just one summer
wc: 17.4k | pairing: eunseok x fem!reader | genre: slow burn, summer love, mutual pining, gentle intimacy, introverted love, soft angst with comfort, emotional vulnerability
content warnings: mild angst, verbal argument / lovers' quarrels, crying / emotional scenes, smut MDNI!!!, first time, mentions of insecurity / fear of abandonment (in depth smut warnings below the cut)
author's note! hello lovelies <333 my second full fic! i've had the plot / idea for this fic in my head for a few months now. i had a first copy of it that i initially wrote, but this is my remastered version :) that being said, i've spent a lot of time on this couple and on this relationship!! it's a super gentle love story for my introverts out there, and perhaps i've fallen in love with this version of eunseok that i have created... i hope you guys enjoy and love them as much as i do. i have an epilogue for it, but i think it'll sit in my drafts until the right season comes around <3 & thx as always to my test reader bestie @karebearyu
đ: @jaellymint @lovsickie @namedinwinter @miutonz @alwayswonbinning @kkunyangz @wonnina
[smut warnings: consensual virginity loss, love making / emotional sex, groping, nipple play / sucking, yn kisses eunseok's tip.., marking, unprotected sex (yn is on birth control), fingering, handjob]
you had already been here for a week.
the town moved slowly, and so did you. youâd slipped into a rhythm without realizingâwaking around eight, making yourself tea or something simple to eat, then finding a corner of the house or garden where you could sit and read while the world stayed quiet. by late morning, youâd wander into town, where time felt like it had forgotten to hurry.
your afternoons changed depending on your mood. some days, you sat on the beach with your book, letting the wind flip the pages for you. other days, you floated aimlessly in the pool behind the house, watching the clouds drift by.
on your walks, youâd sometimes stop at the small market for fruit, or at the cafĂ© where the same old men played chess out front. the town belonged to themâthe lifelong locals, the retirees, the ones who spoke softly and carried the sea salt in their skin.
thatâs why he stood out.
the first time, it was just a glimpse. he passed by on a bike, the breeze pushing through his dark hair, the sleeves of his white linen shirt rolled to his elbows. you watched him until he turned the corner, wondering where someone like him was going in a place like this.
the second time, it was the market. he was holding a basket, quietly choosing peaches like it was something sacred. you didnât even realize youâd stopped walking until heâd disappeared down another row of stalls.
by the third day without seeing him, you started to wonder if youâd made him up. maybe your mind conjured himâthis beautiful boy with the quiet eyesâto fill the empty corners of your summer.
the sun had been gone for half an hour when you finally climbed out of the sea.
you hadnât meant to stay so long. but the water had been warm, the sky soft and heavy with clouds, and the hush of the waves had felt like something you didnât want to leave. youâd floated on your back for what felt like forever, watching the light drain from the sky, letting your thoughts drift like the tide.
now the breeze bit a little cooler. you walked slowly along the wet sand, water dripping from your fingertips, feet sinking with each step. you stopped for a moment to wring out your hair, then tugged your sweatshirt over your damp swimsuit, the fabric sticking slightly to your skin.
and thatâs when you saw him.
he was sitting in the sand not far aheadâalone, quiet, legs stretched out in front of him, a blanket beneath him like heâd been there for a while. his head turned just as you noticed him. his gaze met yours, steady, soft, and somehow familiar.
you froze. because all this time, you thought youâd been the one watching him. you never imagined he might have been watching you, too. for a long, still moment, neither of you spoke. then, his voiceâlow, gentle, like the night itself.
ânice night.â
you hesitated, glancing up at the thick clouds, the darkening sea.
âitâs a bit gloomy,â you said quietly.
a smile ghosted at the corner of his mouth. âthatâs not necessarily a bad thing.â
you shook your head, heart beating a little too fast now. âno. no, not at all. i justââ you looked down, scuffed your foot in the sand. âi guess it just got a little nicer.â
the blush on your cheeks felt warm despite the chill in the air. when you dared to glance up again, you found him blushing too, eyes shining faintly in the last of the light.
without a word, he shifted to the side, patting the empty space on his blanket.
you hesitated, then you crossed the sand and sank down beside him. close enough to feel his warmth, but not quite touching. the kind of closeness that made you aware of your every breath.
the two of you sat like that, listening to the waves, the sky deepening from slate to black.
âiâm eunseok,â he said after a long while, voice almost lost beneath the sound of the water. you told him your name, softly, like a secret. and that was enough. when the clouds finally broke and a few stars blinked through, he stood and offered his hand. âcan i walk you home?â
you nodded.
you barely spoke on the walk back. just your names exchanged, and the quiet understanding that he now knew where you lived, so he could find you again. and you hoped with everything in you that he would.
you thought maybe the sea air wouldâve made you tiredâbut all night, it was him you kept thinking about. how he sat there so quietly, as if he belonged to the night. how his voice was soft but certain. how he looked at you like heâd seen you, when no one else ever had.
you turned over a hundred what-ifs: what if he hadnât been there? what if you hadnât stayed out so long? what if you hadnât dared sit beside him?
what if youâd dreamed the whole thing?
but morning came, soft and gray, the clouds still hanging low, and you felt the pull of the outside. you werenât sure where you meant to goâjust that you needed air. you slipped on your shoes, pushed open the front door, and stepped into the quiet of the garden.
thatâs when you saw him.
outside your gate, leaning on his bike, head tilted like he wasnât sure if he should knock or wait, eyes lighting up the moment he saw you. you froze for just a second. then smiled, heart fluttering.
he straightened, hands resting on the handlebars. âhi.â
âhi.â your voice was soft, breathless without meaning to be.
he hesitated, then asked, âdo you have time?â
you didnât even have to think. âalways,â you said, the word slipping out easier than you expected. and it made him smileâthe kind of smile that felt like a secret between you. he pushed the gate open gently, nodding for you to follow.
you didnât ask where you were going. you liked the quiet between you. liked the way it felt to just walk beside him, matching his pace, your hands brushing once or twice and both of you pretending not to notice. he led you down a narrow path, one you hadnât explored yetâbetween wild grass and low trees, where the world felt small and yours alone.
after a while, you came to a hidden overlook. the sea spread out below, the town small and still behind you. gulls drifted slow in the sky. everything smelled like salt and pine.
âi come here when i donât want to think,â he said quietly, sitting on a rock and patting the spot next to him. âor when i want to think too much.â
you sat beside him, legs drawn up, head tilted to watch the sea. âwhat do you think about?â
he glanced at you, shy but honest. âright now? you.â
your breath caught. the sea murmured below, steady and low. the breeze lifted strands of your hair, cool against your cheek. you didnât know what to sayânot right awayâso you let the quiet settle again, warm between you.
he glanced sideways at you, half-shy, half-curious. âhave you always been this quiet?â
you smiled, tucking your knees closer. âmaybe. the same could go for you.â
he let out a soft laugh, low and almost self-conscious, and gave a little shrug that somehow felt like a whole story. i guess so.
another stretch of silence, but it wasnât empty. the kind that made you aware of your heartbeat, of the way the air seemed softer here, of how close his shoulder was to yours. finally, you spoke, your voice quiet as the breeze. âi thought i imagined you. when i saw you before. on the bike⊠at the market. i wasnât sure you were real.â
his eyes found yours, gentle and a little surprised. his voice was lower now, like it was just for you. âi thought the same,â he said. âexcept once i saw you once⊠it was like i saw you everywhere.â
that made your chest ache a little, in the best way. you looked down at your hands, smoothing your thumb over your knuckle. âwhere did you come from, anyways?â he asked.
âjust house-sitting,â you said. âfor my aunt and uncle. theyâre out of the country for the summer, and i was available.â
you realized, too late, that you hadnât asked him in returnâbut he didnât seem to mind. âiâm here for the summer, too,â he offered anyway. âhelping my grandparents run the bookstore in town.â
you smiled at that. âthe one with the green awning?â
he grinned. âthatâs the one.â
you fell into easy conversation after thatâsmall things, simple truths. how heâd come here for a week or two in the past, but never the whole summer. how you liked your tea. what book was in your bag right now. little pieces of yourselves offered up without thinking too much about it.
as the sun climbed, the clouds thinned, and the world brightened just enough to remind you of the time, your stomach grumbled softly, making you both laugh.
