Dilly-Dally

You had told Neil you didn’t want to come to this party. You knew it wasn’t going to be any fun for you, so why come in the first place? It would have saved you a lot of trouble and a lot of loneliness.

Here you were, stood in the corner, holding a drink you hadn’t touched at all, and staring across the way at Neil. Who had practically not left Bender’s side once this whole time.

Were you jealous? Psh. No way. Why would you be jealous of Bender? Because Neil was the love of your life and you were too stupid to tell him? Who said that!

I mean be realistic. Why would he ever go for you? Not when Bender is standing right next to him with her long legs, beautiful hair and mesmerising eyes.

Grr. Curse your stupid brain!

“Stare any longer and you’re going to burn holes into his face.” Topher joked as he sidled up next to you, leaning against the wall.

You rolled your eyes, “Oh shut up, Toph. I’m not staring at Neil.”

“Oh, really?” He raised an eyebrow at you, daring you to argue but you couldn’t come up with a good comeback.

“Okay… Maybe. But look at him! He’s been attached to Bender since the moment we got here. I’ve just been standing here in this corner, alone, for 3 hours.”

“Oh trust me, I’ve noticed.” Topher crossed his arms as he looked down at you. It wasn’t in a mean manner. You and Topher have been best friends since forever. Your parents were best friends since before you guys were even born. You guys knew anything and everything about each other so of course he knew about your big fat crush on Neil.

“Don’t say it like that, Topher.” You paused as you thought for a second. “I just… I don’t know what to do.” You finally admitted. He knew both sides of the story so he would know… Right?

“I’m not Neil.” He admitted. “Maybe you should think about what it is you actually want with him and what’s going on with him.” Everyone called Neil the Buddha because of the lines he drops on everyone but Topher always had some wisdom hidden up his sleeve.

“Topher… You’re a genius.” A lightbulb went off in your head.

“I know I am, that’s why I’m going to Princeton.” He said it like it was obvious. “But what was my genius idea right now? Just to see if you remember it…” He joked which pulled a laugh from you.

“I should make Neil jealous so he figures out if he actually wants to be with me or not.” You pushed yourself off the wall and paced around the small space in front of you and Topher.

“I don’t think that's what-” He began but you cut him off.

“And you Topher! You’re the perfect one to do it! You gotta help me! If Neil sees me cuddling up close to you then he’s going to lose his mind.”

“I-I don’t know…” He began but you pleaded and gave him the biggest puppy dog eyes you could muster. You even stuck out your bottom lip to fully enhance the pity party. It took him a minute but he sighed. “Fine. But if Neil gets mad at me about this stupid idea, then I’m blaming you.” You basically jumped in joy and pumped your fists around. It made Topher laugh which was good enough for you.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” You thanked him over and over until he laughed and pulled you into a hug to calm you down a little bit.

Across the party, Neil looked over, hoping to catch your eye but instead caught the sight of Topher’s arms wrapped around you in the biggest bear hug he’d ever seen. While he would have thought it was normal for you too due to your friendship, what was different from those times was Topher had his head buried into your shoulder, looking like he was savoring the moment for as long as he could. His eyes trailed down and he saw your hands grasping tightly into Topher’s shirt. He clenched his jaw tightly, practically forgetting that Bender was right there telling him all her drunk problems like she’d been doing all night.

All he wanted to do tonight was hang out with you but when Bender pulled him to the side, way too drunk to be safe, he couldn’t leave her alone at a party with a bunch of creeps.

After what seemed like 20 thousand years, you and Topher pulled apart from each other, staring into each other’s eyes with what seemed like love and affection. He nearly lost his mind when Topher tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, leaned in close so he could whisper something to you. You nodded before you held hands and started walking towards the door to leave.

He hated to do it but he pushed through the crowd, leaving Bender, and catching up to you. “Woah, hey, where are you going?” He asked slightly desperately as his gaze flickered between you and Topher and your intertwined hands.

“Home, Neil.” You said with an eye roll.

“I-I could take you.” He offered before Bender came stumbling up and leaning all he body weight on Neil since she couldn’t hold herself up.

Your eyes flickered to Bender before going back to his. “No, Neil. I think I’m okay.” You averted your gaze and looked up to Topher, “Ready?” He nodded before you both waved bye and walked out of the party.

Now Neil was alone with Bender and all he could think about was you.

You had gotten messages from Neil the day after the party but you didn’t respond. How could you? Not when he was acting the way he was. You had to let him fester with his thoughts and figure his own feelings out.

You were at the cafe with Topher, studying for finals when you heard the bell on the door ring. You almost didn’t look up but something in your gut told you too. And when you did you locked eyes with Neil. Topher looked up from his textbook before realizing what was going on.

“You know, you should go talk to him.” He said before looking back down at his textbook.

“I-I can’t.”

“Bullshit.” He finally set his pencil down and focused on you. “I can’t keep acting like this. You’re in love with Neil and he’s in love with you. Just quit beating around the bush and dragging me into this. Go talk to him.”

You were silent for a second before making your decision. When you looked back up, Neil was already at the counter ordering his Matcha. You got up and waited until he was finished before you approached.

“O-oh. Hey.” He said softly.

“Hey…” You said in the same tone.

