along tides of light;

“Haunting the narrative” but it’s the procedures at your job the person before you put in place

love pickles. a little pickle never killed nobody. Unless you’re in one. Then shit ain’t funny.

Scrolled came back read it again and cried laughing

Thank you for giving me another chance

affirmations for writers: i know how to write. i have seen sentences before, and i know how to make one. i can identify up to several words and their meanings. i am not afraid of semicolons.

I know they're named after him but for reasons I can't fully articulate it's hilarious that the guy who invented zeppelins was named Ferdinand von Zeppelin

Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin literally sounds like the joke name someone would make up if they didn't know the actual answer

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

just pirate it?? ZA/UM fired the developers and fucked them over, so you arent supporting the people who made it.

hey man if you read the post i made you might find out something really cool but im not gonna say what because i don't want to spoil it

My favourite part of writing professional emails is sending them and immediately running over to my "sent" folder to check I did in fact write "Yeah, I can make a 3 PM meeting" and not "I think you're a big stupid piece of shit and I fucked your wife" somehow

friday 13 you know what that means

the killer

i dreamt of a house with too many rooms, which sounds lyrical and all except most of them were just full of different kinds of couch

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

*flies past*