âcome on,â he said, standing and offering you a hand. again, you took it and followed him without asking the destination. he led you to a street food vendor, and he paid before you could pull out your own wallet.
you ate standing up, leaning against a low stone wall, watching the slow stirrings of the town. the food was warm in your hands, the kind of simple that tasted perfect because of the company. when you finished, he walked you home again, slower this time. like neither of you wanted to reach the gate.
at the top of your steps, he stopped, rubbing the back of his neck like he didnât want to leave. âcome by the bookstore tomorrow,â he said. âif you want. itâs⊠quiet there. but i think youâd like it.â
you smiled, heart warm. âiâd like that.â
âgood.â he lingered for just a beat longer, like there was more he wanted to say. then he gave a small nod and stepped back.
and you watched him go, already wishing it was tomorrow.
the next morning came soft and gray, clouds still heavy in the sky. you found yourself watching the clock, willing the time to pass faster. when you couldnât take it anymore, you slipped out the door, following the path down into town like your feet already knew the way.
the bookstore was easy to findâthe one with the green awning, tucked between the cafĂ© and an antiques shop, its windows lined with plants and old editions that looked like theyâd been sitting there for years. you hesitated on the step, heart beating quick with anticipation.
you saw him through the window, behind the counter, flipping through a hardcover. as if he belonged to this quiet place, as if he was part of its bones. he looked up, like he felt you there. and his face lit up in that soft, crooked way that made your stomach flip.
he met you at the door, holding it open. âyou came.â
âof course i came.â
he stepped aside to let you in, the little bell above the door chiming softly. âwelcome to my kingdom,â he teased, gesturing to the narrow aisles, the stacks of books that filled every corner. you laughed under your breath. âit suits you.â
the shop smelled like old paper and wood polish, warm and comforting. the kind of place where you wanted to lose track of time. âsit with me?â he asked, nodding behind the counter. you slipped around and sank onto the little stool beside his. your knees bumpedâjust barelyâand neither of you moved.
for a while, you watched him work. he checked inventory, stacked a few books, helped a quiet customer find something. every so often, heâd glance at you, and youâd both smile like you didnât mean to. when it slowed again, he nudged your shoulder gently with his. âcome on. letâs pick something out.â
âfor who?â
he tilted his head, grinning. âfor each other.â
you wandered together between the shelves, pointing things out, quietly debating, teasing a little, learning what the other liked. his fingers brushed yours once when you both reached for the same spine, and neither of you pulled away right away.
finally, he handed you a slim volume of poetry. âthis feels like you,â he said simply.
you gave him a novel, soft from many readings, with a girl on the cover who looked like she carried secrets. âand this feels like you.â
you returned to the counter, books in hand, and settled close again.
âwhat do you do? when youâre not house-sitting in small towns?â he asked, voice low like he didnât want to break the quiet of the shop.
âiâm in school,â you said. âpharmacy major. not very poetic, i guess.â
âi donât know,â he mused. âyouâre helping people. that sounds poetic to me.â
you looked at him, caught off guard by how genuine he was. âwhat about you?â
âliterature arts,â he said, rubbing the back of his neck, almost sheepish. âi want to go into publishing. or maybe editing. or maybe iâll just end up living in a bookstore.â
âthat wouldnât be so bad.â
he smiled at you, softer now. âno. not if you came to visit.â
your heart flipped again.
you stayed like that for hours. reading bits of the books to each other. sharing little things about your lives at school, your families, your favorite places to escape to when things felt too loud. your knees kept bumping beneath the counter. you didnât move them.
when it was time to go, he walked you to the door, reluctant. âsame time tomorrow?â he asked, hopeful but trying not to sound like it.
âsame time tomorrow,â you promised. and when you stepped out into the cloudy afternoon, the world felt a little warmer.
the next day bloomed soft and hazy, the kind of morning where the air smelled faintly of sea spray and wildflowers. when you reached the shop, you found him waiting outside, leaning on his bike, a second one propped beside him.
he straightened when he saw you, that familiar soft grin lighting up his face. âready?â
âfor what?â you teased, though you were already smiling, already eager.
âtrust me.â and you did.
the ride was slow, easy. the narrow road followed the curve of the coast, the sea glinting silver-blue to your left, fields and wild grass stretching to your right. the breeze tugged at your hair, cool against your skin, and the quiet between you felt comfortable now. not emptyâjust full of everything you werenât saying.
every so often, you glanced sideways at him. his profile in the morning light, the way the wind played with his hair, the soft focus in his eyes. beautiful. unreal.
when he stopped near a stretch of empty beach, you swung off your bike, brushing the hair from your face. âi never thought iâd be riding a bike with you,â you said, almost to yourself. âthe imaginary boy who looked so beautiful and windswept.â
he shot you a look, half amused, half shy. âyou flatter me.â
you laughed, nudging his arm lightly. âyou like it.â
âmaybe.â
the sand was cool beneath your feet as you stepped out of your shoes. the sky was soft gray, the water calm and endless. you pulled your sweatshirt over your head, suddenly aware of the way the air moved against your skin. he didnât stare, but you noticed his eyes flick toward you for just a second longer than necessary.
you felt his gaze, steady, quiet.
âwhat?â you asked, teasing.
he blinked. ânothing. just⊠you look nice.â
âyouâre bad at compliments.â
âyouâre bad at accepting them.â
before you could reply, he tugged his shirt over his head, revealing lean shoulders, smooth skin kissed faintly by the sun. you tried not to stare, but your mouth betrayed you. ânot too bad yourself, song eunseok.â
this time, both of you blushed, the kind of warmth that settled deep and made your chest feel light. the water was cool but welcoming as you waded in together. soon you were far enough to tread water, the world narrowing to just the two of you and the endless sea.
you floated near each other, quiet, sharing soft smiles, letting the waves rock you gently. your fingers brushed underwater once, and you didnât pull away. for a while, it felt like nothing else existed. just salt on your lips, the steady sound of your breaths, the space between you shrinking without meaning to.
when you finally made your way back to shore, you found a dry patch of sand and sat side by side, letting the sun and breeze do the work. your hair dripped onto your shoulders; his fell into his eyes until he pushed it back with one hand. neither of you hurried.
when it was time, you walked your bikes together, the ride slower this time, like you wanted the moment to last. he walked you all the way to your gate. you could feel your heart beating fasterânot just from the day, but from what you wanted to say.
you stopped, turning to him, courage building in your chest. âso when are you going to take me on a real date?â you asked, laughing softly, trying to sound casual but feeling anything but.
he blinked, caught off guard. the tips of his ears turned pink. âa real date?â he echoed, like he needed a second to process it.
you nodded, watching him, waiting.
he rubbed the back of his neck, that shy grin tugging at his mouth again. âi mean⊠yeah. i want to. i just didnât want toârush you. or mess it up.â
your heart ached, in the best way. âyouâre not messing anything up. i donât think you could.â
he met your gaze then, steadier, braver. âtomorrow night,â he said. âa real date. i promise.â
âiâll hold you to it,â you teased, but your smile was soft, full.
he lingered another moment, like he didnât want to go. âyou make it hard to leave, you know that?â and then he was gone, walking backwards a few steps before turning, glancing back at you once more.
you watched him until he disappeared down the path, your heart full of the day, and the promise of what came next.
you stood in front of the mirror, smoothing the soft white fabric down over your hips. the dress felt like air, like the sea breeze had woven it just for tonight. the delicate straps framed your shoulders, the bodice fitting you just right, and the skirt floated lightly when you shifted your weight. your cardigan hung loose over your armsâyou wouldnât need it yet, but something told you the night would carry you past sunset.
you looked at yourself and thought, this doesnât feel real. he doesnât feel real. but the way your heart raced at the thought of seeing him againâthat felt real. too real.
he was waiting at your gate, leaning against it, looking up at the sky like he was trying to steady himself. when his gaze dropped and found you, he went still for a second, like heâd forgotten how to breathe.
âwow,â he said, softly, almost like he didnât mean to say it out loud. his eyes traced the lines of you, from the soft white of your dress to the way the breeze played with your hair. âyou lookâŠâ
you raised a brow, biting back a smile. âwhat?â
âbeautiful.â it left him in a rush, like he couldnât hold it in.
your cheeks warmed. âyou clean up pretty well yourself.â
and he did. a crisp white shirt, sleeves rolled just so, loose slacks, his hair a little messier than usual from running a hand through it. he offered his hand without a word, and you took it without hesitation.
he led you down winding paths that opened up to the beachâthe world stained gold and rose by the sinking sun. a blanket was spread out, a basket waiting beside it, a lantern flickering softly as the light faded.
âyou planned this?â your voice came out smaller than you meant it to.
he rubbed the back of his neck, a little shy. âi tried.â
you both sat, close but not quite touching, and he unpacked the basketâfresh bread, fruit, a little jar of honey, pastries from the bakery. sparkling water that caught the light like stars in a bottle. simple. thoughtful. perfect.
you talked in soft voices, sharing quiet smiles, as the sun bled into the horizon. and after a while, as if heâd been working up to it all evening, he pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket.