“I don’t know if you saw my text but-”

“I’m not dating Topher.” You blurted out. “I don’t know if you thought that or not but… I uh, I’m not dating Topher.” You said awkwardly.

“I don’t like Bender.” He also admitted. “I’m like 90% sure you did think that but I’m not. She was really drunk at the party and I couldn’t in good conscience leave her alone. But I swear, you were the only one I wanted to hang out with.”

You both laughed at your guys’ foolishness. You guys were such idiots but at least you were idiots together.

The moment your parents first told you that you were moving to North Carolina, your life just about ended. You were moving to some small town where there was probably nobody and you would have to make friends with the characters you wrote about.

But after living there for a few months you realize maybe it’s not so bad. You’ve made a few friends, surprisingly. You still remember the moment you met Neil and his friends. You were sitting in the coffee shop because your parents had wanted you out of the house to make friends but you weren’t doing that. You had your journal sat out in front of you, writing about how boring this town was, your headphones in, listening to your playlist of a bunch of different rock bands.

Neil walked in, surrounded by his big group of friends, you looked up and noticed them but didn’t say or do anything. It just so happened that Neil saw you there too. He elbowed Charlie to get his attention and pointed over at you, “Who’s that? Don’t think I’ve ever seen her before.”

Charlie nodded, “Oh, she’s new in town. Moved in right across the street from me.” Neil looked at Charlie with offense written all over his face. Why wouldn’t his best friend have told him that someone that looked like you lived right across the street? “Don’t know her name. Haven’t gotten the chance to introduce myself. She always seems like she’s in a rush, has her headphones in or is writing in that journal.” The bunch sat down on the barstools to order their coffees.

When he glanced back over, he saw you skipping through songs on your phone and caught a glance of the cover art which he knew well. He had never known anyone else who was a fan of one of his favorite bands so obviously he took it as a sign.

Without saying anything to Charlie or the others, he stood up and walked over to your table. You noticed someone standing right next to your table so you looked up and caught the eyes of the same boy that had caught your eye earlier. He had an easy smile on his face. You pulled out your earbuds and smiled back at him. You had opened your mouth to introduce yourself but he beat you to it. He held out his hand, “Hi, I’m Neil. Neil Crosby.” You shook his hand and told him your name. “Sorry for bothering you but I-I saw what you were listening to.” He slid into the seat facing you, “You like Post Sex Nachos? I’ve never met another person who likes them. Well, another person I haven’t introduced to them.” He laughed as he ran a hand through his long and wild hair.

Your eyes tracked his movement as you nodded, “Yeah, yeah I like ‘em a lot. I’ve never met anyone else who liked them either. But I can tell you do.” You joked as you looked down at his shirt, noticing it was a band tee of the exact same band you guys were talking about.

He looked down confused before realizing what you were looking at. He laughed at himself and shook his head, “Must be fate, I guess.” He glanced back up at you through his bangs, his majestic eyes staring into yours. You felt your stomach do somersaults at just that one glance.

You knew then that North Carolina wasn’t so bad after all.

You continued to hangout with Neil after that. He introduced you to all of his friends, made you come to his gigs, and most of his practices. You didn’t mind though. At least you had people to hangout and a place to write about. You often sat in the corner and wrote little articles about The Runarounds as if they were a famous band and you were doing a section on them in the paper. No one ever read them, but you wrote them.

You were obsessed with watching them perform. Not just because it was great writing material, but because it was everything you wished you could do. You wanted so badly to be the one on the stage and not the one behind the pen, but you knew that it wasn’t for you. You weren’t meant to perform, you were meant to write.

You didn’t even know how to play an instrument. You had tried. God, how you’ve tried. But your fingers never moved the way you wanted them to, all the chords seemed to blend together, and you never understood how strumming was supposed to work. Maybe drums would be the better option? But you have no rhythm whatsoever so that's out of the question.

You were currently sitting on the couch of Catesby’s store, listening in on the practice the guys were currently holding. You watched as they all worked together in perfect harmony. You never understood how they did it but they did. Every single time they played together. It was like they were one unit.

Maybe that’s what you loved about music so much. The feeling of being included.

“Aren’t I right?” Neil asked, pulling you from your thoughts. You hadn’t even noticed all the pairs of eyes staring directly at you, waiting for your answer.

“Ummm… about what?” You sat your journal to the side, trying to make it seem like you hadn’t been completely spaced out.

“The answer to his question is never yes.” Topher joked as he crossed his arms.

“Neil’s never right.” Charlie agreed with a laugh and a smile on his face.

“That’s not true! I’m the Buddha for a reason, people.” He said with an eye roll.

“You’re the Buddha because when you’re high you say stupid shit and people believe you.” Bez chimed in from his spot at the drum kit.

“So you’re telling me, you don’t think I could take Charlie in a fight?” Neil looked back over at you with an eyebrow raised.

“I’m staying out of it.” You raised both your arms in defense, not wanting to get caught in the middle of this hilarious fight.

“See! Even she doesn’t think you can take me.” Charlie stuck his tongue out at Neil who walked over to you while taking his guitar off from around his shoulders.

“Hold this for me? I’ve got some ass to kick.” He held his guitar out to you which you took gingerly, not wanting to break it in some way. He walked back over to Charlie who was already in a wrestling stance. You knew they weren’t going to hurt each other but you still didn’t want to watch. You had Neil’s guitar in your hands.

