Flipping Through the Archive

Photo one: One of several smiley face water towers in Illinois! This is the one in Atlanta, and I was so excited to see it. Luckily there wasn’t much traffic that morning, so I was able to lean over from the passenger seat and take this picture. Tiny joys in life like soft serve and smiley face water towers make my world go ‘round. 

Photos two and three: Both of these photos are near Stevenson Hall at Illinois State University. I took them the day after the white supremacy riots in Charlottesville. I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the news and I just needed to stop thinking, take a deep breath, feel my feel on the pavement and look at the flowers. I posted them on my Instagram to remind people to take care of themselves during a heavy news cycle. 

Photo four: This was taken in Frankfort, Ill. during my cousin’s graduation party. He had it at a really nice barn with catered food and an open bar. It was a very beautiful night. Big open skies and greenery no matter where am I are enjoyable. Even when I’m around rich, entitled 17-year-old boys. I just drank my Corona and didn’t care. 

MIX

What I Want - Anna Burch

Easier - Grizzly Bear

Bluish - Animal Collective

Perth - Bon Iver

///This dream isn’t feeling sweet We’re reeling through the midnight streets And I’ve never felt more alone It feels so scary, getting old///

I love taking pictures of people close to me. I like when they pose and feel special for a few shutters of a camera. I find myself scrolling through my phone for photos of me WITH my friends, but usually find only portraits.

Graduation is in 42 days, and I don’t know where I’m going to be living or working within the next two months. Frankly, I don’t know if a major life decision will happen two weeks from now. I’m trying to live in the moment for these remaining days of undergrad. Walking through campus alone, I stop in my tracks to observe my surroundings. I plant my feet firmly on the sidewalk to increase my self-awareness; my ability to feel and stand tall. I look at several spaces on the quad and see myself rushing to classes with headphones in, enjoying a newly-released album that’s old news today. I think about the problems I had then, and how I grew from them. I think about the hot days, the cold days, the crisp fall days. The laughs, the tears, the angry phone calls and grins from peers.

These three people are incredibly important to me. When I graduate, I don’t know what proximity we’ll be from one another. All of our futures are unpredictable, if I’m being honest with myself. I’m happy I have these photos to look at whenever I want to remember these happy, blissful moments.

Photo One: Hannah Williams. Best friend. Artist. > Cape Cod, MA, 2017

Photo Two: Alexa Johnson. Roommate. Writer. > Museum of Fine Arts > Boston, MA, 2018

Photo Three: Samuel Wood. Lover. Broadcaster. > Alley-Bi Saloon > Lincoln, IL, 2017

Hannah and Alexa and I are graduating college in May. We’re best friends and we have been for ten years. Alexa and I have lived together for three years, and our Hannah has been getting her degree at Boston University. The distance wasn’t detrimental to our bond. We were able to visit Hannah twice during her time there. Through breakups, self-discovery, mental health problems, family crises, high school, our middle school emo phases, (that never really ended) concerts, bonfires, train rides, long talks in our cars, school dance photos…we grew together. Our degrees in English, journalism and art history can take us anywhere, but I don’t want us to be too far apart.

Sam is a 26-year-old heartthrob. I absolutely hated him (in an endearing way?) when we first met. I was mad that I was intrigued by him. I’d walk into his house, look at him and say, “What am I doing here?” He’s a working man in Bloomington, and I am obviously about to enter the workforce myself. I don’t know where I’m going to be hired, and I don’t want to leave him behind. I feel a sense of grief thinking about leaving him here while i go work somewhere else. He tells me to follow my dreams and that he’ll follow me and figure it out…but life isn’t always that simple. We haven’t been together for too long but he makes me so happy. He makes me feel human, valid, loved, important, and…happy. He’s so humble, giving, nurturing… I miss him so quickly. I didn’t see him for ten days during my winter break and there were days we just felt torn to pieces without each other. I need his calming aura, his hugs and his soothing voice. I hate that I’ve always been told to do my thing and never worry about boys…but damn y’all this boy is different. We have something special.

