𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕠𝕟 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝.

You’re thinking big there, Barbara, I like it. No shame in that, we all have different metabolisms, right? Regardless, I think any public appearance you’ve been to, you continue looking flawless. Would absolutely be lying if I weren’t jealous, plus you seem sweet too. You’ve got it all going for you. Where did you come from? If I might ask, I’d try to put a finger on it but I know I’d get it completely wrong. You did not lie there, I think the moment a man cooks a whole meal for me, it’s absolutely over and marriage is already in the cards. Kidding, for the most part. What’s your go-to for Uber Eats!?

Always been a thinker outside of the box, that’s for sure. I don’t want to regret anything in my life, if it happened, it was most certainly favorable in my books. Oh gosh, you’re too sweet. Don’t be jealous, you’re very gorgeous. Just my career, if we’re being honest. Where’d I come from? I don’t know if I’m answering correctly, but let me know. From New York, but I was born in Budapest. A man knowing how to cook for you is the best thing ever. I usually order ice cream, or.... Shake Shack. 

That is so not friendly behavior! I’m not asking you to share it with everyone, just with me, someone who you know truly appreciates steak and wouldn’t take it for granted. And yeah, that can get rather unhealthy really quickly, but if it’s death row, that certainly wouldn’t be a concern anymore. We’re just worried about getting the last taste of all the things we want. I know, but burgers and beer just naturally pair together in my mind, so I’d want both together. Wine goes with the steak. Rosé, not a bad choice. Can’t go wrong with a classic. Let’s test now, what do you think would be on it? Not that I’d actually tell you, but I’m curious. If you’re trying to get me to say you’re gorgeous again, you could just ask instead of fighting it, B. I mean, I’d make fun of you, but I’d probably comply since it’s true and all. Maybe your suitors are just afraid to show themselves because I can’t imagine you don’t have any at all. But I’m with you, I’ve never put pressure on that and I’m not about to start now. It’ll happen when it happens. I got out of something a couple months ago, and I don’t know if I want to put myself out there like that just yet. Not really in any rush. What do you mean you lied? Did you tell them we hit it off or something? Though I guess when it comes to fake girlfriends, I could do a lot worse. Certainly is, and it’s a well known line for a reason.

Alright, you’re definitely top choice out of most people, so I’ll definitely share with you. I’m pretty sure you don’t take anything granted, and I can trust you on this. I can imagine breaking out, it totally slipped my mind - but what can I do? Nothing. I’m really thinking about steak. I’d risk it all for steak right now, I know it sounds crazy. It’s possible, I’ll respect your opinion. Rosé is always for the wine nights by myself. Okay, maybe like... asparagus or some brussel sprouts. I’ll throw in blue cheese, cause I am not a fan of it myself. Say it again, if you’re not scared. You’re so mean, always making fun of me. I’ll find someone, I’m really enjoying my life. I usually attract them, slow and steady wins the race. Really? What happened, if you don’t mind me asking? I just said we had a good time so they wouldn’t ask again. It’s simple. I shall blow your mind with the food I’ll make for you, eventually. 

That’s adorable! But no, you don’t need to fight anyone; I have more than enough love to go around, I promise! Ah, I know, it’s so so hard to stay on track with at first, but I’ve been doing it for so long now that I’m well used to it. Ohhh, oh my goodness. Your mum sounds like a fresh kitchen wizard and I love her. I may have to invent a reason to visit your mum very soon to try some of that. I’m almost drooling just thinking about it!

I shall trust you on that, I’ll tuck away my fighting skills for now - kidding. The determination from you is real, I wish I had that for sure. It’s really good, it’ll fill up your stomach and leave your soul satisfied. Of course, she’ll welcome you with open arms. 

jordan: at all? wow. we could really be out here like ... i don't know. making out or something and we wouldn't even remember. kidding.

jordan: i'm not that nice but i /am/ nice enough to make sure you don't fall asleep on the floor. you're a model, for godsake. i could never let such precious cargo pass out on the floor. absolutely not. you'll delete 'em, too.

jordan: you're in new york? i'm in los angeles right now for some birthday festivities but once i get back, can we get drinks or something? maybe something more tame, if you're worried about not remember what we say while drunk.

jordan: you're sweet.

jordan: avocados are gross. i'm rethinking our entire friendship right now. you /love/ them? they taste like nothing, barbara! they taste like squishy nothing!

barbara: hm... good question, you would tell me, meanie.

barbara: very true. you're my guardian angel??? it's possible. i hate you... 'precious cargo'. i wish i could use a facepalm emoji. fine, i would. :)

barbara: boooo, just kidding. of course, we can celebrate your birthday on the better coast.

barbara: thank you, i try.

I think the only solution for putting it back together is for you to experience the beauty of Taco Bell with me. Baja Blast is a fucking ride! There was this Cherry one that they had that couldn’t even compare to what the Mountain Dew one was. You’re sweet for thinking of my tank. It appreciates you but the late night Taco Bell ride is only good if you do it in the car with some late night jams, duh.

Okay, deal. I don’t think it’ll be a bad idea, there’s nothing for me in my schedule. Sometimes, when I’m not on my diet, I usually buy a lot of unhealthy food and just have a field day with it. I wish I could experience the Cherry one, but Baja Blast will do for now. I am pretty nice, you’re glad I’m not letting you do it easily. We’ll see how it goes.