It had been a few years since you held one so you took the opportunity to adjust it over your lap, but your fingers on the frets and your arm draped over the top as if you knew what you were doing. That was the extent of your knowledge. You tried hard to pry at least one chord from your noggin but there was nothing there.

After Charlie and Neil stopped wrestling, neither of them being the clear winners, Neil went to say something to you but noticed the concentrated look on your face as you held his guitar like it was something precious. He glanced over at Charlie who noticed the same thing.

“Think she knows how to play?” Neil asked everyone but trying to keep it quiet so you didn’t hear. But you were too locked in to hear anything at the moment.

Wyatt shook his head, “Nope. She doesn’t know any chords. Her fingers keep moving over the frets like she wants to play something but doesn’t know anything. She hasn’t even come close to playing a correct chord yet.”

“You should teach her.” Topher said as he set his own guitar down. The boys were now huddled together, watching you as if you were a documentary show.

“Teach her?” Neil echoed.

“Yes, dude. She’s obviously interested.” Charlie sighed. How was Neil not getting this?

“In Neil or the guitar?” Bez joked in his usually sarcastic tone.

Neil turned and hit him on the shoulder. “I’ll teach her.”

The boys all seemed to come to the same agreement when Neil said that. They all turned and started packing up their stuff. Neil stood there confused and watched everyone walk away saying their goodbyes and giving him thumbs ups or pats on the back. He stood there in the silence and watched you with the biggest smile on his face. How could someone be so adorable by doing nothing?

He walked over slowly and sat down in the empty space next to you. “I didn’t know you were a professional rockstar.” He teased even though he hasn’t heard you even try to play a note.

You laughed, finally looking up from the guitar. “I’m most definitely not. I don’t even know how to play.” You tried to hand his guitar back sheepishly after being caught holding it like it was special.

He pushed it back to you, not taking it. “Well, I’ll teach you. I-if you want?”

You could feel the smile spread across your face, it was everything you’ve ever wanted. “You would do that, Neil?”

“Of course I would. Now we’ll start with the chords. I’ll teach you a few basic ones before we move on.” He scooted closer to you, close enough that you could feel the warmth from him. Your breath hitched slightly when his shoulder grazed yours. He reached over and started to move your fingers against the neck of the guitar. The moment his hand touched yours, your stomach twisted and turned from the feeling of him. He had his own feelings going through his head as he moved your hand. “Okay, this is the first chord. Press your fingers down really hard and then strum down.”

You pressed as hard as you could on the neck of the guitar before strumming but it didn’t sound right. You winced a little when the sound wasn’t what you were expecting which made Neil laugh. “Don’t laugh at me.” You turned to look up at him, not realizing his face was inches from yours and he was already looking at you.

“I’m not laughing. Just try it again. This time, don’t try so hard. Just let your thumb gently touch the strings when you strum.”

You continued to look at him for a second, lost in his beautiful eyes before turning back and trying it again. This time it didn’t sound so bad. You couldn’t help the excitement buzzing through you. You turned back to Neil who again, was already looking at you. But this time, he had something written all over his face. It seemed like a mixture of pride and… love?

Neither of you said anything but you watched as his gaze kept sweeping down to your lips. And you couldn’t lie… so did yours. You guys seemed to inch closer together before he opened his mouth again and whispered. “Can I kiss you?” Your heart stopped in your chest before you willed your head to move.

The second you nodded he leaned in and collided his lips with yours. Kissing you like never before. He parted his lips slightly, moving his mouth in time with yours. It was passionate but romantic all at once. Without even breaking the kiss, he grabbed the guitar from your hands and set it off to the side before pulling you into his lap. You made a little squeal of surprise which caused him to chuckle. Your hands started to trek up his stomach to his chest and take place there. While his hands went from your waist, up to your face, holding your cheek with one hand while the other tangled in your hair. He pulled apart from you for merely a second, to catch his breath and make sure you were actually real. Before he crashed his mouth back to yours, sighing at the feeling of this moment. Your hot breath mingled with his. He deepened the kiss impossibly more before you both pulled away to catch your breath.

He sat under you, chest rising and falling quickly to try and catch his breath. “Ya know… I don’t think you’re really going to get it all so quickly. We just might have to have more than one session.”

You chuckled as you ran a hand through your hair, trying to make it not so messy, “Are you asking me out, Neil Crosby?” You teased even though it was exactly what you wanted.

He froze for a second before nodding, “Yeah, yes I am.”

“Then I graciously accept.” You leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of his nose.

When you first got the letter, you had meant to tell Neil. It was your first reaction. So why haven’t you told him yet?

You see him every single day and there have been plenty of opportunities to come out and say that you received the acceptance letter from your top choice of prestigious schools. It was literally perfect for you and everything you’ve been working towards your whole life.

You’ve been telling yourself that the reason you haven't told Neil yet is because you wanted to enjoy summer without the dark cloud of your soon to be absence looming over everything you guys did. So you kept it underground, hidden in the dark, waiting for the right moment to say “Hey, I’m leaving in a few weeks and I don’t know when I’m going to see you next… But I’m following my dreams?”

He’d be happy for you, right? I mean he’s following his dreams to make a band with the boys. At least he’d be busy with that while you’re gone.