âi wrote you something. itâs not much. i mean, i havenât known you that long, butâi wanted to.â
your heart beat louder. you unfolded it carefully, the paper warm from being in his hand.
i havenât known you long enough to write something grand. but long enough to know you feel like quiet mornings and books i never want to finish.
you feel like a sunset that makes me want to stay a little longer.
you told me to read that bookâ âshe had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, as if she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.â thatâs how you make me feel.
your throat tightened. you didnât know what to say, so you folded it gently and held it close. âyou make me feel that way too,â you managed. he smiled, soft and sure, like heâd waited his whole life to hear you say that.
the stars came out slowly, one by one. you slipped on your cardigan as the breeze cooled, and he shifted just enough to close the space between you, resting his hand where yours lay on the blanket. it wasnât intentionalâor maybe it was. either way, neither of you moved.
the night wrapped around you, salt in the air, the hush of the waves, the warmth of his skin against yours. when you turned to look at him, he was already watching you, his gaze so full of unspoken things that it made your breath catch.
he kissed youâslow, soft, sure. like heâd been waiting for this moment since the first time he saw you. your hand found his jaw, your thumb brushing the line of it, and he leaned into your touch like he couldnât help himself.
when you smiled against his lips, he kissed you again, slower this time, like he never wanted the night to end. like he wanted to memorize the taste of you, the warmth of you, the quiet wonder of sitting under the stars with you.
you stayed like that for a long timeâhearts racing, hands intertwined, heads tipped together as you whispered about nothing and everything. and when he walked you home, he didnât let go of your hand until he had to. âthank you for tonight,â he said, voice low, full of meaning.
âi should be the one thanking you,â you whispered back, heart too full for anything else. and he left you there at your gate, the night stretching out behind him, the promise of tomorrow already blooming between you.
you replayed every moment of that night.
the way he looked at you like you hung the stars yourself. the way his hand found yours so easily, so naturally. the way his kiss felt like a promise you hadnât dared to hope for.
but after that? nothing.
no quiet messages. no visits. no soft smiles from across the street.
the bookstore sat closed the two times youâd passed it. your heart sank each time, but you told yourself heâs busy. thereâs a reason. there has to be.
but the days kept passing, and the silence stretched too long.
you tried not to spiral. you tried to focus on your books, the sea, the breeze that always felt lonelier without him. but you found yourself wonderingâdid he ghost me? was that all it was to him?
your mind whispered through every detail, overanalyzing. we had one date. maybe it was just that to him. maybe i imagined the rest.
the storm came hard and fast on the seventh night. wind rattled the windows, rain lashed the world outside, thunder rolled low and unending. you sat curled on the couch, cardigan wrapped tight, watching the storm like it might give you an answer.
you didnât expect the knock, but there it wasâfrantic, loud, desperate.
you ran to the door, heart in your throat, and swung it open.
there he was. soaked through, hair dripping, chest rising and falling like heâd run the whole way. eyes wild, searching for you.
âeunseok?â your voice cracked.
âiâm sorry,â he gasped out, breathless. âiâm so sorry. i shouldâveâi didnât mean toââ
you grabbed his wrist and tugged him inside before the rain could drown him. âare you crazy? youâre going to get sick!â
he stood there, water pooling at his feet, and still all he could say was, âiâm sorry. i didnât mean to disappear. my grandpaâhe had to go to the hospital in the city and it all happened so fast and i shouldâve called, i shouldâve found a way to tell you butââ
your emotions rushed out before he could say more. âyou didnât mean to disappear? eunseok, itâs been a week.â your voice shook, but you couldnât stop. âiâve been here, wondering if i imagined it allâif you even liked me, if that date meant anything to you.â
his mouth opened, but you went on, the words spilling like the rain outside. âdo you know what it felt like? waiting? checking my phone, thinking maybe youâd come by the house, or the bookstore, or something. i went to your shopâyou werenât there, no note, nothing. not a word. nothing.â
he looked stricken, eyes wide, tears mixing with the rain on his face. âyn, iâpleaseâi didnât want to hurt you. i didnât want you to thinkââ
but your voice rose, hurt and angry and breaking all at once. âwhat was i supposed to think? did i do something wrong? was it all just in my head? i felt so stupid for hopingââ
âyn, noâgod, noââ
he tried to step closer, but you instinctively took a small step back, overwhelmed. your voice dropped, trembling. âi waited for you. i wanted to see you. and you were just gone.â
he shook his head, rain dripping from his hair, hands clenched at his sides. âit happened so fast. iâve been with him, helping my family, i didnât know how to reach you. i didnât want you to think i didnât careââ
his words tumbled over each other, panicked and desperate, his breath ragged. âi thought about you every day. every second. i couldnât stop thinking about how it mustâve looked, how you mustâve feltâi hated myself for notââ
âeunseok.â
but he kept going, voice breaking. ââfinding a way to tell you, for leaving you in the dark, forââ
âeunseok.â
his eyes flicked up, wild, like he hadnât truly seen you until now. you stepped forward, voice soft, tears blurring your vision. âeunseok!â he stopped, finally meeting your eyes. you didnât realize you were both crying until you felt the tears slide warm down your cheeks.
âyouâre here now,â you said, voice trembling. âthatâs what matters.â
but his guilt kept pouring out faster than the rain outside. âi shouldâveââ
you kissed him. you kissed him to shut him up, to quiet the storm inside him, to quiet the storm inside you. his hands rose, unsure at first, then desperate, holding you like he was afraid youâd slip away. when you pulled back, you both gasped for air, foreheads pressed together, tears mixing with rain.
the house was dark, only the soft flicker of candlelight illuminating his soaked form, the way his eyes searched yours like he was still afraid this was a dream.
âcome here,â you whispered. âcome hold me.â
âiâm soaked,â he said, shaking his head, but his voice cracked.
âi donât care. iâve been so cold.â
he let you pull him onto the couch. neither of you spoke. the storm outside spoke for youâthe soft drum of rain on the roof, the occasional low rumble of thunder, the sigh of wind against the windows. his body was cold and damp against yours, but it didnât matter. you pressed into him, curling your arms around his middle, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.
his arms came around you, tentative at first, then tighterâlike he was learning you, like he was memorizing how you fit against him. and for a while, that was all it was. the two of you breathing together, hearts slowly calming in sync.
you felt his heartbeat beneath your cheekâquick, nervous, real. you wanted him closer. you needed him closer. your hands slipped beneath his wet shirt, fingertips brushing the warm skin of his back. he shivered at the contact, but didnât pull away. he only held you tighter, like youâd anchored him to the earth.
your palms flattened against him, pressing him impossibly nearer, as if you could close the space that had hurt so much the past week. as if you could keep him with you, right here, right now.
the fear hit you, sharp and soft at once. what are we? what if i fall and he leaves? what if this hurts later?
you swallowed hard, blinking fast, but the tears came anyway. he felt itâthe way your breath hitched, the way your shoulders trembled just slightly against him. without a word, his hand rose, smoothing gently over your damp hair, as if to soothe both of you.
he pressed his lips to the top of your head. a soft, steadying kiss. one that said iâm here.
you closed your eyes, breathed him in. felt the shape of him, the warmth beneath the cold. and for a moment, the storm wasnât so loud.
the power was still out. the only light between you came from the flickering flame of a single candle youâd set on the coffee table. its glow made everything feel softerâthe room, the storm, even him.
finally, after the quiet had stretched long and fragile, you spoke. your voice tried to come out teasing, but it wavered, cracked just slightly at the edges. âso⊠did you really think about me every day?â
his gaze flicked to yours, and you saw itâhow the question hit him right in the heart. he gave a soft, breathy laugh, almost disbelieving. âyeah,â he said, simply, truthfully. âevery single day. probably more than was healthy.â
you wanted to smile. you tried. but your chest ached with everything youâd felt this past week. you lowered your eyes for a second, gathering your courage, then looked back up at him.
âi like you,â you whispered. the words felt big. you forced yourself to keep going. âi like you a lot. and i hated feeling so stupid for hoping⊠for wanting this to be something real.â
he didnât hesitateânot for a breath. âit is real. yn, itâs so real it scared me.â
your heart clenched at the softness in his voice. he reached out, his fingers brushing yours, tentative but sure. âiâve never felt like this before. not this fast. not this deep. iâm sorry i hurt you. i swear i didnât mean to.â
the power flickered back on then, bathing the room in sudden warm light. neither of you moved. you just stared at each other, memorizing, breathing, feeling. you lifted your hand, fingertips ghosting over his cheek, thumb resting beneath his eye. his skin was cool, but his gaze burned into yours.Â
âyou donât look real,â you said softly. âyou donât feel real.â
he leaned into your touch, eyes closing for just a second. âiâm real,â he said. âiâm right here.â
the moment hung there, weightless and full of meaning. you smiled, small and shy. âdo you want to shower here?â
he hesitated, glancing down at his soaked clothes. âtempting, but⊠whatâs the point? my clothes are still wet. might as well go home.â
then his eyes lifted back to yours, vulnerable, open. âi donât want to leave. not yet.â
you didnât want him to leave either. but you nodded, standing. âokay⊠let me make us something before you go. you need to warm up more.â
he watched you disappear into the kitchen, busying yourself with tea, with small snacks, with anything that kept your hands moving so your heart didnât burst.
while you werenât looking, he reached into his bag, pulled out a scrap of paper, and wrote. wrote the things he hadnât said out loud.
the letter:
yn,
i donât know how to say all this when youâre looking at me, so iâm writing it down.you scare me, in the best way. how fast youâve taken up space in my heart. how much i want to be near you.iâm sorry for hurting you. i never want to do that again.i want to know you. i want to make this count. i want you to know i see you, and youâre not something i imagined either.
i hope youâll let me show you how much i mean this.
