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Headline: Pope Decides Gay People Aren't Fully Developed Humans (Full text can be found here: http://www.care2.com/causes/pope-decides-gay-people-arent-fully-developed-humans.html#ixzz283xTN7DV)

After reading the headline and accompanying article cited above, my heart literally sank. I thought, what exactly does this mean? Does the Pope really think that a gay person is not a fully developed human? Does this imply that they are not made in the same image and likeness of God, as the rest of us are? I admit that the first thought that came to my mind was, why can't the Vatican just put this issue to rest? Why must the Church and its officials keep inciting backlash by such statements? More importantly, why would the Pope want to further alienate believers by hateful speech?

I was so bothered by this article, I actually attempted to write Father Joel and Jolly an email. I wanted to know if they thought the Church thinks gay people aren't fully developed humans. And if they did believe it, did they think it was right to think this way? I stopped myself thinking that neither of them had the time to attend to my brand of crazy this early in the week. So instead of writing them, I decided to find the speech referred to in the article online. It was quite easy, really. All I needed to do was find the official website of the Vatican, where I found a link under Speeches, et voila. http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/speeches/2012/september/documents/hf_ben-xvi_spe_20120921_ad-limina-france_sp.html

The speech, I think, was originally given in French. But Spanish (Yay!), Italian and Portuguese translations were also available. It took me about 2 hours to go over the Spanish version. I was disappointed, and not the least surprised, that the article above took one paragraph from the Pope's speech out of context. Or maybe, I am just not sophisticated or intelligent enough to make the quantum leap of logic from:

Además, desearía subrayar la interdependencia existente entre «la perfección de la persona humana y el desarrollo de la misma sociedad» (Gaudium et spes, 25), desde el momento que la familia «es el fundamento de la sociedad» (ib., 52). Esta última está amenazada en muchos lugares, como consecuencia de una concepción de la naturaleza humana que se demuestra deficiente. Defender la vida y la familia en la sociedad no es en absoluto un acto retrógrado, sino más bien profético, puesto que significa promover valores que permiten el pleno desarrollo de la persona humana, creada a imagen y semejanza de Dios (cf. Gn 1, 26). Aquí estamos ante un verdadero desafío, que hay que aceptar. En efecto, «el bien que la Iglesia y toda la sociedad esperan del matrimonio, y de la familia fundada en él, es demasiado grande como para no ocuparse a fondo de este ámbito pastoral específico. Matrimonio y familia son instituciones que deben ser promovidas y protegidas de cualquier equívoco posible sobre su auténtica verdad, porque el daño que se les hace provoca de hecho una herida a la convivencia humana como tal» (Sacramentum caritatis, 29).

to: Gay people are not fully developed humans. 

I know that the Catholic Church is against gay marriage. And I don't think the Catholic Church will change its mind about this any time soon. To be perfectly honest, I feel that it is unfair to not allow people who genuinely believe that they love each other to stand before their community and their God in order to declare their vow to honor, respect and love each other, forsaking all others, for as long as they both shall live, simply because they are not a man and woman.  I also believe that it is unjust to deny gay people, simply by reason of their homosexuality, the same civil rights accorded heterosexuals. This to me is a form of baseless segregation that implies inequality, and has no place in the modern world.

I am not a scholar of scripture. And admittedly, I have not read the Bible from cover to cover and found every passage there that says homosexuality is an abomination. But I do remember that in the Bible Jesus said that God is in EVERY human being we encounter. And that the second greatest commandment is to love an unqualified "others" as we love ourselves. Thus, if I believe that God created me, I have to equally believe that God also created everyone else on this planet. And if I believe that God made every part of me just so to serve a purpose, I must believe this too about a gay man or woman's homosexuality.

And since I'm being honest, I admit that each time I hear that gay marriage threatens the family as an institution, I can't help but think that there is something inherently counter-intuitive in this assertion. I mean, isn't the reason why people (gay or straight) marry because they want to form a family? And if we want to promote the family, shouldn't we encourage, instead of hinder, couples (again gay or straight) to adopt? Is a family with 2 dads less of a family than one with a mom and a dad? And what of families made up of just one parent? Where do they fall in this ludicrous hierarchy? And, hey, wait a minute, don't gay people come from families too? They didn't just sprout up from the earth like fungi, did they? 

There is a great debate going on all over the world about the issues of gay rights. And rightly so. I think that this is part of our development as a civilization. The same course we traversed in the abolition of slavery and according equality to women. I just find it absurd that the Catholic Church's stance on this issue is always brought up as proof supporting the irrelevance of the Church, even of faith in general, in modern times. On the one hand, gay rights activists say that what the Pope says is irrelevant, and yet each time the Pope mentions anything remotely related to this, the pundits go apeshit. If his opinion doesn't count, why do you want to change it? I mean, make up your mind already.

I found myself saying this (tearfully haha) to a friend recently. This, I think, is probably why so many women have either opted to remain single or leave their husbands. I feel that men these days exhibit such a passiveness that is just completely unappealing.  And while this may in truth be a gross generalization on my part, I cannot help but believe this on the basis of my own personal experience and that of the people around me. And to be honest, I really wish I am wrong.

The article below, which I received in an email today, may be a partial validation of my opinion.

January is the busiest time of the year for initiating divorces, and most divorces are initiated by women. What can a man do to improve his relationship so his marriage doesn't become one of the January divorce statistics?

