беспонтовый пирожок

Theodor Severin Kittelsen (27 April 1857 Kragerø – 21 January 1914 Jeloya) Norway

Skogtrold ~ Forest Troll, 1899

Oil on canvas, 90 cm x 68 cm

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)