softly (don't)

I have yet to see a single anti call out any of this behavior. Not one. Because there’s the implicit belief that we deserve it.

I will not forget these last few weeks the next time an anti complains about shippers not calling out our own for problematic behavior.

originally it didn’t matter because it was just made-up terms like fedora and dudebro but the new word people are throwing around is ‘pedophile’ and it’s like

you stupid assholes, you fucking blithering morons, that’s an important word, you fucks. We need that word. It is a crucial word to immediately and forcefully communicate that someone is a danger to children.

but because it’s such a harsh, powerful word idiots on tumblr took to throwing it at people for having Bad Cartoon Opinions or just personal distaste and as a result it’s now devalued and that’s the fucking worst.

OH MAN. You got me. That’s hilarious. I’d have a good, long laugh about it if I didn’t have to help my mother – her spine is twisted from all the beatings my father gave her and she can barely walk some days. Like today. But I’ll be sure to tell her that people on the Internet are selling T-shirts implying that her experiences are exactly the same as people writing stories about the desert girl and that emo guy she didn’t like in TFA kissing! SO HILARIOUS. She’ll love it. If she’s conscious through the pain meds.

I find it to be completely unfair that you feel you can’t participate in something you enjoy out of fear of being victimised for shipping something. I’m genuinely sorry that this has been your fandom experience. I know there are a lot of Kylux blogs out there who very much disagree with the an/ti rhetoric, so if you wanted to reach out to some people then the notes of this post I made might be useful as a place to start? 

I find that a large number of aggressively an/ti Reylo Kylux shippers have often lost sight of the fact that a lot of the an/ti arguments used to demonise Reylo can be turned around to apply to Kylux just as easily. Kylux shippers will scoff and brush off the idea that we’re all enormously racist just for shipping white characters, but in the next breath they will turn around and accuse Reylo shippers of the exact same things. It’s hypocritical in the extreme. 

The level of sexism and internalised misogyny in the an/ti community is worrying. The reductionism of Rey’s character to purely her negative experiences in relation to Kylo is particularly worrying. Ant/is absolutely refuse to let Rey have any form of identity outside the fact that she is a victim of Kylo, completely ignoring everything else about her character in order to push their rhetoric. When abuse survivors, especially those who ship to cope with their own experiences, see this, they’re essentially being told that the only thing that matters about someone is their negative experiences. This has the capacity to be enormously damaging. 

Abuse in same sex relationships and male victims of abuse are enormous issues that are generally glossed over or ignored in society, and yet despite this Kylux shippers get a free pass whilst Reylo shippers are vilified because Rey is seen as needing “protection” because she is a woman (despite the fact that she kicked his whiny ass). An/ti blogs are dead set on this idea of fiction and fandom influencing reality, so surely this glossing over of the issue in fandom will lead to an increase in abuse in same sex relationships in real life? Isn’t that how this works by their logic? 

Rey doesn’t matter to the an/tis. The only reason they care about her is so they can use as her as a prop to demonise other people, or use her to score social justice points by shipping her with someone less “problematic”. This kind of reduction of a complex female character to a prop reeks of misogyny. On top of this, the an/ti tags are constantly full of horrifically sexist posts such as this: 

A very large number of kylux shippers are members of the queer community themselves. A lot of people ship kylux because they themselves are members of the queer community and find it easier to identify with villain characters as these characters are often the ones who are queer coded and are transcendent of “socially acceptable” norms.

On top of this a lot of kylux shippers are mentally ill, and once again it is often the “villain” characters who are coded as being mentally ill and neurodivergent etc, (especially kylo ren). Saying that all kylux shippers are “homofetishists” is dismissive and incredibly offensive. I’m fairly certain that the poc kylux shippers would also have a problem with you deciding that they’re all racist.

my conclusion that “all” kylux shippers are racist and homofetishizing deals with the fact that in fandom culture on tumblr (particularly, but not exclusively white, cis, straight people) flock to non-canon ships consisting of white men. and a lot of these non canon ships have rabid followers that are threatened by any other character that comes along that is going to “compete” with that ship, often at the expense of female characters, (eg. stucky shippers vs. sharon, sherlock/watson shippers vs. mary, to name a couple). that’s obviously not the case in this situation but that’s why i’m suspicious of any poplar non-canon white m/m ship, so that’s my problem 

but regarding that, a lot of the kylo/hux shippers that i’ve seen have zero regard, or a dislike of stormpilot. which rubs me the wrong way because john boyega is a black man and oscar isaac is a latinx man, and their characters have more onscreen evidence toward an eventual canon relationship than kylux in which the actors are both white. though, i haven’t seen kylux shippers who also ship stormpilot i don’t doubt they exist. 

i’ve been bitter toward fandom in general for a long time because of racism and sexism that is so prevalent so i generalize. when i say “all” of course i don’t mean all, but fandoms like to take generalizations as a direct attack for reasons due to being called out on their wrongs or their insecurities or whatever.

i’m not trying to stop anybody from shipping it, i’m just stating what i feel and i don’t really care if someone think differently (which i’m sure you feel the same way)

so other than that, i appreciate that you didn’t tag me in this, 

A very large number of kylux shippers are members of the queer community themselves. A lot of people ship kylux because they themselves are members of the queer community and find it easier to identify with villain characters as these characters are often the ones who are queer coded and are transcendent of “socially acceptable” norms.

On top of this a lot of kylux shippers are mentally ill, and once again it is often the “villain” characters who are coded as being mentally ill and neurodivergent etc, (especially kylo ren). Saying that all kylux shippers are “homofetishists” is dismissive and incredibly offensive. I’m fairly certain that the poc kylux shippers would also have a problem with you deciding that they’re all racist.

tell me reylo shippers, what is it about kidnapping someone and then forcefully invading their mind to find something that will help you destroy what they stand for that you guys find so romantic? maybe none of you understand what consent it. 

first of all, he bloody kidnapped her. that’s just not something you do when you want to get a girl. that’s scary and illegal, but oh he’s a hot white guy so it’s fine :)))

second, id like to ask, would you like it if someone went through all of your personal belongings without your consent? thinking they could take whatever they want? no probably not. what kylo did to rey was an emotionally traumatizing thing. invading her thoughts by force (pun fully intended) and basically torturing her. how is that romantic in the slightest. it’s violating and evil.

and finally he was searching for information in rey’s head to use it against her and the resistance, which was something that she believes in. if someone were to destroy what i believed in i don’t think id want to be in a relationship with them. 

Approximately 0% of shippers care about your unnecessary opinion. Approximately 0% of people trying to mind their own business in the kylux/stormpilot/finnrey tag want to see your opinions in their tag when they are neither relevant or necessary.