“suck on deez” -Megumi Fushiguro

Your secret is safe with me (i dissociated mid sentence and didn’t hear a thing you said)

if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom

if she did this doofenshmirtz would just be like you see perry the platypus i sold my old computer at the pawn shop but i forgot to delete all those embarrassing photos from the christmas party, which is why i’ve invented the pixel-replacinator! and then as candace is going to text her mom the photo the phone gets hit with the beam and she looks down and she’s just texted her mom a photo of doofenshmirtz in a sexy elf costume or smth. candace can never fucking win the universe bends to facilitate her psychological torment

We got "Vampirism is a curse and I care too much for you to burden you with it." Now manifesting for season 4 "If I turn you you'll have no more reason to stay"