I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

Part of an art trend I like to think of as “We’re terrified we might get treated the way we treat them”.

i can tell when the edible starts to work when i start z-targeting shit irl

toddler started playing a game a while ago where he points at dad and says "you're [toddler]. I'm Dada" and then they roleplay being each other. I gotta say. the schadenfreude, the absolute satisfaction, when toddler says "eat your hot dog" and dad says "no! I want a lot!!" (imitating what the toddler does when he refuses to eat unless he is given a GIANT PILE of food, which he will eat approximately 5% of) and toddler says "you can have this" (exactly what we say to him in this situation) and dad says "I WANT A LOT!!" and the toddler tries to think of a way to convince him and says "EAT IT!!" with visible frustration. exquisite. incredible