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@beauteespoir
/pokes head in for a second
If anyone’s interested in writing with me again, I’m over at lacourageux, my new multi-muse blog. It’s very low key, but I’m writing as Belle again over there, as well as Sansa from GoT and Aria from PLL.
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She should have anticipated such an answer from Belle, of all people. A believer in true love and all the magic it could work. Very well, if she wants the honest answer, she shall have it.
“Yes, I am still in love with him. Does that bother you?”
❛❛ No. ❜❜
and that was the truth. while the road to reconciliation —— a TRUE mending that wasn't just a temporary patch-up —— between herself and rumple was still an uphill climb, belle actually found herself feeling secure in their efforts. they were both trying to repair the wounds that their relationship had suffered & honestly ———— too focused on chipping away at the wedge between them to even allow anyone else to insert themselves into the commotion.
❛❛ ... But being here does. ❜❜
truthfully, the brunette abhorred the fact that this place was like some ... horrible mirage of storybrooke, even the pawnshop seeming more of a nightmare than a solace. with a heavy sigh, she trailed over to a nearby cabinet, staring desolately at the chipped piece of porcelain that sat in isolation on the shelf.
❛❛ Would you help him ————— even if you gained nothing from it? ❜❜
"I would do anything for you. I would kill for you, I would die for you. I would run my hand slowly up your thigh for you. I would get down on my knees and place my head between your legs and use that wicked tongue of mine to bring you pleasure. I would bury myself inside you and moan your name in reverence, referring to you like the goddess you are. And I'd take you right here and right now, if you wanted me to." [Sorry Rumple insisted. Feel free to ignore.]
YOU HAVE THE ENTIRETY OF ONE ASK TO MAKE MY MUSE BLUSH AND SQUIRM BAD ENOUGH TO NEED A COLD SHOWER. GO NUTS.
she was supposed to be mad at him. ——— she WAS mad at him.
so why did her insides feel like they were on fire?
letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d held, the brunette could only S T A R E at him, torn between the anger in her heart and the heat between her legs. oh, of course she missed that intimate part of their relationship — him knowing just where she liked to be touched, feeling so wholly connected to him in body AND soul …
❛❛ ——— That isn’t fair. ❜❜
She said don’t worry, but he stillthought that he’d been incredibly stupid. Why had he brought up sex when hewasn’t even sure what exactly their relationship was? He was such an idiot. Andapparently whatever they were to each other now, it didn’t include sex. Whichwas fine he just… he hoped that didn’t mean they were completely distant fromeach other now. He couldn’t handle it if they were. She was, after all, theonly thing he had left.
“Yes well, I’ll make sure it doesn’thappen again,” he promised her. “But maybe… maybe we should talk about what we…what we are now. Because I’m not so sure that I know anymore.”
part of her wanted to be thrilled that they were decidedly on the same page … but both agreeing that they didn’t know what they even were anymore? that was hardly the mutual consensus that she yearned for.
❛❛ ... I don't know either, Rumple. You lied to me —— ever since we got married. ❜❜
her head slowly shook back and forth, the disbelief still feeling novel even though the pain was hardly new.
❛❛ I don't know how I can ever trust you again. ❜❜
“Right,” he agreed slowly. Tea. It hadbeen a long time since he’d done even that. But it would be good. It would helpkeep him calm. And it would help give him a small bit of time to try andgather his thought about what had happened to him and how he could try toexplain it all to Belle without making it seem like he was just making excuses.Because a lot of it just sounded like a bunch of excuses.
“Is Earl Grey okay?” he asked as hemoved towards the kitchen. And thought. About… her. His mind wanted to shy away from that topic but he didn’t let it because he was going to have to talk about it and heneeded to actually know what he was going to say. Even if just the thought was torture.
oh, the TYPE of tea that he served her was really irrelevant —— the brunette wagered that it was likely to sit, untouched, as they talked ... it'd probably run cold before she actually managed to think about taking a sip. but this wasn't about ... the practicality of him serving her tea, or even about what flavors he had to offer her. she had come to hear his explanation and figure out what the HELL was going on between them, and that was what she was truly anticipating.