But what if he becomes famous and forgets all about you?

These were the kinds of thoughts that flooded your head every second of every day. You hadn’t meant to avoid Neil today. But today had been worse than the others when it came to your guilt and anxieties.

But Neil had noticed your absence. He’d called you at least 3 times and texted you triple that. But he’d just received silence on the other end. So what if he had been sounding a little off during practice today? His girl was ignoring him and he didn’t know why.

“Dude! Can you fucking figure out the rythm? We’ve been playing this song for months now. Why today of all days does your head seem to be anywhere but here?” Bez stopped playing the drums to once again yell at Neil. Everyone had noticed Neil’s off attitude, but Bez was the only one brave enough to say anything.

“Are you high or something?” Wyatt asked quietly as he grabbed his water to take a few gulps. Topher stood off to the side, not wanting to get into the middle of it all.

Neil ran an annoyed hand through his hair, “No, I’m not fucking high. Let’s just play, okay?” God, how he wished he was high right now. At least then he wouldn’t have to deal with this ache in his chest and could just attribute it to an abundance of weed. But instead it was just due to the absence of you.

Charlie took his guitar off from around his chest as Bex stood up from his drum set with flair and walked away. “Neil, like, actually what is wrong with you?” Of course Charlie wouldn’t let him run away from his stupid feelings. They may run around but he isn’t one to let Neil run away.

Neil groaned but pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening it to your guy’s texts and handing it over without a word. He watched as Charlie scrolled a little bit. Topher walked over with a water bottle in his hand and started reading over Charlie’s shoulder. That’s when Neil spoke up, “It isn’t like her to ignore me like this. I’ve heard absolutely nothing from her all day. And I know for a fact I haven’t fucked anything up recently.” He leaned his arms over the top of his guitar and looked back and forth between Charlie and Topher, hoping for any sign of hope.

Charlie hummed for a second before responding, “She’s probably just stressed about school. I mean she leaves soon, doesn’t she?”

Neil felt his heart stop, the ground beneath him disappearing, sending him into a free fall of worry and panic. You were what? And you haven’t told him yet?

“S-she’s leaving?” Neil asked confused, hoping and praying that he was losing his hearing because he couldn’t believe what Charlie had just said.

“She’s leaving for school. She got accepted into her top pick.” Charlie said like it was obvious before looking up and seeing the shock on Neil’s face. “She didn’t tell you yet… Did she?” Neil shook his head, frozen to the spot before snatching the phone from Charlie, throwing his guitar off from around his neck as gently as possible and booking down to the only place he could think to go.

He ran down to the coffee shop on the corner, the one he knew you liked to go to when things got too much in your head. A place you could go to write down your feelings. Where the music was quiet and the people were nice. Your safe haven. So he wasn’t surprised to see you in your usual spot. The booth in the back corner, with a journal opened in front of you, a pen in your hand, and a crease between your eyebrows from focusing too hard. He walked over, sliding into the seat across from you. You didn’t even notice until he cleared his throat to get your attention.

“N-Neil? What are you doing here?” You immediately set your pen down and sat up a little straighter, as if you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have been.

“Figured you’d be here. You’ve been avoiding me all day.” He looked down at you journal, not meaning to snoop but seeing his name written down a few times here and there.

“I haven’t been avoiding y-” You started to say but he cut you off before you could finish.

“Yes, you have. Don’t try to say you haven’t.” He took a deep breath, trying to gather his composure, “I know about college.” He looked at the cold coffee cup sitting next to your journal before glancing up to meet your sad eyes. You felt your heart stop beating when those words came out of his mouth. You hadn’t told him, so how did he find out? And what did he think about it? “You got into your first pick and didn’t think to tell me?”

You paused for a minute before nodding, “I wanted to, Neil. I really really did. But I didn’t know how.” You admitted as you picked up your pen and began to fiddle with it.

“For journalism?” He asked again. He remembered all the times you talked about it. How you wanted to be the best journalist out there. Not tell any lies to your readers. Only share true stories and treat them like your best friends.

You nodded again. Your throat too tight to speak. He waited a second for you to calm yourself, “You were the first person I wanted to tell.” You paused, thinking back to the day that you opened the letter. “But I didn’t want it to ruin everything.”

“Ruin everything?” He asked, confused. “Baby, you getting into your dream school for your dream career is not going to ruin everything. Sure, it’ll be hard to be away from you but… we can make it work. We will make it work.” He reached over and took your fidgeting hand. “I just wish… I wish you would have told me so I didn’t find out through Charlie.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Your eyes looked down to your journal, too afraid to meet his eyes.

“How did Charlie even know in the first place?” He squeezed your hand to get you to look at him while he asked the question.

“Well, you know Charlie’s my neighbor and I’ve known him forever. He kinda barged into my house one day and saw the open acceptance letter sitting on my kitchen table. I made him promise not to tell you but… we both know how that worked out.” You joked which made you both laugh softly and shake your heads at how Charlie is.

It was silent in the cafe for a second before Neil spoke again. “Listen… I am so fucking proud of you for doing this. You are going to go there, do great things, and be a damn great journalist. And I’m going to be there every step of the way.” He got up and sat down next to you instead. “Even when things get hard, when deadlines seem too close, when words don’t seem right, when you don’t know what to write about, when you need inspiration. I’ll be there.”