(and because i donât want to risk losing you againâ)hereâs everything:my number, my email, my instagram, my everything.
no more disappearing. not when it comes to you.
âeunseok
when you returned, he tucked it into your book on the coffee table, where he knew youâd find it once he left.
he didnât say much more before finally dragging himself up, murmuring, âthank you. for tonight. for not shutting me out.â and as he stepped out into the nightâhis hand lingering a little too long on yoursâyou felt, somehow, like youâd just found something worth holding onto.
you found his letter before bed, folded delicately and tucked between the pages of your book. he mustâve slipped it there without you noticing.
you recognized his handwriting immediately. neat but a little rushed, like he had too much to say and not enough space to say it. you read it once, then again, each sentence blooming in your chest like sunlight after rain. you sat in silence for a while afterward, hands in your lap, the note still open beside you. your heart felt too full to speak, to even think clearly. and before you could second-guess yourself, you grabbed your phone.
[you] when are you free?
[eunseok] tomorrow, anytime for you
[you] come over to swim? and a movie
[eunseok] do i get to hold your hand this time?
[you] maybe if you behave
[eunseok] iâll be there early
you spent all afternoon getting everything ready. the outdoor couch was fluffed with soft pillows and layered blankets. you strung fairy lights from the fence to the trees, letting them fall just low enough to cast a gentle golden hue across the yard. the projector was already set, the screen draped against the siding of the house.
he arrived just before sunset, a hoodie pulled over his head, his usual canvas bag slung over his shoulder.
âhey,â you greeted softly, heart skipping at the sight of him.
âhey,â he echoed, his voice low and warm as ever. your eyes met, and the quiet stretchedâcomfortable, close, familiar.
âcome on,â you said, breaking into a smile. âyou promised to behave.â
âi didnât promise anything,â he murmured, brushing past you with the smallest, shyest smirk. âyou just assumed.â
the water was cool on your skin as you floated beside him, your shoulders just barely touching now and then as you drifted closer and then apart again. you giggled when he splashed you gently, and in return, you cupped your hands and sent a soft wave of water in his direction. it was nothing wild or dramatic, just gentle. playful. like the two of you were figuring each other out without needing to say much at all.
at one point, he caught you by the waistâcarefully, like you might disappearâand lifted you slightly before letting you slip back into the water with a laugh.
you turned toward him, face flushed and eyes bright. his expression softened when he saw you smiling.
âyouâre beautiful,â he said so quietly you almost didnât hear it.
your breath caught. âwhat?â
ânothing,â he murmured quickly, cheeks tinged with pink. âjust⊠you look happy.â
you bit your bottom lip, eyes lingering on his. âi am.â
and he smiled back, small and real.
you changed before the movieâslipping into your softest loungewear: a delicate knit tank and matching shorts, barely-there fabric that felt like a second skin. you didnât think much of it until you came outside and caught the way he looked at you. his eyes widened slightly, his breath audibly caught in his throat before he averted his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck. âsorry,â he mumbled.
âfor what?â you asked, trying not to smile.
âyou justââ he swallowed. âlook pretty.â
your cheeks warmed. âthank you. i was just getting comfortable.â
he nodded, eyes still downcast. âcomfortableâs good.â
you sat beside him on the outdoor couch, pulling the blanket over both of you. his thigh brushed against yours. he didnât move.
neither did you.
you played Spirited Away on the projector, both of you curled under the blankets, limbs slowly drawn together over the course of the film. you rested your head against his shoulder, and he quietly pressed his cheek to the top of your head.
you couldâve stayed there forever. but partway through the movie, the first drops of rain tapped gently at the fabric of the couch.
you froze, then sat up. ânoâno, it wasnât supposed to rain.â
eunseok blinked slowly, watching you.
âi had more planned,â you said, a little too fast. âa playlist, dessert, i was gonnaâugh.â
he just smiled.
âyouâre not upset?â you asked, frustrated at yourself for being visibly sulky.
âno,â he said. âi like the rain.â
you stared at him.
he reached for your hand, squeezing lightly. âit reminds me of you.â
your heart jumped.
âthat first night out on the beach. it was cloudy and gray, and i kept thinking how soft the world felt around you.â
you looked at him, stunned.
âiâm not here for the plans,â he said gently. âiâm here for you. thatâs what makes it perfect.â
your throat tightened, and you didnât know what to say. so you nodded and let him lead you inside.
you restarted the movie from the couch, this time with your legs draped over his lap again and your body pulled close. your mood was still quiet, uncertainâbut he reached for you anyway, gently guiding your head against his shoulder.
âyou okay?â he whispered.
you nodded. but when he rested his hand over yours, you turned it over and kissed the back of itâsoft and slow, like a thank you.
he looked at you, gaze flickering between your lips and your eyes. then kissed you, once. then again.
your hand slipped to the nape of his neck, and you kissed him like you had something to prove. your lips parted slightly, moving with more certainty this time, and he exhaled through his nose, tilting his head to deepen it.
he kissed you slowly, fully, his hand resting just beneath your tank top at your waist. he didnât rush. didnât take more than you offered. he just held you and kissed you and made you feel like nothing else existed.
it wasnât a grand declaration or a sudden shift in the air. it was the way the days began to melt into one another, soft and golden, each one strung to the next by shared laughter, quiet glances, and fingers brushing in passing.
like a slow tide pulling you both in.
sometimes, you just listened to each other breathe. there were more beach days.
heâd tug your hand as you walked barefoot through the warm sand, guiding you toward the shoreline without saying a word. youâd splash each other, laugh until your stomach ached, and then float side by side in the water, arms and legs outstretched, letting the waves rock you gently.
you didnât need to talk. not really. everything you felt shimmered in the silence between you.
you rode bikes again, this time with no real destinationâjust two bodies in motion, chasing the ocean breeze. he taught you how to ride hands-free, and when you failed, he reached out and steadied you by the waist, his laugh warm in your ear.
he started cooking at your place. the first time, he wore one of your auntâs old apronsâwhite with tiny cherries on itâand looked absolutely unbothered. âdonât laugh,â he warned, eyes narrowed playfully.
âiâm not,â you smiled, biting your lip. âyou just look⊠committed.â
he taught you how to make a dish, gently guiding your hands and correcting your knife technique with the softest patience. âyou donât have to be good,â he murmured. âyou just have to try.â
you set the table while he finished plating, and he kissed your cheek just before you sat down to eat. you blushed so hard you forgot how to hold your spoon.
you visited the bookstore more regularly, sometimes just to sit behind the counter with him and do nothing at all. he always saved you a spotâtucked behind the desk, cross-legged on a cushion, with a small stack of books he thought you might like.
you shared music through one earbud each, working in silence, his knee occasionally bumping yours under the table. once, you fell asleep with your head on his shoulder, and he let you rest there for a full hour.
every night, when he walked you home, you found yourselves lingering outside your gate. you never wanted to say goodbye first. you always waited until he kissed you gently, like he was promising to see you again the next morning. and he always did.
you didnât need to say it aloud. you were both falling.
slowly. surely. like the quiet descent of the moon into the sea. and you wondered, privately, what the end of this would look like.
because every day, you were beginning to feel like this wasnât just summer. this was something real. something youâd carry with youâno matter how far you had to go.
he only sent one message.
[eunseok] wear your big girl clothes tonight.
you stared at your phone for longer than you shouldâve, reading the message over and over again until your heart fluttered like it had somewhere to be.
your big girl clothes.
you opened your suitcase and pulled out the black mini dress you hadnât dared wear yetâa fitted House of CB number with soft, ruched fabric and a sweetheart neckline that framed your chest a little too perfectly. it cinched right at your waist, and you found yourself adjusting it in the mirror longer than necessary, cheeks warm.
you sprayed your perfume just onceâright at the dip between your collarbones, letting it settle there like a secret you wanted him to find. your hands shook slightly as you touched up your lips. why were you so nervous?
because it was eunseok. because you liked him. because you were falling. and tonight, something felt different.
he was waiting for you outside your gate, leaning back slightly against the stone wall, dressed in head-to-toe black.
he looked unfairly good. his shirt clung to his frame just right, sleeves cuffed at the wrists, collar open at the neck. his black trousers sat high on his waist, legs long and clean, and his hairâhis hair was styled back, revealing that sharp forehead and the soft slope of his brows.
he looked up the moment he heard the gate click open. and when he saw you, his entire face softened.
you saw his eyes drop just slightlyâjust long enough to notice the dress, the way it hugged you, the shape of you framed by the faint light from the porch. he blinked once, then again.
"hi," you said, suddenly shy.
he didnât speak for a second.
âyou smell like you,â he finally said, voice quieter than usual. âbut more dangerous.â
you bit back a smile. âthatâs the perfume.â
his eyes lingered on your chest for a half-second too long before he looked away quickly, ears red. âi noticed.â
he led you through the town by hand, wordless but warm. the evening air was thick with salt and musicâdistant chatter from diners and the sound of the tide shifting just beyond the hill.
when you reached the tucked-away bar, it felt like entering another world.
the space was dim and intimate, with warm amber lights strung across wooden beams. soft jazz floated from a small stage near the back, where a band played with easy, practiced rhythm. the bar sat right at the edge of a cliff, windows open to the ocean breeze, the waves crashing gently below.
eunseok pulled out your chair. you couldnât stop looking at him. âwhat is this place?â you asked, heart full already.
