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@bdrixhaettc

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can't believe they actually kissed in love and thunder
they make me emotional.
Sleep or Death - Amara/Finn Mikaelson
cw- referenced suicidal ideation? | wc - 129
~
One day, Finn stopped being stuck in the dark, it felt like he could move but also couldn't? It felt... wrong but good, if he ignored the cold he felt... fine. The world around him was tainted in shades of blue, then he saw Tatia.
No. That wasn't Tatia.
And she was staring at him in... fear? "I'm not going to hurt you. Is this... a dream?" The words should have felt rough, but they didn't.
The woman seemed confused. "Are you real?"
"As I can be, are you?" She tilted her head unsure, "I'm Finn."
"...Amara." She said after a while. "Are you dead?" She asked.
"Not quiet." He carefully. "Are you?"
"I'm not allowed to die." She whispered and didn't she look just so distraught about that?

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"You asked for bodies. Blood. It is done."
Nothing Has Changed - Chapter 8 - The Test
He held it in his open palm so the warriors at the treeline could see. The chip was small and dark, no larger than a fingernail, and the small light at its face was blinking at the rhythm of a heartbeat.
"Every Sky-person carries a marker," he said in Na'vi, low and exact. "They do not trust their own. They trust this."
A half-beat.
"The markers are hidden in the body. No two in the same place. We cannot find them all. The bodies stay here, so they cannot follow us back to Hometree."
Jake's grief is grossly under-spoken about in the fandom, and when it is spoken about, people always make him out to be the bad guy!
My boy deserves a hug and 12 hours of sleep and some fucking therapy!
it had been a few weeks after the wet season rolled in, Spider was only 14, when the ship crashed into Pandora's forest. he had heard murmurs from Norm and Max and Jake a few days prior, discussing if the ship was a threat. but it was decided that the slow moving, single, small ship was no threat. it was potentially rubble from a past operation. it couldn't hold more then a few people. and it may not even land on Pandora. the reading itself might even be wrong, the resistances tech was struggling. but there was no risk that it was RDA. so it was passed off, distantly monitored, but not a priority, especially with the increasing die off of local flora that still couldn't be explained.
Spider was out hunting, going out as far into Omatikayan territory as he could get. he had wanted to be alone. it was cold and wet, drizzling steadily, threatening to pour. perched up in a tree, balled up tight as he searched for a trail to retain his body temperature. he liked it like this. he felt... free. as rain pattered against his skin, and a steady threat of shivering trembled under his skin, while his blood remained hot in his veins.
he was looking for a yerik. and instead, he found smoke. and as he trailed closer, heart pounding, he saw... a ship.
it really was a ship. a real ship! not rubble, even in it's crashed state. not a pod. just a singular... ship.
it was smoldering though. that didn't look pretty.
and... well it didn't look RDA, Spider raised his bow, a snarl forming on his face. this was metal. this was tech. likely Earth tech. unless... well, he guesses other humanoid alien life wasn't impossible. but... he was gonna put his guess on Earth. that felt safe. just like it felt safe to assume the worst of this situation.
and that meant he shouldn't abandon it to trek all the way back to the nearest village, find some scouts, convince them to follow him, and then trek back. giving whoever was potentially inside time to scatter.
"Hey!" he called out in his accented English, "anyone in there?"
he scampered down from his perch, bow drawn, carefully prowling closer to the ship, looking for an access point, and...
well that looks familiar. enough.
he definitely recognized an airlock when he saw one. even in... port hatch form. he could thank Norm throwing random files at him to study for recognizing that.
the hatch was pointed more or less at the sky, so Spider had to climb up on the still warm hull to reach it, swapping his drawn bow for his amber blade, palming it offensively, carefully finding a handhold on the ship and scaling up the side of it, taking note that it was pretty severely damaged.
looking at the fact that it made it through several layers of dense forest growth, not to mention... space. that makes sense.
"wonder if anyone could survive that," he muses, side stepping around a pretty nasty hole that looked like it would mangle his foot if he stepped in it, "guess we'll see."
he finally reaches the door and he pounds a fist against it, "anyone in there? come out, slowly!" he demands, waiting a moment. then several. and he's about to shout again, when the hatch starts to open, and he cautiously scampers back, hissing out a warning sound.
and then... a rock? one with five legs, and living moving around in some sort of ball? peers out, humming and chirping. it seems... desperate? Spider needs to take several moments to just stare, blade still held out in it's direction, before he can even think about moving.
he was used to aliens. he lived with... well technically he was the alien. but he lived amongst a humanoid species that wasn't human. so another one wasn't... that hard. right.
except he couldn't understand this one. it's, now, screeching notes meant nothing to him.
