Always A Slut For Showtunes

Right back at you 🩷 Thank you. Spent my day yesterday rewatching this is us + old interviews, my heart hurts.

It is so indescribable. It feels unreal. Sending hugs back, thank you for your message 🩷

I was always a small blog, I doubt anyone will see this. I'm just so devastated and have lost touch with the majority of my directioner friends from back in the day. Feeling a grief like this is confusing, and one that comes with a sense of what feels like guilt. We are too young to be losing members of our favorite boyband. 31 years old is so young. Liam was someone who was clearly in a great deal of pain, with some deeply seeded issues he desperately needed help with, and also someone who needed to be held accountable in a big way. I am grieving the boy + young man who was such a huge part of something that was my entire life for all of my teen years and shaped me into who I am today. I am grieving the fact that he will never get a chance to turn his life around. I am grieving for those that were hurt by him, and those who loved him. I am angry at the fact that he was chewed up and spat out by Hollywood and by the adults in his life that saw him as a money making machine and weren't looking out for his best interests and didn't get him help when it was clear he needed it. I am heartbroken that he was failed so deeply by those around him and that he failed those close to him as well. The whole thing is just so fucking sad, man. Part of my childhood is gone forever. I miss this community and my hearts are with you all. I know many of us are navigating complicated feelings at the moment, but the overarching theme here is just. Profound sadness. True grief for someone we did not know well personally, but that still had such a huge impact on our lives. I don't know what to do with myself. It doesn't feel real.