rosebay reads

i really enjoyed reading this manga! i was immediately excited to see a trans protagonist, and one that was starting his own fashion line! the concept alone was just really exciting to me. i also appreciated how painful being closeted can be, and how angry it can sometimes make you feel. 

i wanted to like this book so much more than i actually did. i really struggled at the beginning to understand what was going on with all the terminology, and even was unclear with some of the words at the end of the story. (i didn't realize there was a glossary until i reached it). while i do appreciate being thrown into the story, it felt like i was a little TOO thrown in, and i struggled to follow what was being said since so much was mechanical. meaning that it wasn't really important to the story, just triz's job.

i also wanted so much more background on the characters and cultures of this universe. while i ended up with an idea of what was going on by the end, i wanted a more in-depth exploration, because i think it really is incredibly interesting. i wanted to see more of what made this world work and actually SEE more of the relationships between the characters. i'm not sure if i ever entirely bought the relationships, although i very much wanted to.

also as a tiny note, i was disappointed that (if my memory is correct), all the explicitly trans and nonbinary characters were so minor. the fact that we never see nantha onscreen was such a disappointment—it felt like she really should have been an important character as well. i also wish that there had been MORE of the polyamorous aspect in this book, since romance really was on the backburner of this novella in my opinion.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Although Norma is a trans woman who uses she/her pronouns, she asks Jorge and Caesar to continue calling her ‘dad.’ Additionally, while I am not a trans woman, I am a nonbinary person of color. I can relate to Norma on certain levels, but want to acknowledge that I do not have her experience and ask that you read reviews by other trans women, particularly trans women of color, for more detailed opinions that trump my own. 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of transphobia, deadnaming, misgendering, and racism. 

I had a very hard time writing this review, because ultimately, this is a book that attempts to deal with many many MANY issues, but ends up resolving almost none of them. It left me feeling as though the story wasn’t completely finished, or the author didn’t know how to resolve the situations that had been created. Because of this, I really didn’t know what to say. Or I went back and forth between having too much to say, and risk spoiling the entire book. 

Reading this was difficult. And eventually, I came to this conclusion: this book is a book about a trans woman, written by a cis people, from a cis character’s point of view, for a cis audience. It’s so binary. And there is a genderfluid character but…most of this book sticks so strictly to a gender binary. Even the comic plotline, where there’s a “trans superhero” (I am REALLY tentative about calling the character trans) is so binary. 

The idea that being a woman makes you more open to emotions and willing to work out issues through talking than physical conflict… And that changing depending on what gender the superhero is? It made me personally really uncomfortable, as well kind of sexist. These traits have nothing to do with gender and everything to do with socialization and the society we live in, as well as our own personalities.

And while I believe there is a place for stories like this, about cis kids understanding their trans parents, I do not think this is this book. The amount of misgendering Norma goes through in this book made me feel physically ill at times. Even Jorge, who accepted Norma much faster than other characters, misgendered her for such a huge majority of the book. It took him so long to use the correct pronouns. And other characters went the entire book without gendering her properly. 

So much of this book presents Norma’s coming out as something she “did” to her family. The characters ask how Norma could do this to them. It talks about how difficult it is for them to get through. But at the same time, it never really explores how hard this is for Norma. How being rejected by her family feels (which is in part very confusing and I won’t get into this review due to spoilers but the whole thing with Jorge’s mother is really confusing to me), the violence she faces as a trans woman of color. AND WE SEE THIS! We SEE Norma face transphobia head on!! Jorge sees it! And it’s only brought up like two times and is never really explored beyond that! 

Also frustrating was the fact that there is a gay uncle who is just there randomly to be gay and have no character or arc other than ‘hey he’s gay’ and only show up/be mentioned like twice. And there’s a genderfluid kid in Jorge’s grade/class who also has no character and essentially exists to be bullied, explain what being genderfluid is, and be a very stereotypical nonbinary character. Now that isn’t to say nonbinary people like Noah don’t exist, but when you only have one nonbinary character, and they don’t have much of a character, it feels incredibly stereotypical. Neither of these two characters are CHARACTERS. They feel like they were put here so the author could be like “See! More non cishet characters!” opposed to fleshed-out people with like. Personalities. 