❛❛ —— Yeah, that's fine. ❜❜
heaving a deep sigh, the brunette's attentions turned to the ... worrisome state of the cabin. even though she knew beyond the shade of a doubt that rumple had been here for several days, it looked as though no one had even been inside the place for ... for MONTHS. there was no sign of life, no empty food containers or dirty dishes to show that he had eaten so much as a snack, just N O T H I N G . oh, what was going on out here?
❛❛Yeah, that bugger. Lotta the stories from our worlds are off a touch, but that book is close. To a point. ❜❜
there were things left out and changed, but he wasn’t sure that was a bad thing. no one knew about what had happened with him and Anastasia. probably just thought the story about the tarts was the end all of what he’d done during his time in Wonderland.
❛❛ Wouldn’ really call all of it an ‘adventure’. complete an’ utter mayhem for bits ‘a it. Dunno what ‘normal’ is anymore. ❜❜
Not that he’d ever settle for such a concept. sure, peace and quiet were nice from time to time, but he’d spent too long in the thick of things to go back now.
oh, that line was a bit B L U R R Y sometimes —— between adventure && mayhem; the brunette knew that all too well. she knew that just as she had come to question the true existence of 'normal' ... or at least a blanketing definition of the word.
❛❛ Well ... I don't know if you'll find normal here either —— ❜❜
❛❛ But maybe a slice of pie and some tea will, uh — help it feel that way for a little. ❜❜
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whoa hey, someone’s been a slacker. hey lovelies —— sorry i've been MIA lately, but i've taken on several creative projects that have been consuming my time. i'm gonna try to get to replies and things soon, but thaaaaank you for being patient! c;
hey lovelies! if you haven’t noticed by now, i make theme graphics — huzzah! and, in my struggle to earn an income and pay back student loans, i’ve decided to use those skills to not only help those of you who want some awesome custom graphics for your theme, but to turn it into a beneficial side project for me! c: so yes, i can make you things, but all i’m asking in return is a small fee, paid to me via paypal. how much? well, for anything actually on your theme page (up to three graphics), it’ll just be a flat rate of five dollars. if you want anything to go on your dashboard (such as an icon or profile banner — once again up to three graphics), that’ll be another five dollars. if your request gets more involved and requires more time and effort on my part (something like doing a photo manipulation), i might up the fee just a teensy bit, but i’ll iron all those details out with you before i start working. that way, all parties are happy!
so — if you’re interested, just shoot me a message (either through my inbox or the nifty new messenger system) and we’ll discuss details! ♥
“I am quite sure Regina is happy to fill you in. As long as you don’t spill the beans to Will, it seems to be a women only party.” Robin shrugs, he was not really keep in getting involved either way.
not tell will? women only? either the mayor was planning a rather ... unconvential wedding ceremony, or the brunette had crossed her wires somewhere.
❛❛ They're only inviting women to the wedding? ❜❜
"I would do anything for you. I would kill for you, I would die for you. I would run my hand slowly up your thigh for you. I would get down on my knees and place my head between your legs and use that wicked tongue of mine to bring you pleasure. I would bury myself inside you and moan your name in reverence, referring to you like the goddess you are. And I'd take you right here and right now, if you wanted me to." [Sorry Rumple insisted. Feel free to ignore.]
YOU HAVE THE ENTIRETY OF ONE ASK TO MAKE MY MUSE BLUSH AND SQUIRM BAD ENOUGH TO NEED A COLD SHOWER. GO NUTS.
she was supposed to be mad at him. ——— she WAS mad at him.
so why did her insides feel like they were on fire?
letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d held, the brunette could only S T A R E at him, torn between the anger in her heart and the heat between her legs. oh, of course she missed that intimate part of their relationship — him knowing just where she liked to be touched, feeling so wholly connected to him in body AND soul …
❛❛ ——— That isn’t fair. ❜❜
Okay maybe he’d let that get away fromhim. He was basically trying to tell her that he’d do anything for her and thathe cared about her no matter what, but somewhere along that way it had gottenfar more… sexual then he’d intended.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Which meantnothing. It didn’t matter how remorseful for things he was, he’d still donethem. It didn’t matter that he was sorry, it had happened and sorry couldn’t fixit. It couldn’t fix anything.
