I'M SEMI-AUTOMATIC

Then I’ll stop by later and drop everything off. You’re doing me a favor, honestly. Less for me to eat, less for Finn to slip my dad when I’m not looking. You’ll have to let me know how they go over with Beth and Sarah.

We’ll go over to our parents’ tomorrow and have a quiet Christmas. Which, to be entirely honest, is all I actually want after the past couple of weeks. Do you have any plans aside from quiet time at home?

You could stay for a few minutes and find out yourself, if you wanted to. The girls’ll be home, and I’m sure Beth is gonna love you. She likes pretty boys.

Well, I stress baked my life away, so while it won’t live up to the Rachel Berry standard, I’ll happily give it away so I don’t eat everything in one sitting like I’m prone to doing, if you’re a fan of cheesecake. And peanut butter brownies. And…no bake cookies. There’s also a pie in the oven. Anyway, if that will contribute to your Hanukkah festivities then I will happily pass it all onto you guys.

Just send an address my way and I can drop off whatever.

Oh yeah? My address is xxxx brookpark rd, lima oh, 45801. I ain’t ever gonna say no to sweets, even if they ain’t Rachel Berry style. Thanks, Hummel.

That’s damn exciting. How old is Beth? I’m not sure of you heard or if you have any super fun Hanukkah plans, but I’m throwing an unofficial shindig at my place on the 26th full of pizza and booze, probably. I also really wanted a Harry Potter marathon but nobody seems like they’re a fan of that so maybe I’ll save that for my own but, like, that’s a possibility. 

Those guys are the worst. Especially at night. That can cause car accidents which is super lame.

Beth is six -- she acts like a 15 year old boy though, so she’s pumped for the food and the presents. A shindig sounds pretty rad though -- we could probably make it. Sarah might have some stupid shit with her boy-toy, but her ass can find a way to his house if she’s gonna miss out. Pizza and booze rocks, so you can count on me bein’ there. I don’t get why people don’t want HP though? Wizards and shit are cool.

Hanukkah starts tonight, so shower me in gifts and good foods, friends. Or at least Beth. This is the first Hanukkah where she will actually understand what the fuck is going on, so I’m pumped to get the festivities started. It’s just me and the girls, so if anybody wants to chill throughout the next eight days, there will be presents and food at the Puckerman household.

RACHEL: I think that was the most words you've ever said to me at once.

[..........................................]

RACHEL: someone proposed to me

RACHEL: and i said no and ran back to lima and then you were shot and finn left and kitty's been weird for months

RACHEL: and nobody is ever going to want to marry me for real so why didn't i just say yes? i could've been in new york and had everything i thought i wanted in high school but i don't want it anymore, i can't

RACHEL: and i couldn't just hightail it away and not look back and i knew that's what i would've had to do and i couldn't do that

RACHEL: and i do trust you, noah

RACHEL: even in high school and especially now

PUCK: ...oh wow

[.........]

PUCK: first, i just want to say: kitty has always been weird

PUCK: sec, finn came back, ...in a way sorta

PUCK: three, rachel, you are absolutely going to get married someday to some guy who really loves you and can stand it when you do those stupid ass runs for 25 minutes straight and then start over cos one note was flat out of the whole thing; and he's gonna think you're fucking great at everything you do and appreciate your baking. and you're gonna go to new york and get the fuck out of ohio, and you're gonna live happily ever after, because if anybody around here is gonna do that shit, it's gonna be you. you're young, rach, and you're pretty, and smart, and jewish, and you smell nice. You're a catch. Anybody who don't get that really is a idiot

PUCK: whoever it was was right in proposing to you, rach. too bad they sucked ass (and not in the fun way) other wise you woulda dropped us in a heart beat.

PUCK: I can't believe you've been keepin it to yourself for this long???

PUCK: God this is so many words. Why the fuck.

RACHEL: You're not stupid. Or an idiot.

[...]

RACHEL: It's not that I don't want to tell you.

RACHEL: It's just that I haven't told anyone. And part of me doesn't want to so I can try to forget it ever happened.

PUCK: Listen

[...]

PUCK: I know I wasn't the coolest dude in high school -- well, scratch that, because I totally was --...to /you/ at least, and yeah, I've got a lot of marks on my record. I've hurt a lot of people and I'll probably hurt more people in the future because that's what guys like me do.

PUCK: But since we've started working together, have I done anything to make you not trust me? I have kept a hell of a lot more from people than you know.

[...]

PUCK: What I'm sayin is: I like you, Rachel, I do. So if you wanna forget whatever happened, I don't give a shit as long as you don't hightail it out of here the first chance you get.

PUCK: I'll miss you [UNSENT]

RACHEL: Puck...

PUCK: I might be stupid, but I ain't a idiot

PUCK: But I can't make you do anything you don't wanna do, Berry

PUCK: I can't

No, sir. I didn’t fall for your thirst trap. Not this time.

Good luck with it. I’m sure somebody will slide into your DMs.

As good looking as you are, Hudson, we just ain’t compatible that way, you know? 

RACHEL: Oh

RACHEL: Nobody?

RACHEL: If I had said yes to the siren call of my heart?

PUCK:...