But stepping away from the portrayal of trans and non straight people in this book. The comic plotline felt so underdeveloped. It felt like it was constantly getting lost in the shuffle. I didn’t really care for the attempt at the love triangle, but I suppose the romance was sweet. I HATED the reason the romance fell apart which I will not get into because spoilers but it annoys me. Racism (Jorge and Caesar are half Mexican), racial profiling, and transphobic violence, specifically TOWARD WOMEN OF COLOR, one of the most vulnerable portions of our population, are touched upon but never explored really in-depth. The relationship between Jorge and Caesar felt like it needed more time and the ending… I get the real world isn’t perfect but for a middle grade novel especially it felt so bleak. Realistic, maybe, but not only did it feel incomplete and unsatisfying, it made me wonder what the point of going through all this really was. 

Look, at some point this book made me cry genuine tears. I think it was during a conversation Norma and Jorge had. It had a few moments I enjoyed. There was a chance this book could have been good. But it tried to tackle a million things both major and minor (like did we need a comic contest AND a talent show?), and ended up falling so flat. Parts of it felt slapped together haphazardly. If a cis author wants to write about trans people, that’s fine, but I do not think this was the way to go about it. I think more sensitivity readers were needed at least, because so much of this felt so insensitive and was so painful as a nonbinary person to read. And if this is meant to be a way to help cis kids who are around Jorge’s age understand trans people and the struggle of being trans, I absolutely do not think this is the way to go about it. 

Instead of buying this book, I suggest donating the money you would’ve spent on it to support trans people of color instead. A few charities to look at include the Transgender Law Center, the Lavender Rights Project, the Trans Woman of Color Collective, INCITE!, and the Sylvia Rivera Law Project. (Note, I have not researched these organizations in-depth, and always recommend researching charities before donating!)

This story is an easy and fast paced read that I couldn't put down. Ora's determination and strength as a character, as well as her devotion to her brother, were powerful, especially set against a world that saw her as nothing but a servant. The world is complex—perhaps a little too complex at times, as I never felt like everything was properly explained to me—and grabs you. The bit of politics and religion we got to see were really interesting, and I hope they'll be explored more in the future. I enjoyed a lot of the side characters, some of my favorite characters were side characters who felt like they were gone too soon, who I hope will be showing up in future books. Ora and Tyg's contrasting POVs were intriguing, especially with Tyg's ruthlessness.

At times, it seemed like there was a little too much exposition, or the plot twists were a bit too obvious, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I think the ending happened maybe a bit too fast, a little more set up for some of the events would have been appreciated and things felt like they wrapped up at lightning speed, but I still greatly enjoyed reading them.

we're starting with the things i liked because that's easiest. i did end up liking the conflict with the powers that be. i wasn't sure how deep that line would go, so i appreciated where it went and the characters' reactions to it. without going into any spoilers, i thought that aspect was really interesting and THAT was a part of the story i really liked and wished it hadn't taken so long to get to. (the resolution i'll talk about later) i liked how the hazels were so different but similar, but maybe that's because i'm in a child psych class and interspersed reading this and reading about how we develop from our environment as well as genetics. i liked the hazel dynamics! i thought they were a fun group and got attached to them very quickly. i thought how the magic weapon came about was interesting. and, hey! dragons are fun! the sexuality rep was pretty good, and there were some funny lines and moments!

but also.. there were so many frustrating moments where it was just...an exposition dump. both the reader and hazels have information hidden from them for so many pages and then it's just all revealed because ??? we're given a reason, but i personally didn't find it satisfying, and it made hazel prime passive for a huge chunk of a story where she was meant to be becoming MORE active after a life of passivity. i'm ALL for passive characters, but the way hazel's active- or passiveness was handled became frustrating. i think it just fell a little too much into the telling over showing for me. it also made the pacing feel really uneven. the first 2/3rds were really rough in that regard for me, while the ending really picked up the pace and i found to be the most enjoyable part.

also i think this was an attempt to subvert the "chosen one" trope, but it fell flat to me. while i truly did enjoy a lot of the anxiety scenes around the concept — the clapping scene in particular i found i really liked — it didn't really feel like ALL that new of a take on the chosen one. maybe that could've gone further? i'm not sure.

this is a tiny thing, but it really bothered me that four never got a name. i can't say colors are all THAT much better, but they at least were identifying factors (before red changed out of her dress). even alpha got a different name. but four was just...four. and four NEVER got a distinct personality in my mind. i can think of one (1) difference between her and prime, and that really bothers me. there was so much exploration of how the hazels were different and a few identity crises, so it felt like four n e e d e d to be more distinct by the end and she just! wasn't! like what did she add to the story other than being fourth? i literally couldn't tell you. i get that there's l i t e r a l l y a conversation about this about 2/3rds through the book but it doesn't matter because it still deeply bothered me

