22 •lesbian •queer

image is two pink-mauve squares, they say: it isn’t fair that i have all the pain – and they’re the ones who get to stay the same

what you did to me

but the words get twisted & mangled & stuck in my throat,

digging their filthy claws in & d r a g g i n g

blood coagulates behind my teeth & i bite down to keep it from spilling out

it’s black & it’s ugly & no one should have to see it

Trauma survivors don’t owe you an explanation. They don’t have to tell you why they’re traumatized, or explain to you in any way why they are the way they are.

HOOoO BOI IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS??

GOOD AROMANTIC ASEXUAL REPRESENTATION IN THE MEDIA????

Whether you can’t make it due to not having the time or money, or if you’re disabled, or if you’re not out or safe with your family or community. Whether it’s more inaccessible because you’re too young or old. Whether you just lucked out, and it didn’t work out with it being too expensive or too far to travel there, or you just couldn’t get an ride.

You deserve to be extremely prideful and happy this month, you are LGBTQ+, I hope you have an wonderfully gay time.

there is an exact copy of this masterlist under the “resources” tab on my blog!

finding out your romantic orientation can be a struggle. it’s laborious, intense, and often unrewarding. there’s a dearth of information available to aro and aro spec people, and that’s a shame.

i’ve compiled a list of the links and resources that helped me the most: from the blogs that helped explain what aromanticism was to the positivity blogs that helped me not feel so alone. hopefully this helps someone out, because no one deserves to feel like they’re groping in the dark when it comes to something as vital as your identity.

(if there’s something that helped you out, message me, and i’ll add it to the list!)

definitions: what is aromanticism? (and all the other words associated with it)

AVEN Wiki — fairly basic. kind of clinical, really only for people with zero understanding of aromanticism. good as a tool to help explain to cishets.

About Asexuality and the Ace/Aro Spectrum — goes into the types of attraction that different people can experience. explains the difference between sexual and romantic orientation a little better.

That’s So Aromantic — a psychology today article that is a bit like the last source, but with more attached resources and extra definitions for words like queerplatonic and amatonormativity. 

Turtle Analogy — a cute sketchy comic that explains aspec orientations in the easiest possible way.

AACE Club Resources — some definitions about aro spec identities and more resources.

5 Myths About Aromanticism — a buzzfeed article. pretty self-explanatory, but something i had to come to grips with was all the stereotypes about aro people—that we’re cold, unloving, etc. this definitely helped with that.

Meet the Aromantics — stories from actual aros on their experiences with being aro, and what that meant for them. this helped a lot in validating my own feelings and experiences.

Aromantics Just Wanna Be Your Friend — a vice article. combines definition and testimony into one well-written package.

Amatonormativity — a definition, written by the person who coined the word. also includes its own resources that you may find helpful.

am i aromantic?

if you’re here, you’re probably already questioning your romantic orientation, or maybe you’re just trying to learn more about the subject. either way, this list, compiled by anagori, is things they’ve seen in themself and other people. they also have a really good linkspam.

so you’ve realized you’re aromantic. now what?

chances are you’re probably gonna want to read up some more on the subject, whether on aromanticism in general, or queerplatonic relationships, or alterous attraction. here’s a few things to help you do that.

Commitment in Relationships for Celibate Asexuals and Aromantics — this article just resonated with me in a way that i can’t fully explain. in it, the author (of whose pronouns i am unsure of) discusses levels of commitment, and how to attain them in an increasingly amatonormative world.

Experiences of Loving — an analysis on the different types of love and how powerful non-romantic love can be. 

related blogs to send asks to/follow any inactive blogs on this list are here purely for the archives.

Aro-Ace Place

Ace and Aro Positivity

Arospec Awareness Week — this links straight to their resources page, which was incredibly helpful. the blog itself is inactive.

Hugs and Squishes — a blog that showcases queerplatonic feelings and relationships, as well as intense platonic feelings. no romance involved.

Queerplatonic and Aromantic Advice — somewhat inactive, but the archive is useful.

Aro Ace Nesting Place

Aro Support — also inactive.

Asexual and Aromantic Support Group

A-Spec People Are Beautiful

Positivity and Reassurance Blog for A-Spec People