im so scared the rest of my life is gonna feel like this
Keni

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almost home

ā
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@barakittyyy
im so scared the rest of my life is gonna feel like this

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I am not arrogant. I simply know my place. Itās quite far above yours.
cashier: Iām sorry itās going to be a 5 minute wait for your food
old people: let me speak to your manager. This never would have happened in my day. And yet you all want the minimum wage raised. Iām going to kill you.
cashier: Iām sorry itās going to be a 5 minute wait for your food
millennials: okay, my apologies. I apologize for the inconvenience. Iām sorry Iām here.
me, walking into a store: are you guys busy? i can come back later. please donāt push yourselves on my account. things happen
Had a baby boomer in front of me at the Dairy Queen. She INSISTED she was a Blizzard EXPERT and there was simply NOT ENOUGH chocolate pieces in her blizzard and she wanted to complain to "whoever is in charge". She's going on and on with this teenager. The teenager is calmly explaining they make them all the same etc etc procedure etc etc. But this woman is now yelling at the teen.
So I walk past the woman and put money in teen's tip jar. Haven't even gotten ice cream yet.
Woman looks at me. Turns back and yells some more with the teen. I put more money in the tip jar.
The teen smiles at me. The woman can't think of what to say to me and stops yelling, because I'm looking at her dead in the eye like "atm is over there, I can go all night. The more you yell at her, the more money she makes."
Aggressive generosity to combat boomer selfishness is so punk
āI donāt sleep anymore because Iām terrified one day Iāll wake up to a text from you saying you donāt love me anymore.ā
- To my one and only (I know youāll stumble across this)
āYou begin to wonder if you are the toxic one. Not them - your parents. Not them - the people from school. Not them - your horrible friendships, not your dreadful past, not any of the things you blame, deep down. You begin to wonder if itās you. If itās always been you. Maybe some of us truly are destructive to everything we touch.ā
ā broken thoughts

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āNow itās 2AM and Iām sitting up in bed because I canāt sleep and the ugly truth is I miss you. I miss you and it doesnāt make sense because right now I canāt seem to recall what you ever did to me that was so wrong it made me cut the ties. Surely it canāt have been that bad. I probably overreacted and now my pettiness is the reason Iām alone tonight and tomorrow and I wonāt ever get to wake up next to you again. I think of your face, and of your mouth, and of all the things you said. A pounding ache builds in the back of my head, because only the good come to my mind. For the life of me, I canāt remember you calling me names, I canāt remember the lies that spilled from your throat like honey, the tales you spun out of the stories you told. But I should. I know I should at least try, so I touch my skin in all the places you did, and Iām surprised to find that thereās only an echo of pain, a whisper of what could blossom into a bruise. Not enough to make me stop, not enough to make me shove the thought of you back into the depths of my mind where it belongs. And I wonder why I canāt let go, not quite, not ever. When itād be the only thing to help me sleep. When itād be the only thing to help me find peace.ā
ā nocturnal / n.j.
āThe way he kissed her was soft, like he was asking permission, but his lips were almost as rough as his fingertips. Her mother had been wrong. Men like [him] were not cotton candy. It was girls with hearts that could not be kept from falling in love, and anyone unlucky enough to be loved by them. They all dissolved like spun sugar in water.ā
ā Anna-Marie McLemore, from Wild Beauty (Feiwel and Friends, 2017)
āAnger is a valid emotion. Itās only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you donāt want to do.ā
ā Ellen Hopkins, Fallout
āSometimes I get a feeling that nobody is right for me. There is no one out there whoās energy suits mine. That makes me sad because, I want to feel the love, Iāve been giving to everyone else.ā
ā d.m
āAnyone who cannot accept you for who you truly are does not deserve to be in your life to begin with. Only surround yourself with those whose love is unconditional.ā
ā Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

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āAnd then I see you andā¦my god, I just love you. I love you so much my head spins.ā
āDonāt tell a lie on me, I wonāt tell the truth bout youā
ā Kendrick Lamar
Dropneurons š¾
ok iāll say it ā¦ā¦.i need affection ā¦.ok damn

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āDonāt look sickā .. āyouāre too young to have those problemsā ā¦.
Chronic illness isnāt looking sick.
Chronic illness is being in pain 24/7 but putting a smile on your face anyway.
Chronic illness being exhasted after just taking a shower.
Chronic illness is having panic attacks terrified to go do anything worried youāre gonna have a pain episode.
Chronic ill is feeling like a burden to everyone around you.
Chronic illness is feeling so alone because no one understands, they can try to understand, but they wonāt, and they canāt.
Chronic ill is people thinking youāre a hypochondriac or attention seeker.
Chronic illness is no one believeing you.
Chronic illness is not being able to get the right medication because the doctors think youāre just ādrug seekingā
Chronic illness is feeling like failure because you canāt do things normal people can.
Chronic illness is hot shower/baths at 4am because you are having a pain episode.
Chronic illness is bawling because how bad the pain is.
Chronic illness is 9 prescription medications everyday.
Chronic illness doctor appointment after doctor appointment.
Chronic illness is basically being the doctors guinea pig; testing, being poked, feeling violated.
Chronic illness is surgery after surgery
Chronic illness is having 20+ surgeries at 19 years old.
Chronic illness is losing friends because they just donāt understand.
Chronic illness is awful.
Chronic illness should not go unnoticed. Just because someone doesnāt look sick doesnāt mean they are healthy.