 40’s when I fi ally had a no doubts whatsoever’ moment. I had the answer I had searched for for so long. My favorite car is the Lexus 360. Driving this car is like flying in s spaceship. It’s amazing really. Perfection.

Chet. Look, I’m tired of pretending that I am clueless. Also, I’m really tired of your excuses and reasons to leave, I’m tired of Tracy, I’m tired of you pretending you are done with her and all the others. I’m bowing out gracefully, before I hate you and turn into a crazy, jealous, angry woman. I will deal with a shattered heart to not turn into an awful person. I still have no idea as to…

Chet. Look, I’m tired of pretending that I am clueless. Also, I’m really tired of your excuses and reasons to leave, I’m tired of Tracy, I’m tired of you pretending you are done with her and all the others. I’m bowing out gracefully, before I hate you and turn into a crazy, jealous, angry woman. I will deal with a shattered heart to not turn into an awful person. I still have no idea as to…

To My Drug Dealer, As much as I would prefer not to, I find myself wondering about you from time to time. Are you someones father? brother? uncle? Lover?  Obviously you are the product of two parents, but did they love you? Did they show this love and then leave you footprints to walk through? Surely, this is not the case because then you’d realize how devastated they would be if they ever…

This is a blog about my dogs, 1 short, 1 tall. Both snarl at other dogs. I warn everyone before they come, to not bring their dogs for they may become chum. Most friends heed this warning, yet some do not even care. They bring their dog’s all the while we are unaware. Then a scream rings out, louder even than the crowd. We all race to see what it could possibly be.

So very true. M Love hurts!

Hi readers. I realize that this post may seem odd to some of you compared to all my others. This post is something that I feel I have to share with the world before its too late. I was just an infant when my parents had me baptized in a beautiful white gown, at Christ Church. My family attended Sunday School and church every Sunday. I can only speak fir myself on this, but secretly I thought…

My memories of you; of us, are painful and relentless, even now. To drown out these incessant thoughts, I blast my music or TV as loud as my neighbors tolerate. I wake at dawn and then climb right back in bed, to forget a little while longer. I now try to fill my days with new hobbies or even endless errands. Anything to not let my mind wander to the dark depths I have buried you in. The memories…

 The first time my life fell apart was the day I was born. My young birth mother chose to put me up for adoption. Though I was just a baby, this choice is the root of my lifelong fear of abandonment. I learned to be unsure of my footing, I learned to fret, I learned to worry uncontrollably, over things that I had no control of. I was weaker, less confidant, than other girls my age, because I was…

My addiction to drugs has been a long journey, fraught with potholes, cliffs, and dead ends. A maze, if you will. I can imagine how it appeared to outsiders not on my exact path. However, if I have learned anything during my time here on Earth, it’s that no single person learns or grows in the same way, or at the same pace. Reflecting back from where I stand today, I would venture to say that for…

MY OH MY. I USED TO FEEL AS IF MY LIFE WAS GOING TO BE NOTHING BUT MISERY AND MENTAL ANGUISH. I had no way of knowing that the monsterous suffering I had endured as a young child was only the start of the abuse that would plague me well into middle age. Little girls, at the young age of 9, should be happily playing with baby dolls and tea sets without a care in the world. 9 year old little girls…

“Fucking bitch!” I barely heard this slurred, disrespectful statement he was screaming at me, while glaring in my direction. They were only words, right? I should be used to it by now, but I wasnt. Every icy name he punched in my direction hit my heart like a poison arrow. I had begun to train myself to tune out the insults he hurled at me, almost nightly, like snowballs on a cold winter’s day.…

I, unknowingly made the mistake of inviting you into my life, several times, without ever realizing that the choices I was making at the time were actually your written, stamped, and mailed invitation. Only now, after making these same decisions repeatedly, do I actually feel your presence. I no longer require or desire your constant, ever negative influence in my life. I reclaim my life. I’m…

18 Sirrine Drive was where my family lived, when I was small, my brother tall, and my sister just a baby. Then we were a family, led by my Dad, the king was he. My mom, the Queen, stood by his side. We followed Dad, he was our guide. To someone on the outside, casually peering in, we appeared to be a happy family. But things aren’t always as they seem, when outside looking in. Those big wide…