Bar Me Up, Scotty

Californians and Texans are like

But don't worry guys, you got this!

Other people after finishing the bar:

Me after finishing the bar:

It's halfway done!!

Guys, every time my exam software closes it turns on Spotify. What happens if Fancy starts blaring during the bar exam?!

One time at lunch I was reviewing my property notes (don't judge me I just started studying like yesterday!) and saw the words "equitable servitude," and I don't know, that just did it. I suddenly realized that I knew nothing and could never know anything. So, there's that.

At one point I wrote "signed by both parties" and then couldn't remember whether really the thing needed only one party's signature, so I deleted "by both parties."

What I'm supposed to be doing today:

What I'm actually doing today:

Just got to the slayer rule, which sounds empowering and appropriate if taken completely out of context. Let's slay this!

Low moments:

Normal moments:

Super positive moments:

Les ananas ne lâchent pas! (If you don't get this reference, go watch Téléfrançais aussitôt! Unless you're as far behind in bar study as me. Then go cram four weeks of work into your head in the next two days.)

Super low moments:

The upside to how boring contracts law is (even with a good professor, it turns out!):

My "after the bar" list is starting to look like a combination of New Year's resolutions and basic requirements for being a human being allowed in public places. For example, after the bar I will:

Shower regularly

Be on a (relatively) normal sleep schedule

Get a haircut

Exercise ever

Do dishes ever

Make a list of household chores and actually do them

Communicate regularly with people I like

Maybe even see people I like in person

Sell excess furniture

Finish unpacking (not kidding)

Organize closets

Eat things that aren't take out or cereal

Find a job

Threaten my landlord with legal action if they don't give us a place to recycle

Recycle the millions of boxes currently sitting in my apartment

Read for fun

Go outside ever

Make lots of doctor appointments I've been putting off and then go to them

Explore Chicago beyond the 10-block radius of my apartment

But first, I will:

I just bought milk and it expires after the bar will be over.

Turns out that Illinois hasn't yet decriminalized fornication...that's right, it's illegal to have sexual relations with someone other than a spouse if the behavior is open and notorious.

When I found a Starbucks open until 2 am:

When it turns out this Starbucks is open until 2 am to serve hordes of loud drunk people between the hours of midnight and 2:

When the answer to a multiple-choice question about IIED was that the plaintiff would lose because he couldn't show that the newspaper acted with actual malice: