It's the Bear of both worlds

The only AI I trust is my magic 8 ball

If you cook a loaf of bread again, does that make a loaf of toast or does toast only exist if the bread is sliced?

Dr. House gives off Monocle energy. Not so much of he would wear one but that he would be worn as one by somebody else

That has got to be the worst cut jib I have ever seen

Writing little stories would be so much easier if I had the same thoughts I have in the shower as I do in front of a computer

I would steam a ham

Careful today guys. May be some pranksters out and about today

Taking Day and Nyquil at the same time to enter the forbidden part of the day

Luigi: The most aerodynamic Mario Brother

I actually was born yesterday. Thanks for asking

The cycle will soon be completed

#threeofthem

I dislike when people I meet find out I'm a #gamer and they ask me what I play. My brain goes blank and I forget every game I have ever played so I just say "Oh you know, everything." Then later when I look at my most recently played games and it's The Elephant Collection... am I to tell this person I'm a pro at finding my pink elephant wife? Like, who even knows about the greatest love story ever told?

The lion should in fact, concern himself with this new time share opportunity!

You can fix anything around the house by just adding a pipe. Sink won't drain? Pipe. Dryer won't dry? Give it a pipe. Failing marriage? Pipe? Light switch broke? Wires are pretty much just small pipes!

At Noodles and Company: I will take the company