Show leadership:  One of women's biggest complaints is that men don't show their share of leadership in the relationship. When a man sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. People admire those who step forward to handle difficult situations--and don't wait for others to solve the problem. 

Make decisions:  To avoid accusations of being controlling, a lot of men have gone to the other extreme--they leave most decisions to their wives. A man needs to make his share of decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. To many women, a man who avoids decisions is shirking his responsibilities. One of the meanings of the word "manly" is being decisive. 

Take responsibility:  Take responsibility for improving the situation. Don't blame others. There is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman--even when he thinks she pushed him into it. People will say, "You're the man. Why did you let it go on?" One of the meanings of the word "husband" is someone who skillfully manages his household. Managers take responsibility. 

Divorced women have said that if their husbands had understood these crucial truths, their marriages would not have disintegrated.

I don't think that it is all up to the men to make marriages or relationships work. However, I think, men should recognize how crucial it is for them to take on a role of leadership to make a marriage or relationship succesful.  I mean, even the fact that it is more common for women to initiate divorce is a manifestation of this general passiveness and their refusal to take on the responsibility of leading. 

Tribute to Father Toy Manlangit

Delivered on 2 January 2011

Capilla de San Francisco, Santuario de San Antonio

There is a saying that there is nothing certain in this world, except for death and taxes.   For many of us gathered today, this is not our first encounter with loss or sorrow caused by the death of a loved one.  Yet each time we experience the death of a family member or friend, we feel it with the exact same intensity, as if we never experienced it before.   I received the news of Father Toy’s passing with disbelief. When I read Jaime’s text the first time I thought he was asking me to remember Father Toy’s brother, who also joined our Creator sometime in August 2010, in my holiday prayers.   Of course, in the back of mind, I knew there was something wrong with that, so I re-read his message and it was surreal.  It couldn’t be true.   Unfortunately, it was true.  Death has struck SYA again and the loss was just as terrible as when Sahara passed away in 2009.

Confession: I don’t remember when or how I met Father Toy.  I’m pretty sure it was during the 10th SYA weekend in October 2005.  I was trying to recall it as I stood in front of Father Toy’s remains last Thursday when he was brought here.  Even today, I was trying to remember and I still could not.   A part of me is frustrated that I don’t remember such a momentous occasion but I am re-assured by the other memories I have of Father Toy like the way he always greeted me with teasing and an easy smile when I attend SYA activities after a “short” absence.   He always made me feel missed. Father Toy was also my first workshopper for my talks when I teamed for the 11th weekend.  I also won’t forget how happy Father Toy was to see us, when Tina, Kerol and I greeted him during the last simbang gabi (when we made pa-attendance). I also remember how he would patiently cajole me into receiving communion during SYA masses when I would hide in the back. One time I even said, Father I’m jahe to take communion kasi I’m not in a state of grace. But he still insisted, maybe because he was really worried if my spirit was receiving the nourishment it needed.  I will never forget that he insisted I get my birthday blessing at our last SYA mass and Christmas party.  I came in late and missed the birthday celebrants’ blessing. When he saw me after communion, he postponed the closing prayers and called me to the front to receive a special blessing.  I know I would have super regretted missing that blessing now, if I hadn’t received it then.  I also miss his patience when I try to engage him in debate about the different controversial topics faced by the church.  But I think my favorite memory of Father Toy would be how much he enjoyed his meals.  (SYA activities almost always revolved around food.  And just like most of us, Father Toy was partial to crispy pata, lechon kawali, chocolate cake and all the other desserts there is.)    

Father Toy savored his food, the way he savored life, with zest and gusto, and whole hearted gratitude, which I sometimes found difficult to reconcile with the austere life he chose to live as a religious.

Father Toy’s life was also a wonderful surprise.   Despite the fact that he chose not to have a family of his own, many of us here love and cherish Father Toy as a dear member of our own families.   SYA has been the family of Father Toy, as well as many of us, and he was a pillar of that family, as well as its guiding light, a father and a mother figure at the same time.

While waiting for him in Loyola last Thursday, a bunch of us were talking about the upcoming discernment and the presentation Father Toy had prepared for selecting the next team.   It immediately hit me that the next batch of SYA-ers would not have the honor and pleasure of getting to know Father Toy like we did.  They would no longer have him as an example and an inspiration of how to trustingly, cheerfully and lovingly follow God’s will and live out our faith daily.   I hope that we honor Father Toy’s memory in SYA by continuing to emulate him in death, as we did when he was with us.   The Armenians say when your father dies, your sun shifts forever and you walk in his light.  Our sun has definitely shifted with Father Toy’s loss.  We should be grateful to have his light to guide us along.   In the same way, we are urged to now walk in his light and honor his memory. 

When I was looking for inspiration for this tribute, I came across a poem that I think Father Toy would have liked. It is called What is Death? by Henry Scott Holland. (I can almost hear Father’s voice saying these words to all of us.)

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without affect, without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same that it ever was. There is absolutely unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well.

I’m not sure about the all is well part. I’m certain most of you aren’t either.  But if there is one thing we all learned from Father Toy, it is to trust in God’s plan, even if we don’t understand it.  So I trust that all will be well Father.  It doesn’t mean that the vacuum you have left in our midst will ever be filled.  But we will trust that someday we will understand why you had to be taken from us too soon. 

Start:     Dec 22, '10 03:30a