You could feel tears prick your eyes as you listened to his words. He reached up and wiped them away with the pad of his gentle thumb. “Thanks, Neil.” Your voice was shaky as you spoke but he knew you meant it.

You, Amanda, Sophia, and Bender had been planning this sleepover for months. Planning your itinerary and matching pajamas. You hadn’t expected to go this off schedule. It started by Bender asking an innocent question about Sophia and Charlie. They both like each other. Everyone knew it. Everyone. They would be so cute together. If only Sophia was able to give her heart up to someone. Someone like Charlie. Who would hold it as close as possible and not let it break. He would keep her safe. He would make sure she was loved and listened to and cared for.

That’s what you wanted. It was always hard to listen about other people’s love lives when you were stuck on the sidelines, cheering them on, but never winning your own. You just wished that some day you would find a love like that. But for now, you were stuck yearning for the one person who didn’t even realize you liked him. The one person you had known for years. The one person you had your eyes on. The person you swore was the one.

It was pathetic really. How much you thought about him. When you were listening to music and thought, "I wonder if he’s heard this song? I should show it to him.” or when something hilarious happened and you thought “I bet he’d have something wise to say right now.” or even when you’re in need of someone to talk to and you’d think “I really wish he was here right now.” But he wasn’t. Because he isn’t yours. And you need to stop thinking about him like that.

“Sophia, you need to stop being a virgin baby and start thinking with the sexual part of your brain. You are very clearly sexually attracted to Charlie Cooper! Just give the guy the satisfaction of having all this hotness.” Bender dramatized as she made random gestures in true Bender fashion.

You curled around the pillow you were currently hugging in replacement, “Yeah, Sophia, I mean… you deserve to have a sweet guy. Charlie is that for you. I think you should give him a chance.” No one could hear the longing in your voice that was very obviously there.

“Says you! You are literally in the friend zone with Neil as we speak!” Sophia said as she threw a stuffed animal at you. Her words made you pause. Has she really noticed? Has everyone noticed? It couldn’t have been that obvious… Right?

“You can’t be in the friend zone with someone who is just your friend.” You tried to backtrack, make it obvious that you were not in love with Neil. But your efforts went unnoticed.

“We all see the tension between you guys.” Amanda said as Bender and Sophia huddled with Amanda on the bed.

“The longing glances.” Sophia said in a sing-song voice. Neil’s eyes popping into your head. His perfect smile. The look he gives to you and only you. But that was just because he’s your best friend… Right? Right?!

“You like to see him onstage, don’t you?” Bender teased as she gave the other two a look. She started to stand on the bed as she continued, “You like his little dances.” You couldn’t help but think of all the times Neil had made you laugh with his stupidly funny dances. Sophia and Amanda laughed as they stood up, mimicking his dances before all three of them joined together to make fun of Neil’s singing, “And I’ll find a way. ‘Cause I’ve been wondering what it’s like…” The rest of what they sang was either gibberish or you weren’t listening because the ringing in your ears was too loud.

They really had noticed. They had figured out the puzzle you had tried so hard to keep in the box. You were in love with Neil Crosby and there was no hiding it. Nothing you could say or do now to fool them or yourself. It was blatantly apparent to you.

After they had calmed down from their giggle fit they all sat back down on the bed, “Listen, if you like Neil this much… you should tell him.” Sophia said as the other two nodded.

“Neil is a nice guy. He’s not gonna break your heart.” Amanda chimed in. She’s right. Neil would never do anything or say anything to make you feel bad or upset.

“Plus, that guy is like fucking in love with you. He is so obsessed with you that I literally cannot get him to stop talking about you no matter how much weed I give him.” Bender said in her joking but not joking voice. That made you laugh a little.

“Tell us your feelings about him? Might make you feel better.” Sophia suggested. “Whenever I have really strong feelings I write them down.”

“Yeah and then maybe Neil can steal your journal and write a love song about it too.” That made all of you guys laugh. Sophia hit Bender with the closest pillow possible.

You were hesitant at first. To say these thoughts outloud. But you finally took a deep breath and began spilling out your heart, “Neil’s just… He’s perfect. He’s so sweet. He’s never once been mean to me or made me cry. He knows everything about me and remembers little details that I can hardly remember myself. And when I see him on stage… It’s like he’s singing to just me because of the way he looks at me when he’s up there. And I just… I want to be with him all the time.”

“Verdict is in… You’re in love with Neil Crosby.” Amanda joked yet the other still nodded and hummed.

They changed the subject and allowed you to sit with your newly opened world. You were in love with Neil. It’s official. You’re doomed. As you climbed into Sophia’s bed to huddle together and fall asleep, Bender spoke softly, “Tell him.” Before turning the lights off and leaving you to stare at the ceiling with a thousand and one thoughts running through your head. You had to tell him.

You stayed awake all night listening to the sound of Bender’s snores as you formulated your non-plan. It wasn’t a plan. At all. Just something you knew you had to do. As soon as dawn broke and the girls started shimmying awake you jumped up and began speaking as fast as your mouth would connect with your brain. “I need you guys to get up and get dressed and take me down to Catesby’s. Please. I need to see Neil-” As soon as the girls heard the name they also jumped up and began getting ready. They weren’t going to stop you from the much needed confrontation that needed to happen between the two of you. It took the three of them a record breaking 15 minutes to get dressed and into the car. They seemed to be perfectly fine on the way over while you were literally freaking the fuck out in the back seat. Were you really going to do this?