âmy secret spot,â he said, leaning forward. âthought it deserved someone special tonight.â
you smiled so hard your cheeks hurt.
dinner was slow and lovely, every bite punctuated with teasing glances and quiet laughter. he refilled your wine glass each time it got low, brushed his fingers against yours when he passed you the bread.
he complimented you halfway through the meal, unprompted.
âyou look unreal tonight,â he said suddenly, eyes on your lips. âlike a painting. butâlike, if the painting could kill a man.â
you blushed so hard you had to hide behind your water glass.
he just watched you, pleased.
after dinner, as the band began to play something slower, he stood and offered his hand.
âdance with me?â
you took it without a second thought.
the two of you moved together quietlyâbodies swaying in slow rhythm. he held you like he didnât want to let go, hand steady at your waist, the other wrapped in yours.
your head rested against his chest, the smell of his cologne, faint and clean, filling your nose. he was warm. solid. real.
âi wish this night would last longer,â you whispered, barely above the music.
he dipped his head so his lips brushed your ear. âme too.â
he walked you home under a full moon, fingers interlaced, your feet aching in your heels as you walked through the sleepy streets. it was quiet. still. like the whole world had gone still just for you two.
he stopped in front of your gate and looked at you.
his hair had fallen slightly, a few strands brushing his forehead. his shirt was wrinkled from dancing. his lips were slightly pink from wine. and he was smiling at you like you were something precious.
you didnât want to say goodbye.
âstay,â you said, heart in your throat.
his smile faltered. âwhat?â
âjust⊠stay tonight.â you stepped closer, suddenly shy. âi donât want this to end.â
he studied you for a beat, then nodded slowly.
âokay,â he said, voice soft. âokay.â
you reached for his hand, guiding him inside with a quiet thrill fluttering in your chest.
tonight, you werenât just infatuated. you were in love.
when you step inside, the hush of the night follows you.
neither of you say anything as the door closes behind. itâs like words would only break whatever magic youâre caught in.
eunseok drops the keys gently on the counter. you slip off your shoes. the wine from dinner still buzzes softly in your veins, but itâs nothing compared to the feeling of him beside you.
he reaches for your hand. you let him pull you toward the couch, where you both collapse in a quiet heapâyour limbs tangled, his chest against your back at first, then you roll until youâre face to face, curled together. your nose bumps his shoulder. his breath warms your temple. youâre not even sure how long you lay like thatâjust holding, breathing, hearts thudding softly in sync.
âdrunk?â you murmur.
âoff the wine?â he hums.
you laugh into his shirt. âno. off me.â
he pulls back enough to look at you, one brow raised.
âbecause i am,â you admit, your voice gentle. âon you.â
his eyes soften. âsame.â
your fingers drift down to his hand, playing with his knuckles, tracing his lifeline. you twist his pinky gently, make it wave. he watches you quietly, like heâs committing the image to memory.
you glance up and find him looking at you differently tonight. not like he wants something from you. just like he wants you.
âwhat are you thinking about?â you ask, pushing his hair back. it falls right back into his eyes. you try again, brushing your thumb along his temple, and then down, softly tracing his cheekbone. he closes his eyes.
âyou,â he whispers.
you still.
his lashes flutter open. âiâve been thinking about you since the day we met. maybe even before that, when i just saw you. glimpses. itâs like you existed in the quietest parts of my brain. and then suddenly, there you were. floating in the water. looking so sad and calm and beautiful all at once.â
you donât say anything. just keep watching him. his voice lowers. âi didnât know i could feel something this real. something so quiet and sure. but with you, itâs not just wanting. itâs needing. and hoping. andââ he pauses to breathe. âand i love you.â
your heart slips sideways in your chest. he looks like he means it with his whole body. like heâs terrified and relieved and everything in between.
âi love you,â he says again, barely a breath. âi had to say it tonight or iâd regret it.â
you lean in, pressing your forehead to his. your voice is fragile, but steady. âi love you too. i think⊠i think iâve been waiting for something like this. not even realizing it. just always hoping love would feel like this. quiet. but full.â
he kisses you then. itâs soft at firstâlike heâs asking for permission with every movement. your hands slide up his neck, into his hair, anchoring him to you.
you melt into him, breath hitching when he shifts closer, when his hand slips under the strap of your dress. the world shrinks to this momentâhis lips, his warmth, the soft sighs shared between you.
your heart races but not from nerves. from the knowing. this isnât just infatuation. not just a fling. this is falling. and when he kisses you again, deeper this time, like he wants to feel every inch of your soulâthereâs no more doubt. you let yourself get lost in him. in his hands. in his whisper of your name between kisses.
when he pulls away to look at you, youâre breathless. you took his hand, fingers lacing through his, and brought it to your lips for a small kiss before rising to your feet.
neither of you said a word.
just the sound of your breathing, your heart loud in your ears as you gently wrapped your fingers around his wrist. you felt the steady beat under your touchâhis pulse, strong and quick, just like yours. his eyes searched yours, wide and filled with wonder as you quietly led him down the hallway toward your room, the pads of your bare feet pressing into the cool floor.
the door clicked softly shut behind you.
still holding his wrist, you turned to face him, bringing his hand up toward the thin straps of your dress. he followed your lead without speaking, fingertips ghosting over your shoulder. you exhaled, guiding his touch to slide the straps down slowly.
your skin prickled in the silence. then, without looking back, you reached for your hair and gathered it up, exposing the curve of your neck and spine to him.
âcan youâŠ?â you asked softly, nodding toward the zipper at the back.
his fingers hesitated against the fabric. âare you sure?â
you nodded, still holding your hair up. âi love you. and i want to do thisâwith you. for you.â
he pressed a kiss to your shoulder first, reverent and sweet, before moving to the zipper. he was so slowâlike he didnât want to rush, like he wanted to feel every breath of this moment with you. the sound of it lowering felt louder than it shouldâve. each inch he unzipped was followed by the soft graze of his fingers over your back.
when the fabric finally slipped down to the floor, a hush settled in the room.
you stepped out of the dress, standing before him in only your pantiesâlace ones you hadnât worn before, ones youâd saved for someone you loved. his eyes traced every part of you, his jaw slack with awe. you brought his hand to your chest, letting him cup you fully.
âyou can touch me,â you whispered, guiding him. âi want you to.â
his hands were warm and gentle, cupping your breasts like he was trying to memorize the weight of them. you tilted your head up and kissed him again, slow and open-mouthed, letting your tongue slide against his.
 your kiss was soft at firstâthen deeper, laced with urgency, emotion. you gasped into it when his other hand found your waist, fingers digging into your skin like he couldnât bear not to be touching you.
he gasped softly when you started working at the buttons of his shirt, palms moving over his chest as it opened. you let it fall from his shoulders, fingers slipping over his collarbones, down his stomach. he was firm and lean beneath your hands, skin flushed pink.
his hands came up to your cheeks, cradling you with such tenderness it almost made you cry. when you found his belt and unfastened it, his breath stuttered. pants hit the floor, leaving him in his boxersâalready tented, his thighs tense.
you leaned forward, kissed him againâthis time hungrier. he lifted you with a breathless sound, carrying you the rest of the way to the bed.
you let out a soft, surprised laugh as your legs wrapped instinctively around his waist. his hold was secure, strong. he carried you to the bed as if you weighed nothing and gently laid you back onto the sheets, your hair fanning across the pillow.
he leaned over you, forehead resting gently against yours, one hand braced beside your head and the other holding your waist like you might float away.
âyouâre so soft,â he whispered, almost to himself. âso lovely.â
you pulled him down with you, into a kiss that grew hungrier the longer your lips stayed connectedâtongues tangling, breaths stolen, soft gasps exchanged like promises.
his hand returned to your chest, cupping you again, but this time rougher, more confident. his thumb brushed over your nipple and you whimpered into his mouth. he broke the kiss to trail his lips down your jawline, down your neck, nipping and licking, sucking softly.
âyouâre so perfect,â he whispered, breath hot against your skin.
your fingers found his hair and tugged, and he moaned as he pressed his mouth to your chest, pulling one nipple between his lips. your back arched as he teased it with his tongue, then moved to the other, squeezing the breast in his hand. when he grazed your nipple with his teeth, your breath hitched. he soothed the spot with his mouth again and you tugged him back up, crashing your lips together once more.
your kisses moved this timeâyour lips on his cheeks, his temples, his neck. every small peck felt like a whispered secret, a vow you hadnât said aloud yet.
when you found the hollow of his collarbone, you sucked a mark into the skin, mumbling, âall mine,â before kissing down his chest. your hand slid between your bodies, pressing against the hardness straining his boxers.
