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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@barkersbite
welcome to my little corner of the world !
𓆱 20, lesbian 18+ only.
this is not a sfw space!!! it is my personal, mostly wholesome blog in dedication to exploring my kinks & coping mechanisms! i’m still very much in a place of finding myself & testing my boundaries so this account could be all over the place.. who knows!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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as much as the much darker winter months are my favourite of all seasons, these recent days of bright skies as i go to bed makes me feel so tiny… it gives a similar sense of going to sleep as a child somehow, a very specific memory of drifting off to the sound of grownups talking amongst themselves in a distant room as the warmth of the day becomes subtle in my sunlit room, or like settling down for an afternoon nap after a long morning of running around in uncut grass and wildflowers.
there’s a river not too far from my house, surrounded by a wonderland of trees that feel like the warmest hug when i’m amongst them.
i often visit to sit by the water, it’s easier to get lost in my thoughts when i’m surrounded by the soft song of its trickling lullaby. i imagine going down with my mama, a woven basket full of prepared snacks and freshly picked berries swinging in my eager hands as we find a spot to settle down.
the sound of our giggles would blend in perfectly with the melody of the birds and perhaps if we’re lucky, the river would be so kind as to make depth for us that day, an opportunity for swimming.. or paddling, if it’s too cold on our skin.
soft summer evenings amongst berry stained hands.
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slow mornings with mama… embracing the silence of each others sleepy states as we wake, the soft sun casting a welcoming glow around us. maybe i could sit at the table patiently as she prepares our breakfast, a sippy cup of warm milk to my left that she keeps reminding me is quickly cooling down as my focus is stolen by the drawing pad in front of me.
we’d talk about the dreams that we had last night and the type of day we’d want to have ahead of us, maybe we need to run some errands or maybe we’d like to go out and do something for the day, maybe we both want to stay in today and take it by the hour. i’m extremely content with whatever we end up doing, as long as i’m with her.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
today was long, i hate settling down whilst feeling like this. i hope i can sleep tonight. i really, really hope that my loneliness doesn’t begin to consume me like it has before. being tucked in and falling asleep to the soft voice of a bedtime story sounds perfect right now.
i don’t think i could ever be a caregiver, (i just don’t have it in me unfortunately) though the thought of caring for mama in that way when she isn’t feeling good is so appealing to me. i’m not very good at showing my love for people, physically, even though i feel it so deeply that it almost hurts, so loving on her in the same way that she’s shown to me when i’m not feeling good just sounds perfect.
maybe she’s sick, or having a hard time mentally. i could draw her a nice bubble bath n fill it with my favourite bath toys, washing her hair whilst she relaxes. brushing her hair afterwards, reminding her how beautiful she is even in these moments of illness. i’d say i’m a pretty good cook, even when i’m feeling small, so i could make us something nice to eat as well (but she may have to supervise me in the kitchen because i get so clumsy every damn time). cuddling her so softly on the couch, stroking her hair and tickling her arm whilst i let her hold my comfort plush, hoping that she can pass on her magical healing powers to my mommy like she does with me.
making her some warm herbal drink, if that’s what she likes, and pouring it into her favourite cup whilst i make myself some juice. we can do whatever she wants to, perhaps she doesn’t have much energy that day, physically or mentally. we could watch something together, or maybe i could read her a story that i like until she feels tired enough to sleep, mimicking the characters voices that she puts on when she reads them to me. watching over mama as she gets some rest next to me, i’d probably spend a few minutes soaking up the sight of her in the awe that i know i’d feel before leaving her to sleep whilst i tidy up after myself from the day, just as she taught me.
i know that she probably doesn’t need all of the fuss, she’s a big girl of course. but it would feel really nice to have her get a sense how she makes me feel when i’m not feeling well- so small and loved and cared for with no need for worry at all. i think she deserves that at the very very least <3
my future space with mommy will be everything we’ve both dreamed of, combined into one space. maybe a small house tucked away behind a long stretch of trees with a garden just the right size for playing, also housing some growing vegetables, herbs and flowers. i can bring all of my pets and we can have a space for them as well, perhaps. it’s decorated with everything we love and cherish, i’ll be able to have some regression items scattered around the house without any sense of embarrassment. there will be no shouting, no fear, no shame, only warmth with a big addition of love, devotion and plushies
good morning everypony my brain has gotten into the routine of showing me the biggest and baddest dreams ever right before i wake up every day so now imfeeling very itty bitty and tearful just in time to start getting ready for the day.. amazing!! wow!!
to be loved truly even in my most vulnerable moments and cared for to a point that it could feel almost scary in its unfamiliarity. my dream seems to change a lot, though for now it is to just be treated with utter gentleness and understanding, to be assured that all of my regression is at the very least something that is unimportant. i want to grow to learn that my episodes are not too much, that i’m okay for keeping completely quiet when the world is too loud, that my habits and coping mechanisms that could be deemed as unhealthy make me far from off putting. i know that i shouldn’t depend on anyone but myself to heal and discover, but some company on this journey would be nice
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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being this fevery & sore has me really daydreaming about how much easier sick days would be if i had a mama. they would still suck because duh, i’m not well, but the thought alone of being bundled up on the couch in blankets (with a fan at my side just in case) with a cg at my side just makes me feel a lot better. mommy helping me eat some homemade soup whilst we watch an older movie together, something animated probably. having her soft hands rub circles upon my back as i whine about how much i hate being ill. “i knoww, i know. mamas here, my little bug, just focus on your breathing for me, yeah? you’re okay, i’m not going anywhere unless you need me to” okay yes i need this right nowww please
woke up feeling super icky & feverish ughh, think i’m just super run down from overworking myself with recent events but a movie + blanket day sounds so perfect right now..
“i asked chatgpt” oh okay, well i asked my mommy (who knows everything in the world btw) and she said that you’re boring & unoriginal..
i would say good night but i lost my plushie again PLUS i’m not laying on mommy’s chest as she strokes my arm, shushing me every time i open my mouth to protest that i’m not sleepy yet.. so i guess it’s just night 😓
one thing about me is that i will be pretending i’m still sound asleep once we arrive back home after a long car journey, just so i can hear the “wake up my sleepy girl, we’re home!! come help your mommy unload the car and then we can make you something nice for lunch, yeah?”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
maybe one summer i’ll get to build a big blanket fort in the living room with my mama. i’ve never made one so i actually have no idea how we’d do it, but i’m just imagining being inside together afterwards having a tea party with all of the plushies we can find! making hand puppets amongst the glow of the fairy lights we hung as the world outside begins to fall asleep. eventually, maybe i could even be read a bedtime story with my head on her chest, the rise and fall of it sending me into sleep with a half empty bottle of warm milk in my hands 💭
Hi there, hope you don't mind my reaching out. Regarding your recent post, I just wanted to say that it's fairly normal to not know what side of the coin you're on when it comes to this side of things, I think a lot of people struggle with knowing where they fit in.
Do you care to elaborate more on these things that you feel? Maybe some of us could help, it could help you as well. No pressure, we're here to listen, though.
hi!! thank you for reaching out :) you’re my first ever ask yayayay!! i don’t mind at all, i love talking to people through asks, it’s a lot easier than dms for me!