"I... hey, I don't..." was saying anything ever worth it? Spider decides yes, because he always talked to the passing fauna of Pandora, sometimes just your tone could help a situation, "I don't know what your saying," he murmurs.
but then he really watches the.... rock.... notices it seems to be pointing inside the ship.
"you... want me to go inside?" he asks
and a delighted sound leaves the creature, and one of it's arms shakes a bit, before it rolls back inside of the ship. as if expecting Spider to follow. and... Spider had yet to see a sign of a threat, so... he does.
he quickly drops his bow to fit, and climbs up over the hatches frame, and carefully lowers himself into the ship, the airlock snapping shut behind him, but he didn't risk pulling his exopack off.
the ship was at a sloped angle that allowed him to carefully crawl down the walls and into the main area. the rock creature was rolling carefully ahead of him, still chirping and wailing. it sounded... worried? everything was dark. the ship clearly lacked power.
and then Spider saw something new and even more shocking, his hand tightening around his blade. there was a human. Spider knew he was human, on a cot, covered in a colorful blanket. he was pink and relatively him sized, and.... not good looking at all. he was skin and bones. and pale. and... shit. turning blue.
Spider only knew he wasn't dead, because he was squirming. and the rocks sounds were getting more and more concerned by the moment.
something was wrong with the ships air supply. and this human was dying. for once, Spider wishes he was carrying his spare.
and this rock was trying to talk to him, pointing between him and the human and then something on the wall. and he seemed intelligent, so Spider just starting shouting back at it.
"oxygen?" he asks, "he needs oygen! O2! is there a supply somewhere?"
the rock makes a similar sound to the sound he made when Spider agreed to follow him, and starts pointing at a lifeless... arm thing. hanging from the wall. it looked like something out of the sci-fi movies Norm would sit him in front of to keep him quiet and contained. something about the arm had oxygen...
Spider looks at it, it had a hand. so it was some sort of helper. and... the arm went up into the ceiling, but if he followed it and all it's wiring.... there. medical supplies. cool. cool cool cool.
he goes back to the human quickly. he didn't know how much longer he could go without air, he didn't know if this ship was currently full of just Co2, because it's air systems were out of juice and he'd breathed through all of it, or if Pandoran air was seeping in, and he was choking on it. but what Spider did know, was that he could hold his breath for like three minutes. so he pulls off his visor, which the rock quickly inspects.
"it's ok bud," Spider murmurs before he fully gets it off, "this is gonna help your friend, I'll be alright."
and gets it sealed over the other humans face. it's tricky getting a seal, cause he's so gaunt. but Spider manages, and gets the visor cleared quickly, causing the human to gasp. but it's desperate. he needs oxygen. like medical grade oxygen. and Spider needs his mask back. so he slings the pack from over his shoulder and presses it to the older humans chest, and turns back around, setting off back to that alcove of supplies he found.
he rummages in the weird closet thingy of bags and crates and manages to find an oxygen supply, and given a minute of tinkering and struggling, nearing the end of his own breath hold, manages to get a mask, hissing with airflow, over to the human and getting it over is face, replacing the visor, which brings an immediate air of calm over him— hah! —as he relaxes into his cot. the blue finally leaving his face.
and Spider can refit the visor back over his own face.
"ok... ok. saving a random dude, not how I expected this to go," he murmurs to himself, but it's drowned out by the rocks sounds of glee, the creature stepping around happily in his ball and waving his hands, before butting Spider's side.... affectionately? facing his faceless body towards him like he was staring for a moment, and then pressing close to the human.
"ummm, your welcome?" he offers, and gets a soft chitter back.
he looks at the human. he's blonde, like him. and there's glasses by his head. and he's wearing... a shirt that has a cat on it. and... he really looks harmless.
and his eyes are fluttering open. and then he's coughing, which his body really doesn't have the strength for. and Spider doesn't even really think before reaching out and trying to still him.
"easy, easy, you're ok," he murmurs, hands moving to the man's chest to keep him from sitting up. "you're... I'm Spider, and you're safe."
the man looks at him, "Spider?" his throat sounds horribly dry as he questions the words he's hearing. he needed water. luckily for him, Spider was carrying a water skin, he hadn't abandoned it during the climb into the ship, like his did his bow.
