Welcome to [Undisclosed]

Can't stop thinking about how the only times we've seen Armand lose control over his facial expression is when he is being rejected, and how he tries to force a smile each time 😭😭

MyMarly opens up his phone on the day of the outing to basically every hockey player groupchat being revived and absolutely blown up, from last year's 'all stars party bois' chat to a text thread from his second year as a pro

And he spends waaaay too long reading them trying to see if literally anyone knew or if everyone is as shocked as he is (and it's not NOT about his need to validate that Ilya kept this from Everyone, that maybe he was a good ass cap and a good friend and Ilya just didn't share this with anyone but Hollander himself)

And the only "I Knew" he gets is from an old Boston Big Dogs chat from years back, where one Russian defenceman that got traded from the raiders insists that he Did Know that cap was 'a gay of some kind'.

And now he's feeling both very protective of his friend and upset that his friend may have told this Russian guy (who they didn't even have on the roster that long, god was the cultural barrier between him and cap really that big?) but not him. So he pushes this dude to admit how he figured anything out

"dude it was a long time ago but i do have video of you snorting coke off a strippers tits while engaged and i will show your wife"

"fucking fine. Was simple. You were all stupid Americans who heard man with accent say I love you and wave arms around all the time and went ah yes this is normal European man behavior. But it is not normal Slavic hockey player behavior."

"I think it's like super offensive now to say that cap is gay because he bro-ed out too hard man"

"his accent is also very gay sounding in Russian but you could not pick that up because you are american. That is not your fault, only Russian or Russian neighbour would know probably."

"also I'm pretty sure he's bi or some shit not gay"

"Yes I figure this from big clue that was him snorting coke off same stripper 🙄 I assume you are keeping video in case I say stupid shit about Rozanov?"

"you know it bud"

I love the fics where Ilya has a private unhinged hockey stan twt account, to play with that idea what if it was Shane with the twt account?

I don't think Shane would have a thirst account, so I imagine it being something more like a chart update account, where are every match Ilya plays there is a detailed analytical breakdown of his stats and plays posted on twitter. It starts during the six month ghosting and he tells himself its an elevated tape review exercise. After every game Ilya plays, within 24 hours there is a thread from twt user @ Rosanov81stats rain or shine it doesnt matter. Shane analyses a few other players too whenever the game is particularly interesting, but Ilya is the only player with every game analysed.

Ofcourse this is a popular account, but not for its virality, people do think its cute how dedicated Roasanov81stats is to the game, but the numbers are so accurate they get regularly quoted and sourced by journalists in their articles, in the interviews and the Boston coaching team is actually so grateful to the account they've tried multiple times to DM the user and offer free tickets, but he remains elusive.