Apparently you were because before you knew it your feet were dragging you up those stairs as you nearly ran into Neil who was standing near the top of the stairs. You weren’t exactly paying attention so the collision was meant to happen. The girls trailed close behind you, as you stopped and stared at Neil for a second. Nervous and afraid of what was to come. Suddenly regretting your decision.

“Woah, what’s got you so flustered? Who’s the boy?” He teased in true Neil fashion.

“You! It’s you, Neil.” You said out of nowhere. Not even registering the words flowing from your stupid mouth.

Everyone’s eyes widened as they heard you. Bender laughed as she said, “Okay… so you’re doing it.” The boys behind Neil all started to smile and smack each other playfully as they registered what was happening. It was now Neil’s turn to freeze in awe before turning around to give the guys a look. He turned back to you, searching your face to make sure you weren’t just playing some joke on him.

“I-It’s me?” He asked, just to confirm he heard you correctly.

You nodded. You would smack yourself for all this later but right now you could care less. “It’s always been you, Neil. I can’t hide it anymore. Y-You make me feel things that no one else can. I love listening to you play or sing. I love watching you paint and perform. I love when you make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe or when you just sit and listen to me talk about anything and everything. A-and I can’t go another second without letting you know that I am in love with you, Neil. Amanda, Sophia and Bender helped me realize that I’ve been in love with you for… for forever!-” You would have continued the spiel but Neil cut you off before you could say anything more.

“Y/N, slow down, okay? Take a breath.” He placed a hand on your arm to steady you as he showed an example of breathing like a normal person. He was going to wait to say something until you had calmed your racing heart a little bit but impatient Bez and Charlie started yelling things behind him like “Yo, just kiss her already!” and “He’s in love with you too!” He shook his head as he averted his eyes for a second.

“Is it true?” You asked softly, in disbelief that it could actually be real.

He chuckled, “Yeah, yeah it’s true. I love you too.” His smile sparkled as his eyes locked onto yours. He shouldn’t feel this way for his best friend but it was undeniable. He was, if not more, in love with you then you could ever imagine. And while you thought of all the things you wanted to do with him, he thought of every possible thing he could do for you. You guys were made for each other. And as you guys drifted impossibly closer to each other, like magnets that have been away from each other for too long, itching to be together. He reached up and pushed a strand of hair from your face, gently tracing your jawline before softly cupping your cheek and pulling you in as if he couldn’t wait a second longer. His lips melted onto yours softly, like you guys were meant to be like this. You don’t know how long you guys stayed kissing like that, slowly and perfectly but when you pulled away and laid your foreheads together, you knew that was it. “Will you do me the honor of allowing me to take you out? On an official date.” Neil asked softly.

Charlie felt as if his whole world was ending. Okay, even he knew that was a little bit dramatic. His band was doing fine. His family was losing their house. He wasn’t going to school. And while clearing out the basement full of boxes, digging through and finding hidden gems, he found his mothers old yearbook. When skimming the pages to find what his mother looked like, he found none other than Catesby cuddling up next to her in the picture with the caption: “Love Birds” and another one with the caption “Too Cute!” Now Charlie may not have thought he was smart enough for college but he can put two and two together. His mom had him when she was very young. Like high school age. He rummaged through another box to find his birth certificate to confirm what he already knew. It showed Unknown under the details about his father. So his dad wasn’t really his dad. He went down stairs to confront his parents, showing them the birth certificate and arguing with them for a while before he couldn't take it anymore.

He ran out of the house with no direction or idea of where to go. He ran until his legs were numb and his lungs were burning. With no thoughts running through his head except the fact that his whole family was lying to him. Somehow, subconsciously, his heart led him straight to your house. You were lounging on the front porch, engaged too heavily in the book you were reading to notice a runner on the street but when you heard a choked sob your head shot straight up. You weren’t expecting to see Charlie until later tonight. But having him standing here in front of you with red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, you immediately approached him. “Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Take a breath.” He tried to pull in enough air to form a sentence but he couldn’t do it. Instead he opted to drag you close and lean his weight on you. Sobs racked his body as you stood out in the juxtaposing sun to his rainy day.

Weakly, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer as he buried his head in your neck, hoping that the feeling of you being this close would calm him. You didn’t know what else to do but thread your fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. It worked for the most part, he stopped crying enough to be able to pull away from you a little bit to search your face. He used the back of one of his hands to wipe at his face. “I-I’m sorry. I just… I needed that.” He spoke softly as you brushed a piece of hair from his forehead.

“Don’t apologize, Char. Wanna come inside and tell me what’s wrong?” You suggested softly. If he didn’t want to you wouldn’t push him. You knew he didn’t like to talk about his feelings often and you didn’t blame him. You had the habit of doing the same. But surprisingly he nodded and followed you into your home. You grabbed him a glass of water before making your way to the living room, sitting on the couch and curling up with a blanket. He laid down across the couch, laying his head in your lap. You immediately began working your fingers softly through his hair. You didn’t want to say anything more. Rather allow him to speak on his own terms without feeling like you were forcing him to talk.