âfuckâyn,â he breathed, hips twitching under your palm.
you looked up at him through your lashes. âcan i take these off?â
he nodded quickly, voice shaky. âyeah⊠yeah, of course.â
he lifted his hips to help, and when he was bare before you, you wrapped your hand around him gentlyâsoft but deliberate. his breath caught. your strokes were slow at first, admiring the weight of him, the warmth. then your grip tightened and your pace picked up, and he groaned, falling forward to press his forehead to yours.
you kissed him again, drinking in every moan he gave you, and his hands gripped at the sheets like he didnât know what to do with himself.
âyn, iâmââ he gasped, âiâm closeââ
you pulled your hand away.
his eyes fluttered open in shock. âwhâ?â
âsorry,â you whispered, grinning against his lips. âiâm greedy.â
before he could ask what you meant, you kissed him again, then slowly trailed your way back down. and when you finally planted a single wet kiss on his tip, his whole body jolted.
âshitâyn,â he choked out, his voice airy, wrecked.
âcouldnât help myself,â you said, breathless, crawling back up his body.
he cupped your face again, like he always did. âdonât apologize.â
you kissed his palm. then you brought his hand between your legs, tucking his fingers under the band of your panties.
âfeel me, seok,â you murmured. âi need you.â
you both gasped when his fingers touched your clitâhis thumb circling the swollen bud so gently it made your thighs twitch.
âfuck,â he whispered. âyouâre so warm⊠so wet.â
you whimpered. âinside. please.â
he didnât rush. his fingers slipped lower, exploring, learning. and when he finally pressed one inside of you, you clenched hard around him. he moaned at the feeling.
âyou feel so fucking good,â he said, eyes wide and dark.
he added a second finger, then a third, pumping them slowly as he pressed his lips to yours again. the stretch made your breath catch, but it also made your body come alive.
your forehead pressed to his, your breathing stuttering. âeunseokâi love you,â you whispered.
he kissed you again, over and over. âi love you too, yn. i love you so much.â
his fingers curled, and you cried out as heat bloomed deep in your belly. his thumb returned to your clit and rubbed small circles, coaxing you over the edge.
you came undone with a moan of his name, hips stuttering as your climax hit hard and fast.
he held you through it, kissing your temple, his fingers slowing but not leaving you yet. your body trembled.
when the aftershocks faded, he kissed your forehead. âare you okay for one more?â
you opened your eyes and smiled sleepily. âsong eunseok, if you aren't inside of me soon, i might cry.â
he laughed softly at your words, eyes crinkling as he leaned down to press a lingering kiss to your cheek.
âyouâre cute,â he teased under his breath, but his gaze was full of reverence.
his lips found yours again, slower this time, mouths moving in sync like you had all the time in the world. one of his hands caressed your waist while the other moved to stroke your thigh, kneading the flesh before hooking it around his hip. he paused with his tip nudging at your entrance, eyes locked with yours.
you nodded silently, both hands pressed to the sides of his face. âyou can⊠i want this. i want you.â
he kissed you softly, his voice low. âif i asked you to come closer, would you?â
you smiled. âiâd never leave.â
and then he pushed in, inch by inch, letting you feel every stretch, every shift.
you gasped, arms tightening around his back, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.
âyouâre doing so good, baby,â he whispered, kissing the tears before they could fall. âiâll stop if you need me to. you just have to say.â
âdonât stop,â you breathed, holding his face. âyouâre just⊠really big.â
he groaned, burying his face in your neck as he sank in deeper. âfuckâdonât say that, yn⊠iâll lose my mind.â
your legs wrapped around his waist as he bottomed out, and for a moment, you both just breathedâchests rising and falling, bodies finally one.
he pulled back slightly, and your lips met again. slow.
âmove,â you whispered into his mouth.
and he did.
each thrust was slow and deep, angled just right. his hips rolled into yours, and with each stroke, your breath hitched. he moved like he was memorizing youâhow you gasped, how you clenched, how your fingers dug into his back when it got too good.
âyouâre so perfect,â he groaned, âi donât know how i lived without this.â
you kissed him again, needy now, whispering, âiâm gonna get addicted to you.â
âgood,â he said, his thrusts picking up. âbecause iâm already obsessed.â
his words made your walls flutter and he gasped, losing rhythm for a second.
âfuckâyn⊠you were made for me. and i was made for you.â
you whimpered. âi feel so full. like i was made to hold you.â
he moaned, hips stuttering.
âwhere do you want me?â he asked breathlessly. âbaby, tell meââ
âinside,â you cried out. âplease. iâm on the pill, justâjust donât pull out.â
âgod, yn,â he said through clenched teeth, kissing your lips again. âi love you.â
your hands found his cheeks, cradling his face as he chased his high. you watched the way his eyes fluttered shut, the way he gasped when he felt you pulse around him again.
your climax came firstâhot and powerfulâyour mouth falling open as you clenched tightly around him. you dragged your nails down his back as you sobbed his name, and that was all it took.
he followed you with a strangled moan, warmth flooding inside of you in long, slow waves. he didnât stop moving right away, letting you ride it out togetherâbreathless, messy, completely consumed.
you held him to you when his weight collapsed against yours, both of you panting, your chests sticky with sweat.
âyouâre the only one whoâs seen me this way,â you whispered into his ear.
his head lifted, eyes blown and soft. âi was your first?â
you nod.
he didnât say anything at first.
just looked at you.
his brows slightly pulled together, lips parted like he couldnât find the right wordsânot because he was shocked, but because he didnât want to say the wrong thing. the pads of his fingers brushed over your cheek as his eyes searched yours, wide and unreadable.
âyou shouldâve told me,â he said quietly, voice fragile like the hush of waves through the open window.
you smiled faintly, eyes glassy from the emotions swirling inside you. âwould it have changed anything?â
his thumb ghosted across your lips. âno,â he admitted. âjust⊠i wouldâve gone even slower. held you longer. memorized every sound you made.â
your throat tightened at that. âyou did all of that anyway.â
a pause. âyou gave me something no one else ever will. not just your body, but⊠your trust. your love. all of you.â his voice cracked slightly at the end, and his gaze dropped for a moment. âi justâi want you to know that i donât take any of it lightly. not even a little.â
you could see the earnestness in his face, in the furrow of his brow and the way he pressed his lips to your forehead like a quiet promise.
âit was never just about the sex,â he whispered. âi love you, yn. youâre it for me.â
your breath hitched, something warm blooming behind your ribs. you nudged your nose against his. âyouâre it for me, too.â
he kissed you again, this time slowerâless like he needed you and more like he had you, and that was enough. he pulled out carefully, brushing his lips over your shoulder as he whispered, âlet me clean you up.â
you nodded, still blinking back tears.
he returned a minute later with a warm towel, and the gentleness in his touch made you feel everything all over again. you watched him in silence as he cleaned you up like it was second nature to himâtender, patient, reverent.
âcome here,â you whispered when he was done, reaching for him with outstretched arms.
he slid back under the covers and gathered you into his chest, your cheek resting over his heartbeat. his hand rubbed slow circles into your back, his other arm curled around your waist.
âdo you feel okay?â he murmured after a moment, kissing the top of your head.
âbetter than okay.â
he smiled into your hair. âyouâre incredible. you know that, right?â
you shook your head, and he kissed your temple again like he was trying to convince you.
moonlight spilled softly through the windows, casting faint silver streaks across the floor and the tangled sheets wrapped loosely around your legs. the only sound was the slow rise and fall of your breath as you curled into his chest, your fingertips absentmindedly tracing the curve of his collarbone.
eunseok had gone quiet.
not in the way that meant he had nothing to sayâbut in the way where everything he wanted to say was in the way his hand moved slowly over your back, the way his lips rested against the crown of your head.
you tilted your head up just slightly. the moonlight hit his features just rightâdark lashes, soft eyes, slightly flushed cheeks, lips still kiss-bitten and warm. and for a moment, all you could do was look. you didnât say it right away. it sat on your tongue like the taste of something sweet you didnât want to swallow too soon.
âeunseok?â you whispered.
his hand stilled, then resumed its slow rhythm. âmm?â
you reached up, brushing his hair gently from his eyes. your fingers lingered along the curve of his cheekbone, and he leaned into your touch without hesitation.
âyouâre like the moon to me,â you said quietly.
his brow furrowed just slightly in confusion, a small tilt to his head. âthe moon?â
you nodded, heart hammering.
âyou donât chase like the sun,â you explained, your voice steady but low. âyou wait. you watch. you light up the dark without trying to outshine anything else.â
you took a breath, eyes locked on his. âyouâre soft and constant. the kind of quiet that makes everything feel okay.â he blinked, and his hand tightened just a little at your waist.
âand even when youâre not right beside me⊠i feel you. like youâre always there. always watching. always waiting.â
a silence stretched between you. not uncomfortableâjust heavy with emotion. he looked at you like he didnât know how heâd go this long without hearing those words before.