"ok, I have water," Spider pulls the skin forward from where it had laid against his back, "you need to hold your breath to drink, I think my air got in here, and that's pretty bad for your lungs, but you can have some."
the man stares at him a while, and the rock chirps something— Spider's going to assume that the man can... understand that? —to him, and then he's nodding and the movement of his chest stops.
so Spider peels off the mask from his clammy skin for a second, and moves the water skin to his lips. and he guzzles the water desperately until he pulls away to cough.
"better?" Spider asks, cringing at the sound, putting the mask back in place.
"better," the man replies, then opens his eyes and stills, "where the fudge am I..." he sounds less.... shocked? and more just genuinely confused. as if this isn't totally batshit to him.
"Pandora?" Spider offers.
the rock chirps. then trills. then purrs. presumably a string of words.
"shit... why are we here?" he's not talking to Spider. he's talking to the rock.
this man is talking to the rock. and Spider is trying not to find that weird cause the rock is clearly sentient and intelligent. but also... this is a mind fuck.
"wait..." the man is talking to him now, "you're a baby," he's got this... soft... endeared... mushy look on his face, "big baby, damn. I think you're taller then me. but... baby."
ok this was weird. this man also just endured an unknown period of hypoxia. so... maybe he was just delirious. Spider still backs away an inch or two.
"no no no," the man quickly corrects, "it's ok, I... thanks for helping, kid. I was just surprised that you... were one. didn't realize at first."
Spider never really liked being referred to as a kid. people usually said that in a bad way, so he huffed out a, "yup", and carried on.
"who are you?" he asked, trying to demand, not wanting to seem soft. but he couldn't really muster it against the dazed man, "and who's he," he nods to the rock.
"I'm Grace," he answers, still looking at Spider all soft, "this is Rocky."
really?
"I know. not every original. but we humans— you seem human —can't say his words. let alone his name. it's like... 45 seconds long,"
the rock— Rocky trills.
"so I called him Rocky. speaking of," he waves a frail hand at a computer laying on the ground, "hand me that. he wants to talk to you."
"talk to me?" Spider questions as he does as he's told, scampering over to the computer that's on the other end of the space, Rocky pit patting behind him slightly, before going back to Grace.
"yeah," Grace spots his prowling and smirks, "that's his translator. our crash landing seems to have knocked it shut. hopefully it's still in running condition, cause... I'm not in the condition to make a new one..." his words are getting breathy. he's tired.
Spider just. hands it over. he has so many questions and doesn't know if this... Grace. could answer them.
"and you are?" Grace asks as he taps away at the computer.
"Spider..." they'd gone over this.
"oh, right," he huffs, "sorry kid. 'm not myself. been having a... pretty rough time."
"<Yes! Grace starving!>" the computer's voice comes to life in time with Rocky's chiming, "<Grace hurt! Grace tired!>"
"yes bud," Grace hushes, patting Rocky's ball.
Spider just. stares. for a second.
"cool," is all he manages to say, "you can talk."
"<Yes! Rocky know English. Rocky is very smart, smarter then Grace! Grace smart, but Rocky smarter, statement. Rocky does not need translator! you human like Grace, you speak English, even if funny, Rocky understand!" Rocky's excited pitch makes the computers drawl seem so much more excited and... shouted, "you save Grace! thank you thank you thank you! amaze amaze amaze!"
"your... welcome," Spider finally sits, finding a perch amongst the chaotic space. it was still dark, but his eyes had adjusted, and Grace reached for a lamp that was near him, turning it on.
he needs to start asking questions. so many questions. needs to stop just staring at these two.
"who are you? not... names. who are you? and why are you here?" he forces his voice to be firm. hand moving to the blade in his hilt.
Grace doesn't look even slightly phased.
"I'm... from earth," Grace murmurs, and just as Spider's hand tightens around the grip of his knife, "but um... you don't seem to love that. so I'm going to assume the Resource Development Administrations plans for Pandora... didn't go great," he continues, before murmuring a quick, "that was really kicking off right around the time I... left... earth. I mean. the non-exploratory programs. when we were looking for energy resources..."
"yeah. I know," Spider huffed, "and no. they didn't go great. they ended with a genocide," there's a bite to his words. "your not RDA?" he asks, just to clarify. he had to be sure.
"no, kiddo. not RDA," he tries to hold his hands out in 'peace', but they hardly lift from the bed.
