dream boy ✨

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies

They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

noncon friendship

Coworkers

ooo…. lady gagita

smoking my Bigarette

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

they call it bloodlust because it’s meant to turn you on

trans men. ily. Go get urself a treat