âynâŠâ he whispered, voice catching on the swell of his feelings.
you smiled, a bit shy, heart open and beating wildly in your chest. âi mean it.â
he brought a hand up to your face, cradling it like you were something sacred. his thumb brushed the edge of your jaw, then your cheek. âyou have no idea what you do to me,â he murmured. âyouâre⊠i donât even have words.â
you leaned forward and kissed him, soft and slow. when you pulled back, he was smilingâwide and dazed and just a little glassy-eyed. âyouâre the only person whoâs ever said something like that to me.â
you pressed your forehead to his. âiâm glad i got to be the first.â
the silence returned, but it felt different nowâlike something warm and golden had settled between you. and even though your eyes were starting to slip closed, your hand found his beneath the blanket, fingers lacing together.
he kissed the back of your knuckles. âi love you,â he said quietly. you smiled into the crook of his neck. âi love you, too. more than words could ever explain.â
and in that soft, moonlit quiet, your heart was the fullest it had ever been.
you loved waking up in his arms.
even before your eyes opened, you could feel himâhis steady heartbeat beneath your cheek, his bare chest warm against your skin, his breath slow and even near the crown of your head. the weight of his arm around your waist was grounding, fingers twitching ever so slightly against your spine, like he was dreaming of you.
your lashes fluttered, and in the pale morning light that spilled through your curtains, you looked up at himâsleep-soft and beautiful. his lips were parted slightly, hair tousled and falling into his brows. you reached up, brushing your fingertips against his mouth, then his cheekbones, then the bridge of his nose.
you smiled to yourself, cheeks already warm.
your thighs ached when you shifted slightly beneath the covers, but the ache was sweetâa quiet reminder of what the two of you had shared under the stars just hours ago. a reminder of how loved you felt.
you snuggled impossibly closer, nose tucked against the hollow beneath his jaw.
he stirred at the movement, a sleepy hum leaving his throat as his arm tightened around you. his lashes lifted slowly, and the second his eyes landed on you, his whole face lit up. it wasnât fair, you thoughtânot when his smile could melt every part of you.
âmorning,â he murmured, voice still hoarse with sleep. his thumb brushed your hip lazily, like he couldnât stop touching you even if he tried. âhow are you feeling, baby?â
you hummed into his chest, pressing a kiss just above his heart. âa little sore,â you admitted, lifting your gaze shyly. âbut⊠really happy.â
he chuckled softly, a low sound that vibrated through his chest. âi figured. i wasnât exactly gentle, was i?â
you swatted his side lightly, and he grinned.
âiâll help you shower,â he offered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. âif you want.â
your face heated instantly. âyouâre just trying to see me naked again.â
âiâve already seen you naked,â he pointed out, smirking slightly.
you buried your face in his shoulder. âeunseok!â
his laugh was everything you wanted to hear first thing in the morning. he kissed the side of your head and whispered, âi love you.â
you peeked up at him again, biting back a smile. âi love you too.â
his eyes softened as he cradled your jaw and kissed you properly this timeâslow and sleepy and full of meaning. and then, without another word, he gently pulled the blanket off your body and lifted you from the bed as if you weighed nothing.
âyou really donât have to carry meââ
âshh. my girlâs sore. iâm taking care of her.â
âyouâre ridiculous,â you whispered, arms around his neck.
âand hopelessly in love,â he replied, nudging your nose with his.
you let yourself be held, let yourself fall in love even more with the way he held youâlike you were everything. and as he carried you into the bathroom, whispering soft, flirty nothings and promises of a warm shower and warmer kisses, you knew that waking up like thisâheart full, limbs tangled, love heavy in the airâwas something youâd never forget.
eunseok didnât officially move in, but he might as well have.
he still technically stayed at his grandparentsâ place in townâbut most nights, he ended up here. heâd bring extra clothes, his toothbrush, his half-read books. he never meant to take up space, and yet somehow, every corner of your little beachside house now had traces of him.
but the most noticeable thing was him, always beside you.
sometimes, youâd be reading on the couch while he cooked dinner. other days, heâd be drawing or writing something by hand while you scribbled in your journal across the table. you didnât always talk. you didnât always touch. but you didnât need to. just knowing he was thereâexisting quietly in your space, filling the room with his slow breath and thoughtful presenceâwas enough to settle something in your heart.
you hadnât realized how much of yourself craved that until he gave it to you. a love so gentle, it never needed to speak loudly to be heard.
some afternoons, you still made it down to the beach. the water was warmer now. the sun hung lower. everything had a golden tint. youâd run along the sand, racing him and laughing when he cheated with long strides. sometimes he tackled you, both of you collapsing into a heap of giggles and flushed cheeks.
âyouâre such a menace,â youâd groan, brushing the sand out of your hair.
âyou love it,â heâd grin, rolling off you just enough to press a kiss to your cheek.
he kissed you constantly nowâwhen you woke up. when you walked past. when you handed him a cup of tea. when you laughed at one of his dumb puns. and he always said it, too. âi love you.â like it was the easiest truth in the world. you said it back, always.
you meant it more each time.
he took you back to the overlook one evening. the same one from weeks ago, where you sat close but didnât touch, where he said all he thought about was you. now, the space between you didnât exist. your head rested on his shoulder, his arm around your back, your legs stretched out and tangled slightly.
âpretty sky,â you whispered.
he looked at you instead. âyeah.â
his fingers laced with yours, thumb brushing the inside of your wrist like he was trying to memorize the beat of your pulse. like the rhythm of your heart had become his favorite song.
you stayed until the sky turned lilac and the first stars blinked into existence. neither of you moved. not even when the night breeze kicked up.
you just stayed, like you could stay forever.
back at home, you danced.
there was an old jazz record spinning on your auntâs dusty playerâsomething warm and slow, all saxophone and crooning vocalsâand the living room lights were off. only the soft glow of the kitchen light lit your silhouettes, casting shadows that swayed across the walls.
your arms looped around his neck. his hands settled naturally on your waist. you rested your cheek against his chest and let yourself be held.
âyouâre good at this,â you mumbled against him.
he laughed, breath warm in your hair. âat what?â
âbeing here.â
âwith you?â he asked softly. âitâs the easiest thing iâve ever done.â
you lifted your head, just to see the look on his face. it was full of something you didnât have words forâjust love. the kind that simmered low and quiet, never showy, but endless.
you kissed him slowly, the music spilling through the open windows like a lullaby.
one night, you were curled up in bed, cross-legged with your guitar in your lap. the strings felt worn under your fingers, the wood smooth against your palms. you didnât know what made you start humming. something about the quiet. or the fact that he was just lying thereâon his stomach, chin resting on his arms, watching you with that look.
his whole body was still, like any movement would break the moment. his eyes were soft, full of something unspoken.
you looked up from your guitar and caught his gaze. âwhat?â
he didnât blink. ânothing,â he said. âjust⊠i think iâll remember this forever.â
you bit the inside of your cheek, cheeks warm. âyouâre just saying that.â
âiâm not,â he said, shaking his head slowly. âi mean it. the way you look right now. the way you sound. the way this feels⊠itâs something i donât want to forget.â
your breath caught in your throat. you didnât know how to respond.
so instead, you kept strummingâquiet and clumsyâand let the weight of his words settle into your heart, where theyâd stay. where heâd stay.
somehow, he became your home.
there wasnât a clear moment you could point toâno dramatic turning point, no flash of realization. it just happened gradually, like the way light fills a room in the morning. quiet. natural. complete.
youâd wake up with his arm around your waist, your cheek tucked against the curve of his chest, the soft inhale and exhale of his breath lulling you in and out of sleep. sometimes heâd murmur something you couldnât fully hear, not yet awake enough to process. other times, heâd just hold you tighter, like heâd been waiting all night to feel you again.
mornings were slow now. you didnât rush anything.
eunseok made coffee the way you liked itâtoo sweet, too milky. youâd perch on the counter while he moved around the kitchen barefoot and soft-eyed, hair messy from sleep. he always kissed you on the cheek first, then the nose, then the lips. you pretended to be annoyed, but your heart bloomed every time.
you both did your own things during the day. sometimes heâd read on the couch while you tried to teach yourself a new recipe. you didnât need to fill the silence. it never felt empty.
the days blurred together full of soft edges, quiet joys.
you swam againâoften. sometimes at sunset, your skin glimmering gold as he chased you through the waves. other times in the middle of the night, when the world was still and moonlit, and he whispered your name like it was sacred as he held your hand beneath the water.
he cooked dinner often. youâd sit on the counter and kick your feet while he stirred sauces and diced vegetables, humming to whatever vinyl you put on. sometimes he made you try things with your eyes closed. you always trusted him.
there were days when youâd walk to the bookstore just to be near him while he helped customers. heâd give you that little smile from across the roomâjust enough to make your stomach flipâand pass you folded notes when no one was looking.
miss you already. meet me behind the shop later?do you know how pretty you look when you read?thinking about kissing you for the rest of the day.
he always smelled like warm paper and clean soap. you were always a little dizzy around him.
some nights, you danced again.
not for long. just a song or two. his hands always found your waist. yours always found his chest. you moved slowly, letting the music fill the space between your bodies until there was no space left.
you told him you loved him every night. he always said it first. and it never sounded routine. never lost its magic. it always sounded like a promise.
one afternoon, you asked if he wanted to see your favorite secret placeâa hidden spot beyond the dunes, near a crumbling old dock. he followed without question, carrying a blanket and a bag of snacks. you sat cross-legged, toes buried in the sand, watching the tide roll in.
he laid beside you, one hand tucked under his head, the other reaching for yours. you traced shapes on his palm. he closed his eyes.