the resolution to the climax made me mad and the ending just left me...sad and empty feeling. i wasn't expecting things to end perfectly, or tragically. they honestly ended very realistically but it just didn't....hit right? it felt not impactful enough and just a touch too real for there to be anything satisfying about it. i got the point but...i don't know. it was sad, but not cathartic. if hazel prime had changed more i'm not sure if that would've been a better ending. i don't know if there IS a better ending. i'm just left feeling like...yes this is how anxiety works. this is realistic. and i struggle with it every day. maybe that's why it's upsetting, because it's just too similar to me. there isn't enough of a change, it's just some small steps. maybe i'll feel different about the ending tomorrow but right now, right out of this book, i feel upset and conflicted

i think, in the end, the struggle this book has is that it both wants to be plot driven and character driven. and it can be both — there are plenty of stories that have adventurous plots entertwined with deep character exploration — but i think this book missed the mark for the majority of it. it came together toward the end, but that means you have to get through the clunkier beginnings to hit the smoother parts. for at least the first half, to explore hazel, or the hazels as a collective, the action would stop dead. i think there was a way that this exploration could happen alongside the action of saving the world without the sometimes jarring switches between action and character, but unfortunately, we didn't get it

while reading this book, i spoke to friends about it, as it's kind of in my nature to liveblog things i read and watch. and at some point around halfway through, one of my good friends said "ngl i cant tell if you hate the book" and that might be a good stance to stand by.

it was interesting. it was fun to talk about. i don't know if i actually liked it, and so i've had to look at it more from a craft point of view, which i don't actually do for most books. most of my ratings are based on my emotional reaction and mine to this one was just sort of... eh. so a 2.5/5

(also random fun fact, i know they're all blonde but rainbow, but i literally couldn't stop imagining red as dahlia hawthorne from ace attorney because they paired dress with the word red. i know her dress is red. i know she changes out of it early on. i tried so hard to unsee it. i failed miserably)

goodreads page for the art of saving the world

this was a really weird one from me and i’m not entirely sure how i feel about it

[note: i found this review on my notes from a few days after i finished reading this book. i changed a few things, but kept it almost identical to my original thoughts]

to be totally transparent, for some reason, i was under the impression that this book was part of a series, and that really may have effected how i read it. because for the majority of it, i was thinking ‘this is part one’ and it is not.

on the other hand, i think this might’ve benefited from being part of a series (hypocritical since i keep looking for non series books). i have so many questions, especially regarding the world, that just did not get answered, and i thought would in the sequels that did not exist. while the combination of genres and aesthetics was fascinating — i thought it was interesting that a sort of dystopian technologically advanced sector could exist while other areas had limited to no technology — it didn’t entirely make sense. yes, subjects request technology from their queen, but sounds like a revolution waiting to happen in my mind

the romance also seemed super rushed, and i’m not sure if that’s because i thought it was meant to be a series or not. it felt sudden and kind of weird, but that might have just been me. it felt Too Fast, all things considered.

i’ll admit, some of the plot twists got me, but i’m not entirely sure [and still am not sure] if that’s necessarily a good thing. the ending felt unearned and kind of weak, and frankly left me feeling disappointed

in a world where magical books can become monsters, elisabeth was raised in among them. she hopes to become a warden, someone who fights the monsters grimoires can become, when she gets entangled in magic and a plot of sabotage. with a closed off sorcerer and his demon, it’s up to her to stop the plot and save the kingdom, but does that mean going against everything she knows? 

overall, i thought this book was beautiful. from the imagery to the character dynamics to the world building, i found it to be a very enjoyable, lush read. it felt pretty fresh and new, with quite a few unexpected plot twists among the expected. i kept getting tastes of beauty and the beast and wonder if that was intentional— because it was only a little bit and thinking about that aspect too much didn’t make sense. there were some descriptions that felt a little purple prose-y, but on the whole i enjoyed it

which saddens me so much to say that i just didn’t buy into the romance. by the end i felt the spark a little bit, but it wasn’t something i was swooning for. i got so much more of just a platonic, found family vibe from it and wish that we’d just stuck with that instead of the romantic bits, that frankly felt a little bit squished in there. now the family stuff, the platonic stuff, that’s what really got me in the end (and the literal end). there was such a good, healthy dosage of that, that the romance felt unbalanced, and some of the proclamations unwon. i honestly felt like the romance could have been removed and the story would have been…pretty much the same? i know it’s meant to be a side plot, i just didn’t believe it. i’d do some of the same things for my friends, even without romantic feelings, but maybe that’s just me being a little bit too aspec

(also there was like one line about corsets that made my eyes roll i’m sorry)