"<Grace save stars!>" Rocky interjects, he seemed excited. Spider likes him. "<Project Hail Mary save the stars. School teacher sent to space, find Rocky. we save stars!>"
it was strange talking to Rocky. Spider didn't know where to look. and his ear was caught between the computer voice and the trills leaving Rocky. he ended up staring at the screen more then Rocky.
"Project Hail Mary?" Spider calms a bit. letting go of his knife. there was really no reason to grab it, other then making him feel bigger, stronger then he was.
"yeah, Earth's sun was dying. amongst... so many other things," Grace explains, trying to sit up, aided by Rocky rolling under him a bit, "this ship was supposed to go to space, figure out why, and fix it. and we did. well, I sent the beetles back. earth should be getting them soon. and then our star will be ok."
"<Now we go home to Rocky's planet, Erid! we save Rocky's star. happy happy happy. we take pit-stop here, for Grace.>"
Spider squints. that's a strong coincidence. considering the two planets couldn't be close together, cause he had never heard of Erid or rock people. "both your suns were... dying?"
Grace goes to talk, but coughs again, so Spider hands him the water skin, trusting the coherent adult to water himself.
"<yes. astrophage infect all stars. astrophage eat suns. bad bad bad! but Grace and Rocky find predator! find solution!"
Spider doesn't like the mention of all stars.
"wait... is... is my star dying?" he doesn't know who to look at. his eyes darting between them, "is that why the forests are dying off?"
Grace nods, "your star is infected. if your planet is getting colder, that would cause plant death as one of the first signs."
"how do you fix it?" he demands, rising into a more rigid posture, more upright, searching Grace's face for more answers. Pandora is dying? Tswake is sick? that can't be... that can't be right. but Grace said they found a solution? "you said you found a way to fix it?"
"it's... it's a little complicated, but... if you help me, I'll help your planet?" Grace can't even haggle without looking soft and pathetic.
"help with what?" Spider is now desperate. he probably shouldn't be taking this man at his word, or agreeing to anything.
"<food food food. Grace starving. Grace cannot make it to Erid without food. Grace will die.>"
Grace deflated a bit, with a "yeah."
and Spider relaxes, cause... that was... really easy. he could get this random man food in exchange for potentially saving their planet. he just nods.
"yeah, yeah I can get you food, we're just... shit. we're really far from the main village. and none of The People are gonna help a random vrrtep in the middle of the woods in their banged up ship, so I have to track down Jake or Norm and convince them—"
Grace's head is spinning listening to the kid, who's tone has shifted into an accent he can hardly follow. he hears words that are certainly not English in there, "kiddo," he tries, but Spider keeps going.
"best case, I get you strong enough to move you close to the village first, cause I think if I handed you over to the scouts now, they might accidentally kill you, you're like. so soggy right now. and— oh shit, you need an exopack. which... that's like. a three hour trek back for that alone. and... how long do you think that air supply is going to last?"
Grace is staring at him. then shakes his head, "plenty. probably."
"<Grace!>" Rocky seemed scandalized by that answer
"Rock, I stopped being able to to math weeks ago, let alone keep stock of the ship. but I do think I should be ok... for a couple of days? there was like. plenty on board for four people. and... well i's just me now."
Spider shakes his head, not beginning to consider what that meant, standing up. collecting all but his water skin, leaving that in Grace's hold.
"I can get you food. I know what's safe to eat. we're deep enough in the woods to find nim berries and bean pods. those should be gentle on your stomach. we can figure out the rest... later. Norm would probably yell at me that you should be eating straight nutritional gloop, in this state, but I don't like the idea of leaving you here for three hours with no food and also no defense from predators, cause eventually a palukuan is going to get curious, so... we'll start with that."
Grace is just nodding, eyes flicking shut. he's murmuring something, but the hiss of oxygen from his mask is muffling it too much to be understood. Rocky sliding out from underneath him, and rolling to be more in-between his fluttering chest and his arm.
"<Grace is tired. Rocky watch Grace sleep. Eridian norm. will explain later,>" Rocky starts, "<Child return soon? add name to computer? help Grace?>"
Spider nods, "try and drink some more of that, ok Grace? and keep that mask on. make sure he keeps that on, Rocky," he can't help but fix Grace's quilt, better covering him up. Grace is clearly, not well. and he seems nice. he deserves Spider's help. before he begins moving towards the hatch, "close this behind me. I'll be back soon.. I should be quick, but I do have to start a fire and cook the pods, so... I'll be back as soon as I can"
Rocky trills an agreement, "<yes yes yes. thank you, child.>"
and Spider worked himself back through the airlock and into the drizzling rain of Pandora.