After a few beats of silence he did open up, “I-I just found out my whole life is a lie.” He paused, drawing in a breath of confidence to continue, “when I was cleaning out the basement I found my moms old yearbooks. I scanned through a couple of pages and found her with Catesby. Catesby. I knew my mom had me when she was young and I guess I kinda put two and two together. I found my birth certificate.” He sat up, pulling a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and handing it to you. When you unraveled it he pointed to the spot where it would say who his father was. Instead it just said Unknown. Your heart dropped for him. He didn’t deserve this.

“So… Catesby’s your dad?” You asked softly, afraid that it wasn’t an appropriate question to ask.

He nodded. “Yep. I confronted my mom and we got into this huge argument and I just ran out of the house. I didn’t even know where I was going until I came to your house.” That accounts for why he showed up randomly. And for the fact that he was extremely out of breath. Running that far was an insane trip.

“Charlie, I’m so sorry.” You didn’t know what else to say. I mean honestly what else was there to say to someone who just found out their dad wasn’t really their dad. He shrugged and laid back down. You could tell that his stress was turning into exhaustion. He had so much on his plate with everything going on in his life. You didn’t blame him for feeling this way. You were proud of him for being strong enough to handle it. Even if you were a little annoyed that he didn’t share things with you. But that was an argument for a different day.

After the trainwreck of Steve and Nancy, Steve hadn’t put himself out there since. Well… he tried. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to date anyone he just hadn’t met the right person yet. At this point, Steve didn’t know if he’d ever find the right person. He was working in a video store… How much lower could his life get? Or at least that’s what he thought.

“Steve! Pay attention, Doofus.” Robin yelled as she shocked Steve back from his day dream. It happened a lot recently. Not on purpose. He would just get to thinking about life. About a better life then the one he lived now.

He rolled his eyes and rubbed the spot that she had hit him with the clipboard in her hands. “Sorry if I’m not in the biggest mood to listen to your love life right now.” He strolled over to the checkout counter, leaving Robin to continue to stock the movie shelves. She had boxes surrounding her of a new shipment they had just got in. He hopped up onto the counter to start checking off movies to pass the time.

“Dude, you live a pathetic life. It’s sad to actually think about.” As she was speaking, the bell that hung on the door rang. Steve didn’t even look up to see who it was but Robin did, grinning as she knew what was going to occur.

“Are we talking about Steve’s boring life?” Dustin asked as he shrugged off his backpack and went to sit next to Steve but was shoved off so instead he opted for leaning on the counter.

“My life isn’t that boring!” Steve tried to counter but both Dustin and Robin gave him looks that told him they weren’t buying it. “Okay… so maybe my life’s a little boring. But we live in goddamn Hawkins! Who in this town has an interesting life?”

Dustin put his hand on his chin as if he were pondering this question, “Oh, I don’t know… Maybe the one with literal superpowers! Or the kid who came back from the dead! Maybe the other whose brother got possessed by a mindflayer. Or the girl kidnapped and drugged by actual Russians!” He threw his arms up in wild gestures as he spoke.

“Hey! I was kidnapped by Russians too!” Steve sighed and slumped off the counter, walking around it and setting the clipboard down under the shelf.

“Yeah, but I’m a girl.” Robin said teasingly before sticking her tongue out at him. Dustin walked over to Robin to scour through the shipment they had gotten in.

“Ya know, Steve, maybe you should just build your own girlfriend.” Dustin mumbled as his head was shoved in the box to search it. He made a little snicker before pulling out one of the movies and holding it up, “Just use some Weird Science to create your perfect girl. Both Dustin and Robin started cracking up at the stupid joke that was made.

Robin followed suit and picked up a different movie from the box, “I bet Steve thinks he’s Better Off Dead.” Robin joked before they both broke down in laughter again.

Steve rolled his eyes and tossed his arms up, “Yeah, alright. Laugh it up. Let’s laugh at the Loser Steve Harrington.”

Dustin wiped at some stray tears that had fallen loose from all the laughing, “I bet Steve wishes on all Sixteen Candles for a girlfriend each birthday.” Dustin doubled over in laughter again but Robin sat there, staring at Steve for a few seconds. Enough for Steve to notice her stare and the look in her eye.

“Hey, Robin, do us all a favor and stop thinking so much. You’re gonna kill us all.” He joked as he was going to walk into the breakroom before getting stopped in his tracks.

“Let me set you up!” Robin said excitedly.

“Oh no. No, No, No. Not happening.” Steve shook his head relentlessly. Robin started to plead even more. She popped up as Dustin followed. “Robin, drop it. Not gonna happen.” Steve said in a tone that should have shown the two that there was no room for argument. But of course they didn’t care.

“Steve, I actually think that’s a great idea.” Dustin said softly, hoping Steve wouldn’t get mad at him. He turned to look at Robin who had the biggest grin on her face. “Who were you thinking?” Robin leaned in and whispered a name in his ear. Steve watched the interaction, noticing how Dustin’s smile grew on his face as he came to the same realization Robin had come to. “Let us set you up!” Dustin pleaded as he came to stand in front of Steve.