Mood:

Ribs—Lorde 

Walcott—Vampire Weekend

Lit Me Up—Brand New

The Predatory Wasp in the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!—Sufjan Stevens

Grassroots Activism in Illinois and My Lens

I took the above photos at seven different rallies and protests in Kankakee, Ill., Bloomington and Normal, Ill., and Springfield, Ill. from 2016-2018 as both a member of the media and an American citizen. Folks attended each rally for a different reason, motivated by different social issues.

The pink glove on the fence and the “It’s a man’s world..” photos were taken at the Women’s March in Springfield on the anniversary of President Donald Trump’s inauguration. There were rallies across the nation this day, with 600,000 people turning out for Chicago’s march in Grant Park. The purpose of the Women’s March, especially in Illinois’ state capital, was to push for registered voters to vote women into office for the upcoming election. Speakers included poets, singers, Illinois Comptroller Susana Mendoza, State Sen. Andy Manar and a young girl that identifies as a Dreamer through the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA).

I attended this rally as an Illinois resident, not on behalf of a media outlet. During this rally I particularly paid attention to the intersectionality and representation of ALL women. Black, white, Latinx, Arab, disabled, LGBTQIA+, undocumented, Asian, refugees… A Women’s March shouldn’t focus on just the white agenda, which usually compromises of equal pay and abortion. There are so many conversations we should be having on behalf of all women. My expectations rang true, and the rally was amazing. I felt empowered with my friends, and I was satisfied with the turnout of a smaller rally. Representation was missing during the Women’s March after the president’s inauguration, and I think a conscious effort to fix that was achieved.

The third photo of a young boy holding a multicolored sign was taken after a rally hosted by the Not In Our Town chapter in Bloomington-Normal, which works to ward off hatred and racism and create a welcoming environment for people of color in the twin cities. The sign the boy is holding reads in English, Spanish and Farsi. It says: “No matter where you’re from, we’re glad you’re our neighbor.” This sign was created and distributed following the president’s travel ban he imposed toward the beginning of his presidency that restricted travel from several majority-Muslim countries. Several members of the Bloomington City Council, Illinois State and Illinois Wesleyan University professors, and other prominent activists spoke to a packed audience at the Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts to declare Bloomington a safe, welcoming city for families of all backgrounds regardless of action on the federal level.

>Light bulb series<

The first and third photos were taken at a small, homey craft beer and wine shop in central Illinois. The bulbs were in the bathroom, and I believe I went to the bathroom to take a breather because I get nervous when I hang out with my boyfriend’s friends. They’re super nice, but they’re the kind of people that are so chill you feel uncomfortable about laughing at something too loudly. Ya feel?

I did not expect the photos to turn out like this. I only took them on my iPhone 7+. I own a Nikon Coolpix, but I rarely carry it around with me anymore. When I tapped the camera screen to darken the background, the wires and fibers in the light bulbs became pronounced in a way I’ve never noticed with my own eyes. These photos were essentially an accident, since I just tapped around my screen to see what kind of lighting and focus the phone would provide.

The second photo was taken at a restaurant that’s attached to a hotel in Bloomington, Ill. I zoomed into the bulbs from my bar stool and was, again, surprised at how it turned out. It’s pretty remarkable to me that a phone can darken the environment around the bulbs so precisely.

When I find little beauties like these, I get so excited to post the photos on Instagram and add them to my collection of random snapshots I didn’t expect to take. Picture-taking is soothing for me and I enjoy looking back at these minuscule accomplishments.

All photos are mine. This blog should be fun.

Each post will have a short playlist of songs I associate with the photos that set the mood.

1. Up All Night - The War On Drugs https://open.spotify.com/track/3U9HrZM2sAZhqdSvZMj2oq

2. Born To Lose - American Football https://open.spotify.com/track/2HknmdrR1COGOWlpTFq2nl

3. Springfield, or Bobby Got a Shadfly Caught in his Hair - Sufjan Stevens https://open.spotify.com/track/1TYlZJWUNAJFXeF8FbPRIp

4. Pendulum - FKA Twigs https://open.spotify.com/track/06d5qOLownLafrcQ8CvZU2