life in death

Hopefully you don't care too much.

Not being able to simply tell you i love you anymore. It breaks my heart.

Honestly, at this point, no. None of them are willing or ready to live a clean and sober lifestyle and thats crucial to me now.

I know God put you in my life for a reason. Ive never been with someone as independant and strong as you. You remind me so much of myself. It feels so great to know that im not attracted to you because you make me feel better about myself or because i want to help or save you from your own shittiness. Thats been such a reoccuring problem for me in the past. You are such a blessing.

Im going to 4 meetings. I need it.

Don't be okay with emotional abuse and controlling, manipulative relationship behavior. Don't use pride and ego as a facade in attempts to deflate harsh judgments on shitty lifestyles. You're lying to yourself. So what if thats how you were raised. Don't give your sons and daughters the same life you had. Give them the life that you never had. 

I think of 4 people more often than i think of anyone else. Karson, Savannah, Kay, and my momma. Some days are different but thats mainly it.