My very first tiger drawing and my latest

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Human Anatomy for Artist Unofficial Search Helper
They also have an animal one that I linked a whole back on the same site !
Avatar Premise - Deadbeat DadÂ
- Spider and Jake bond over having the same deadbeat dad.
Colonel Miles Quaritch was career military long before he went mercenary and fucked off to Pandora to be the head of Security for the RDA’s operations on the moon. The man could coach it however he wanted, about the better pay and the opportunities it would give them, but it doesn’t change the fact he left behind a wife and two toddlers, 3 years of age, on a shithole dying planet. RDA convoluted bureaucracy on top of their regular fuckery also meant those checks they were promised weren't reliable, in spite of the fact they were listed as the Colonels’s dependents, so the kids and their mom had to struggle. Then the divorce long distance, leaving their mom in the lurch. Things didn’t change for the small family until she met and married Sully and the kids took on his name.
Jake grew up to resent their absent father, the so-called hero who cared more for his squad then he ever cared to be a father and husband. Thomas was more lenient in his attitude, believing he had good reasons for his choices. Jake accused him of having a soft heart for a man that did not deserve it.Â
When Thomas declared his intentions to apply to the Avatar program, Jake knew at least part of his reasoning was for the hope of reuniting with their father, regardless of the justifications Tommy actually tried to give. His brother had a lot of hopes and dreams, not all of them related to the scientific discovery and the wonders of the alien moon. In the end, Jake is glad Thomas never got to meet the man in person, he would have been devastatingly disappointed.Â
Jake hates the man, but a part of him also yearns for what could have been, which is why he lets himself be taken in by the guy's charismatic presence and charm. At least until Jake realised he was just being used, a means to an end. There comes a time when he has to make a choice, cling to what could have been or live with what is. Jake’s beef with Quaritch was always personal. He never attacked him, but when Quaritch went after him he defended himself.
Quaritch doesn’t find out about the reason for the personal beef until Recom Quartich has Spider, and the kid is a lot less receptive to Quaritch overtures.Â
“You are and always have been a deadbeat dad. Why would I trust you’ve changed a pattern that has held for over 30 years just because you are blue now? You tried to kill your kid. Multiple times. You held a knife to your own grandkids. And I am supposed to trust you care just because I’m pinkskin?”
y’all better watch tf out.
CORUCAFSS: Case no 9877882 (Jango Fett v. Jedi Order)
By Zirakinbar
On Archive of Our Own
Status: Complete; 12,391 words; podcast available
Summary: Jango Fett marries Shmi Skywalker and decides he’d like his step-son back from the Jedi, thanks very much. Obi-Wan Kenobi would much prefer if the notorious bounty hunter could stop stalking his Padawan. Maleena Wendin, of Coruscant’s Children and Family Support Services, just wants this whole mess off her desk. (Could Mr. Fett please clarify what he means by “the Jedi taking a nine-year-old into an active warzone”? No reasonable adult would – oh. Oh no.)
My thoughts: Idk if this qualifies as crack exactly but it sure as hell is pretty funny. Shmi is absolutely amazing. The poor OC tho having to work with these guys lmao.
Undead wanderer Quincey P Morris, Bram Stoker can come fight me

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Holiday Sales - Bookshop.org
Heya, folks! So, if you aren't familiar with bookshop.org, it's an online book retailer. Generally, any purchase you make there goes towards independent booksellers (you can pick one!) and the author. Sometimes, you can buy through an affiliate, and the bookseller commission goes to them.
I have an affiliate code! I would like some spending money myself, and purchasing via my code does not cost you extra. I've imported the 2025 holiday gift guide to my own 'storefront,' and will continue to do so as they release more guides. I also have some older lists on my storefront, so that's fun!
You can also go through their genre lists and then come back to my affiliate storefront to actually purchase. Or you can pick a local bookshop to shop from instead of me, I'm not your mom.
From the site itself:
We’re offering 15% off the entire gift guide with the code Gift25 until Tuesday, November 18!​
2025 Holiday Gift Guide - Suggested by the Site
and other lists on my storefront.
Aaaaaaand the ones I personally curated:
Nonfiction - Fashion
Nonfiction - City History and Planning
Nonfiction - Other
Fiction
Trade Paperbacks
Remember to use Gift25 on anything you can, and please shop via my storefront if you feel like supporting me in my endeavors to move out of my parents' house.
Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker | illustrated by Terry & Rachel Dodson