Like when I think about my birth mom, shes mu logical queen. I've never found her selfish. I think she's extremely selfless for giving me up. That shit would be like torture tbh. But my birth mom made the rational and logical decision that would give me a better chance at a decent quality of life.

No life has not been pretty. I have baggage and trauma ofc but tbh my mom made the same hard decision I would if I was her.

My birth mom has always been a role model of "making the best logical decision even if it's not the most romantic or emotionally satisfying one".

Idgaf if she gave me up to attend university or some shit, or whatever tf else may be happened. Sis please pursue your education and put me up for adoption. We can't both be fucked up in life.

I politely declined it for the current time because for me to see something like that, I need to mentally prepare. Like Im not ready for it. Some days I feel like I am, others Im not. I told them that I'd need to do like a month plus of mental preparation and were really understanding

Apparently though, she liked science and cats. Which has given me a new sense of connection to her bc I loved dogs (cats too) and science as a kid. As an adult, I like cats and history. So we have similar interests and inclinations ig. Animals and learning new shit. I think she liked Ecology

Im not ready to see a picture of her. This is my first time hearing about a photo existing.

It was really nice of them and tbh I feel bad for speaking negatively of them. Like to their defense, when I was really having those strong feelings I never asked them.

I was just being angry about it online and nothing more.

Thats on me. I was wrong.

But they made it clear that anytime Im ready to see, theyll get it for me.

It's not like I don't want to know, I do. But I'm scared of knowing something i can't handle and having to work though that along with everything else.

The Sith Empire side has actual shit going on and I feel like as a player Im given more chances to define my character from a roleplay perspective.