“I just… I was trying to tell you thatI’d do anything you wanted to and… well I got carried away.” An explanation wasgood. Only it sounded like an excuse. “Can we just forget I said anything?”
… and just like that, the heat began to ebb as her thoughts faded from tongues && T H R U S T I N G to naught but the pleas of an apology that she’d heard countless times. oh, it wasn’t that she was frustrated by his pleadings, just that … well, maybe she W A S frustrated, just not merely with a question of forgiveness. more than anything, she simply wanted to know WHAT their relationship was.
❛❛ It’s … fine, Rumple —— don’t worry about it. It isn’t like that’s a foreign place to either of us. ❜❜
“Does it matter?” Cora inquires in turn with a shrug of her blazer-clad shoulders, not answering the question. “You are his wife and I, well, I remain very much dead. Emma may have come here with the intention of resurrecting Hook, but I have no illusions about returning with you to the land of the living.”
❛❛ Feelings always matter. ❜❜
after everything that she had been through with rumple up until this point, the sentiment nearly came flying from her tongue in response to the other woman's dismissal of the question. oh, the librarian knew very well that feelings mattered —— perhaps they didn't surface in the way that anyone expected ( or intended ), but one way or another, feelings always made a difference.
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"You know, it's hardly the perfect crime when there are only two people living in this castle. I would have thought there were enough books in your library without you pinching ones from me! What use do you have for spellbooks anyway?"
she wasn't surprised to see him as he appeared with his typical S N A P of magic; oh, he had been finding any && every excuse as of late to chide her for the most trivial of things. but as there usually was, the brunette suspected that there was something definitively MORE to rumplestiltskin's mood and beratements.
❛❛ I didn't steal them ——— I borrowed them. You can't expect me to not be curious ... especially with all the spells and potions and — other magical THINGS you have here. But here ——— ❜❜
in one graceful motion, she lifted the two small books from her lap, holding them out in gesture of return.
❛❛ If you're missing them that badly, just take them. ❜❜
hey lovelies! if you haven’t noticed by now, i make theme graphics — huzzah! and, in my struggle to earn an income and pay back student loans, i’ve decided to use those skills to not only help those of you who want some awesome custom graphics for your theme, but to turn it into a beneficial side project for me! c: so yes, i can make you things, but all i’m asking in return is a small fee, paid to me via paypal. how much? well, for anything actually on your theme page (up to three graphics), it’ll just be a flat rate of five dollars. if you want anything to go on your dashboard (such as an icon or profile banner — once again up to three graphics), that’ll be another five dollars. if your request gets more involved and requires more time and effort on my part (something like doing a photo manipulation), i might up the fee just a teensy bit, but i’ll iron all those details out with you before i start working. that way, all parties are happy!
so — if you’re interested, just shoot me a message (either through my inbox or the nifty new messenger system) and we’ll discuss details! ♥
“You will have to ask Regina, I have no idea, she is in charge.” Robin said, not noticing her mood.
oh, what was it with this town? either EVERYBODY was aware of the state of things ( usually by prying && prodding into matters that didn't concern them ), or everyone was conversely OBLIVIOUS.
... or perhaps regina was simply MONOPOLOZING the situation again.
❛❛ Ah, I ——— I'll do that then. ❜❜
he wasn’t used to be seen as interesting or unique, save for in a negative or hurtful way, in the ‘heavy sigh and move on’ way. her interest in his his past had his lips dragging up into a smile.