No definitely no tofu by itself.  That would be the worst.  Maybe someday when I’m over 25 or so the health kick will catch on, but I’m young.  I still eat like a garbage dump and it’s okay.  We have to go through that phase to get it right later.  I’ll be perfectly okay. 

If the tofu ain’t paired with anything, it’s not good. I don’t know if that’s a good idea, but to each their own. I might be a little worried for you, Michael. 

Oh, there’s a much longer plot going on than what I described, trust me. It’s basically like boy and girl meet because boy knows the girl’s friend in college, more like dated her friend, and girl does her friend a favor to take boy to new york since they’re both going. They both fight over if guys and girls can truly be friends, ten years later they meet again at a bookstore (after seeing each other on a plane ride one time, but didn’t talk much so that one didn’t count) and try to be friends without sex. It’s a great and hilarious movie, but it does have emotional parts in it like any movie. I have seen Life as We Know It, that movie was really good. It’s nice to meet you too, Barbara! You’re really pretty! I’m pretty good myself as well, thank you.

You already reeled me in with the plot, but I’ll definitely make sure to give the movie a watch! It sounds like my forte. Thank you so much, I can say the same thing about yourself! No problem. 

It feels like ages ago. I’m not sure, maybe later this year. I’m currently in Ireland on a little vacation with a friend. Please do! I’m based in LA so give me a call whenever you’re in the area. I really believe I could be the exception to that though but I guess only time will tell. Oooh photoshoots are always fun! Mainly just chillin’, I’m on a little break right now and then I have some movies coming out later in the year. 

Hopefully you can visit! It’s important to stick to your roots, and visiting as much as you can. I try my best, it’s difficult with my schedule. That’s fun, have you visited any places in Ireland? The only thing I can think of is Game of Thrones, which seems to my favorite show. It sucks, I’m based in NYC so there’s possibilities I have to fly back there, but crossing my fingers. I’ll let you know! I love them, it’s truly a good feeling, and it’s literally easy... not to toot my own horn. Soak up all the break you can!

Did you invent steak? If so, I’m mad at you for not sharing the wealth. I don’t know about healthy if the salad is swimming in dressing and the potato has enough cheese to weigh half my head, but on death row, those concerns go out the window anyway. Probably a good bottle of red, Pinot Noir preferably. I nearly said some kind of beer, but that’d require a burger as well, so I guess this just became a three course meal. You’re not the only one stuffing your face. What about your drink? Cheesecake is a respectable dessert choice, too. You know I’m a foodie and naturally have a short list of things I wouldn’t eat…which I’m not telling you. I’m not even buttering you up, just being honest. Besides, the buttering is for my lobster if you decide on making that for dinner. I’m more surprised that you’re single than myself, what’s up with that? Or if you’d just rather be, nothing wrong with it. I know, though do you think we’ve let our friends down, potentially crushed their couple dreams? I mean, food. I’m easy, but you know that by now.

Yes, how’d you not know? I’m sorry, I have to enjoy it all by myself, though. It is healthy, I mean... unless you’re going the other direction, then it goes all out the window. That makes complete sense, going big is the best way. The only thing you’re probably thinking about is eating the most delicious meal in the world, and nothing else. Very good wine choice, and hey - you don’t need to always have a beer with burger, you can definitely pair it with the steak, it won’t hurt. I’d choose Rosé, it’s a classy drink, and suits me pretty well. I definitely know my life mission - finding out your list of things you wouldn’t eat. I guess we can go along with that, for sure, but you were kind of buttering me up, let’s be honest. I can say that’s a good question, cause I’m very unlikable-- just kidding. I don’t find any suitors, that’s all. I’m cruising with the single life, it’s nice to enjoy your own company. Whatever’s meant for me, it’ll happen. It’s best to not expect anything, y’know? How about yourself? Just a little, I don’t think they’ll care that much, I haven’t heard anything from them. I might have lied to keep them off my ass. I’ll keep that in mind, a way to a man’s heart is through is stomach, I suppose.

So, I have some news for you speaking of catching up. KJ asked me to marry him, so we are engaged!

What?! No way. I’m so happy for you, Lil! You deserve the world, honestly. I’m glad you got your soulmate. 

Not weird at all, let’s facetime one day and both eat meals of five to break that record of a meal of ten. My metabolism really does me wonders because logic says that I should not be at the size I am at all. It’s hard not to appreciate different foods while travelling, I definitely used to be pickier then felt the sense of being left out while everyone was chowing down at the table and opening my my taste buds to different things has definitely been the best decision I’ve ever made. The question is, what won’t I eat? Oh hush, they’re probably so happy to see you, you seem like a little ball of sunshine.

Sounds like a good deal, we can slowly build up to a meal of twenty, it’ll be record breaking. I know, my metabolism is different.. I feel like I gain more than I should. I’ll definitely agree with that, I’d stick to my own roots and not really experiment to the food out there. It’s allowed me to get close to people, the way to people’s hearts are food. That’s true, I could literally eat a lot of things now. It’s weird, they’ll be like ‘same thing again?’ They are really sweet, I always leave tips.