Steve grumbled, running a hand through his hair nervously before sighing at the inevitable, “Fine. You and Robin can set me up.” His tone was defeated as he spoke. He watched as Robin and Dustin practically jumped up and down with joy. While the two were distracted with planning his date, he walked over to the movie box, bending down to dig through it. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll find my Secret Admirer.” Steve held up the movie case with the biggest smile on his face, waiting for them to laugh at his obviously amazing joke. But instead they just stood there and stared at him like he was an idiot. He threw the case back in the box before standing up and walking towards the break room while grumbling, “So it’s funny when they do it but I’m just an idiot whenever I do it.”

Robin and Dustin had insisted that Steve go on this blind date as soon as possible. So when Robin called you up asking to set you up on a date, you agreed. She had told you all the plans, the time, the day, what to wear… except who you were going out with. So until your doorbell rang that evening, you had no clue who it was. You were dressed in your finest outfit. The one you only wear on special occasions. When the doorbell rang you jumped off your couch and bound to the door, stopping just before opening it to collect your composure. When you did finally open it, you were met with the surprise of THE Steve Harrington standing on your front door with a small bouquet of flowers in hand. He looked nice, he dressed in a nice sweater and jeans, his hair done perfectly like it was what he had spent the most time on. “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Steve Harrington.” He stuck his hand out in introduction as if you didn’t know who he was. Of course you knew who he was. You’d had a crush on the guy since forever. You took his hand, shaking it while telling him your name. He smiled softly when you pulled away, “Beautiful.” He said without thinking then tried to back track. “I-I-I got these for you.” He said while holding out the bouquet for you to take.

You grabbed them from his hand gently, smelling them before saying, “These are amazing, Steve. Thank you. I’m just gonna put them in water. Feel free to come in.” You left the door ajar as you went back into the house to prepare your flowers. Steve stepped in, closing the door behind him. Taking a glance around at your home that was just so… you. He barely knew you but he knew that this place was yours.

When you had finally finished putting the flowers in water, you both walked out to his beamer. He opened the passenger door for you and closed it after you were all situated. He even let you pick the music on your way to the park. When he pulled up on the parking break and shut the car off he turned to you, “Robin said you liked parks. I-I thought maybe a picnic would be good. If not, we can go somewhere else.”

You shook your head, “This is perfect, Steve.” You both got out of the car, walking around to the trunk to grab out the picnic basket and blanket. You guys walked for a few minutes, trying to find the perfect spot and when you did you laid the blanket down perfectly before sitting down on top of it. Steve followed suit and sat down with the basket between you guys. He ruffled around inside before pulling out things like sandwiches and strawberries and other stuff Steve thought you would like based on what Robin told him. To his credit, you did like all this stuff. So you guys sat there sharing this meal and talking about all the things you could possibly think about. It was amazing how comfortable you guys felt with each other even though you just met. There was this spark between you guys that was hard to explain but you knew it meant something. And you knew he felt it too.

You guys had been there so long talking and laughing together that the sun went down without you guys even noticing. Before you knew it, the stars were out and the cool breeze was blowing. You both laid down on the outstretched blanket to look up at the stars, pointing some out whenever you thought they looked cool. Steve turned his head to look at you. Noticing the way your hair fanned out around you perfectly. The way your eyes sparkled in the moonlight. How your face lit up every time you saw something you enjoyed. The feeling that churned in Steve’s stomach wasn’t one he had felt in a long time… or at all. “Can I say something absolutely fucking crazy and you can slap me if you think I’m being stupid but I just need to say this?” He sat up, leaning back on one of his arms as he spoke. You nodded confused before sitting up too. “I think I’m falling in love with you. N-no I don’t think. Listen, I know it’s insane that I just met you today but there’s something about you that I’ve never felt with anyone. And it can’t be a coincidence that Robin and Dustin thought we would be so perfect together. And you can call me insane and never see me again if you want. But I don’t think that's what you want to do.” You could feel your cheeks heating up at his words. No boy had been that bold to say something like that to you. Ever. So to have Steve Harrington say it to you made your mind go blank and your heart beat raced. “And I know it’s crazy and insane but one day I’ll carry you home. To our home. Where nothing else matters but us.”

You giggled as you listened. You could imagine it now. The house you guys would share. The life you guys would have. “Can you predict the future?” You teased.

He smiled and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ears, “Ours, yeah.”

You couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face as you stood up. Steve watched you in awe for a minute before standing up after you. He grabbed your hand and spun you into him until you guys were slow dancing under the light of the neon moon. You laid your head gently on his chest as one of his hands held yours and the other rested gently on the middle of your back. You guys stayed like that in silence for a while before you spoke softly, “I-I’m not usually like this.” You lifted your head up to look him in his mesmerizing eyes.

“Oh, yeah? And what is ‘this’?” He asked teasingly as he continued to guide you through the small steps.

“The one who dances and falls in love with strangers they just met.” You said behind a laugh. You couldn’t help it. Even to you it sounded ridiculous.

He pushed you off gently as he said in faux offense, “I am not a stranger! I am Steve!” You laughed even more as he grabbed both your hands again.

“Steve, I know it’s crazy and insane… but I know one day you’ll carry me home. The world might think we’re idiots but I don’t care.” You said as you repeated his words back to him and added on your own twist.