❛❛ Grew up in Oz, actually. Place looked like someone dumped buckets of paint out and forgot ‘bout it. Then I was in Sherwood, then Wonderland, then here, then back to Wonderland, then back here. ❜❜
right, that really did sound out there, considering how infrequent people were moving between worlds.
❛❛ Rabbit brought me. White rabbit’s a portal jumper, an’ he and I are mates. ❜❜
❛❛ Like from the book ———— The ... W H I T E R A B B I T, I mean. ❜❜
oh, discovering the idiosyncracies between their worlds and this world's adaptation of their stories had always been a spot of curiosity for the brunette. to this day it seemed she was still unearthing which of the "fairytale characters" had crossed over with the curse.
it hadn't been until she had stumbled upon will in the library that she'd discovered the tale about alice, her curiosity inevitably piqued by such a ... unique place —— and characters unlike any other she'd ever encountered.
❛❛ That really sounds I N C R E D I B L E, though —— seeing so many different places. You must've had the greatest ADVENTURE. ❜❜
He couldn’t stop himself from wincingwhen she said ‘don’t’. Of course she didn’t want an apology. He should haveknown. She probably saw it more as an excuse then anything, pointless aftereverything that he had done. But he didn’t really know why she was here then,or actually why she wanted inside. Telling him that he was going to be stuck hereon his own for a while wouldn’t take that long.
But then she continued and heunderstood. She wanted an explanation. And he had one of course, one that soundedlike just a bunch of excuses piled end on end. One that she wouldn’t like andthat he didn’t even want to think about. But he owed her. He owed hereverything really. He could tell her this.
“It… may take a while,” he told hersoftly. It was complicated. But really he was trying to stall this just a bit,to prepare himself to actually think about and discuss it. “Would you like sometea? Water?”
she could sense his uneasiness —— not unlike her own anxieties that continued to tapdance on her nerves with their impending conversation looming on the horizon. oh, there had always been a sort of ... awkwardness between them, but this was different. this wasn't BUTTERFLIES of attraction or new love —— this was ... uncertainty && walking on EGGSHELLS.
she h a t e d it.
❛❛ Uh —— sure. ❜❜
she hated how what had once been a comfort, a salve —— a HOME —— was now the most unsure thing in her life. oh, part of her still just wanted to scream at him for his betrayal, but no, no — she'd finally managed to surpass her blind rage at his actions; she'd hear him out. their relationship deserved that much.
❛❛ Tea's fine. ❜❜
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“Oh no no, not yet. This one is for Killian and Emma. Regina is actually quite hyped up to organize it together with Snow, it is like a small miracle!” Robin said with a wide smile.
... killian and emma.
——— KILLIAN AND EMMA.
oh, she knew it was selfish on her part to feel anything but j o y for the couple who was ready and willing to pledge their love to each other in a vow of forever. but given shared history and the current state of all their lives, the news only felt like a sharp JAB to the gut for the brunette.
❛❛ —— Oh. Right. That's ... great. When's the ceremony? ❜❜
She cannot blame Belle for her disbelief: she would have, after all, been well aware of the fact that Cora had made an attempt on Rumple’s life. An attempt that had ended with him taking hers instead. An act, for which, she does not begrudge him.
“This may come as a surprise to you, but I have always cared about him. I was simply incapable of putting him first, like I was with Regina. Not all of us can be selfless individuals such as you, but that doesn’t mean we can’t love all the same.”
putting him first. selfless.
oh, she still distrusted the other woman —— still questioning the genuineness of her concern —— but belle simply couldn't deny the C H O R D that cora's words struck within her.
❛❛ Nobody's truly selfless —— not wholly. We couldn't SURVIVE if we didn't consider our own needs. ❜❜
that being said, cora's motives still sat in the brunette's stomach — like soured milk just waiting to leave a trail of burning wreckage as it resurfaced as bile.
❛❛ —— Do you still love him —— Rumple? ❜❜
this wasn't just j e a l o u s y, even though it certainly could have been interpreted that way. they were in HELL, && belle wasn't taking any chances this time around —— they had come too far for that.
