Beatnik Witchery

STOP THINKING ABOUT EVERYTHING STUPID I EVER DID SINCE FIRST GRADE AND GO TO SLEEP I HAVE TO GET UP IN TWO HOURS, GAWDDAMMIT BRAIN.

Sing it, Hermy!

1. Psychokinesis. Or whatever it is that Samantha does when she twitches her nose and the house is suddenly clean. 2. It used to be the Jersey Devil but now it's MONGOLIAN DEATH WORM ALL THE WAY. 3. Alchemist John Dee, just to see if he and Edward Kelly really did swap wives because an angel told them to. 4. The Crybaby Bridge. I thought my hometown was somehow special because we had a bridge haunted by a disembodied crying baby head, but it seems a lot of small towns have some variation of that feature. 5. Roswell! At least I want to believe it's true. 6. Cats are divine beings and everyone who wants to be closer to the divine must adopt one. Any apartment building that doesn't allow cats is preventing everyone who belongs to the New Temple of Bastet from practicing their religion, which is in direct opposition to our first amendment rights. Cat lovers against the world! 7. May you live an interesting life. 8. Reich 9. Crowley 10. Anything spontaneous is fine by me. 11. Is stop copying me too obvious? Because it would totally be stop copying me. 12. Rolling my eyes and sighing a lot. 13. "This won't hurt a bit."

This really is a fantastic movie, in every sense of the word fantastic.