âwhat are you thinking?â you whispered.
he was quiet for a long time.
ââŠthat i wish time would slow down.â
you didnât answer. you didnât know how.
you just scooted closer and tucked your head beneath his chin, and stayed there. still. quiet. warm.
the first time you realized how used to him youâd become, you were brushing your teeth and found yourself reaching for a second toothbrush to hand to him. he wasnât even in the room.
another time, you caught yourself reaching for your phone, your fingers already typing his name without thinking, like he was the default person for everything now.
every plan you made included him.
every thought bent toward him.
every part of your day felt shaped around his presenceâeven the quiet ones, even the ones where you didnât speak much at all.
you werenât sure what it meant, what it would become. but it felt real. and it felt like forever, even if you didnât say it aloud.
one evening, the sun dipped below the horizon in a pool of peach and pink. youâd been outside watching the sky fade when he appeared behind you, arms wrapping around your waist.
âpretty,â you murmured.
âyouâre blocking the view,â he teased.
you rolled your eyes. âiâm taller than the sun?â
he didnât answer, just pressed a kiss to the back of your shoulder. âyouâre all i can see.â
and you swore, in that moment, that even if you forgot everything else about this summerâthe names of flowers, the taste of peaches, the sound of ocean windâyou would remember this. his arms around you. the quiet sky. the way he said it like he meant it.
the storm rolled in slow, but the air was heavy all day.
you felt it before the first drop of rain even hitâsomething restless in your chest, tight and aching. it wasnât just the weather. it was the creeping sense that something was shifting. like summer itself was slipping through your fingers, and with it, everything youâd come to know and love about your days here⊠about him.
eunseokâs bag was by the door. his shoes lined up beside yours. his toothbrush next to yours. he belonged here. but lately, everything had felt a little off-kilter. your silences had grown longer. your thoughts had gotten heavier. he didnât say anything about it at first. he just gave you your space. let you drift and recenter the way he always did.
but space only gave you more time to spiral.
you were lying on the couch while he cooked dinner, curled under a blanket, eyes unfocused on the ceiling. rain pattered softly at the windows, not yet a storm, but enough to paint the world gray. he called your name from the kitchen once. twice.
âyn?â
âwhat?â
he paused. ââŠnothing. just checking.â
you heard the hesitation in his voice. the quiet concern. the way he always softened when he spoke to youâbut tonight it scraped against your nerves.
later, at dinner, you barely touched your food. you were pushing pasta around on your plate, nodding absently as he told you something about the bookstore. the town. a neighbor's dog. you werenât even pretending to listen, not really. your mind was a million miles away.
âhey,â he said gently, finally putting his fork down. âwhatâs going on?â
you looked up too quickly. âwhat?â
âyouâve been somewhere else all day,â he said. âall week, actually. you keep disappearing.â
âiâm right here.â
âno, youâre not.â
you exhaled sharply. âi just have a lot on my mind.â
âthen talk to me,â he said. âyou donât have to carry it by yourself.â
âyou wouldnât get it.â
his brows furrowed. âtry me.â
you stood, suddenly needing to move, to get away from the heat rising in your throat. âyouâre always acting like you understand everything about me, eunseok, but you donât.â
that stopped him cold. âwhat?â
âyou think you know me,â you said, pacing now. âyou think because weâve spent weeks together in this little bubble that you understand everything iâm feeling? you donât. you canât.â
âso tell me,â he said, his voice growing sharper. âstop assuming i wouldnât understand. stop deciding for me.â
âyou donât want to understand,â you snapped. âyou just want me to smile and be quiet and read next to you and not say anything when it all starts falling apart.â
he stood now too, jaw clenched. âthatâs not fair.â
âit is fair,â you said, breath catching. âbecause iâm the only one here thinking about what happens after this. youâve just been floating. pretending this isnât temporary.â
he looked like youâd slapped him. âyou think i havenât thought about the end?â
you turned away, arms crossed. âi think youâre just fine pretending like weâre in a fairytale, and when itâs over, youâll just⊠go.â
âgo?â his voice cracked. âyn, do you honestly think i could just go?â
you didnât answer. your silence said enough.
âgod,â he whispered, pushing a hand through his hair. âi love you, and you still donât believe me.â
you flinched. the words shouldnât have hurt. but they did.
âdonât say that right now,â you said tightly.
âwhy? because youâre angry? because you want to push me away before i can leave you first?â
your chest rose and fell with the effort to hold back tears. âmaybe because you saying that doesnât fix everything.â
âiâm not trying to fix everything,â he said, stepping closer. âiâm trying to get through to you. i donât want this to end either. do you think itâs been easy for me to love someone this much, this fast?â
you shook your head, but he kept going.
âi think about you all the time. i wake up thinking about you. i fall asleep next to you and i still miss you when you roll over. iâm terrified, yn.â
your eyes met his, wide and wet.
âthen why didnât you say any of this before?â you asked, voice trembling. âiâve been walking around like iâm the only one whoâs scared to lose this.â
âbecause i didnât want to make it worse,â he said. âbecause i thought if we just held onto each other a little tighter, it wouldnât feel like slipping.â
a long silence followed.
the rain had gotten heavier, now hammering against the windows like it was trying to break in.
you were both breathing hard, chest to chest, heat between you still crackling with the remnants of the fight.
and then you stepped into him. buried your face in his neck. his hands came up instantly, pulling you into him like he was afraid youâd disappear.
âiâm sorry,â you whispered.
âi know,â he murmured. âiâm sorry too.â
the storm had slowed to a whisper, nothing more than soft streaks of rain sliding down the windows now. everything inside the house was hushed, the air thick with apology and the fragile tenderness that always followed a breaking point.
you sat together on the floor, backs against the kitchen cabinets, legs stretched out in front of you. the dishes were still on the table, untouched. his hand was loosely holding yours, thumb brushing slow arcs against your skin like he was trying to memorize it again.
you were both quiet. not because you didnât have anything to sayâbut because you were still finding your way back to each other. and neither of you wanted to rush it.
eunseok was the first to break the silence.
âcan weâŠâ his voice was quiet, unsure. âcan we not fight again?â
you looked over at him, and your heart softened at the slight tremble in his brows. he looked so young like thisâlike a boy trying to figure out how to love someone with his whole chest.
âever?â you asked, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the sting still in your chest.
he mirrored it. âever,â he repeated. âor, at least⊠not like that again. not the kind where we forget weâre on the same team.â
you leaned your head against his shoulder, and he rested his cheek on the crown of yours.
âi didnât mean it,â you whispered. âwhat i said earlier.â
âi know,â he murmured.
âi just got scared,â you said. âi started thinking about the end before we were even close to it.â
âme too,â he admitted. âjust⊠in a different way.â
you pulled back slightly to look at him.
âi started imagining what it would be like to not have you near me every day. and it made meâi donât know. defensive, i guess. itâs dumb.â
âitâs not dumb,â you said quietly. âit means you care.â
he reached for your hands, fingers lacing with yours.
âi do,â he said, looking at you with that calm, steady expression he always wore when he meant something. âi care about you more than iâve ever cared about anything.â
your throat tightened. his grip didnât loosen.
âand yeah⊠sometimes i think itâll hurt. but that just means it matters.â
you nodded slowly, his words sinking into your chest like rain into soil.
âso,â he said gently, âletâs not fight like that again. and letâs not run from it when it gets hard.â
âwhat do we do, then?â you whispered.
he smiled, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand. âwe keep choosing each other. thatâs it. we figure out the rest along the way.â
you felt your breath catch. a tear slipped out before you could stop it, and he reached up to wipe it away with the softest touch.
âeven long distance?â you asked, barely audible.
âespecially long distance,â he said. âweâll make it work.â
you leaned in, pressing your forehead to his.
âno rules? no timelines?â
âno rules,â he promised. âjust us.â
and when he kissed you, it felt like sealing something sacredâlike promising to keep your hearts stitched together, even from miles apart.
you woke with your face pressed against his chest, his arms still around youâheavy and sure, like he hadnât moved all night. like maybe he was scared to, in case you disappeared.
you shifted a little, just enough to look up at him.
his lashes fluttered, and then his eyes cracked open, already smiling before his mouth caught up. he looked at you like there was nowhere else heâd rather be. like nothing else existed outside of the bed you shared.
âgood morning,â he murmured, voice low and still soaked in sleep.
you swallowed. your chest ached, but not the painful kind. it was soft. a slow swell. full of something that had grown too large to carry in silence any longer.
âi love you,â you whispered, voice barely a breath. âi really love you.â
he blinked slowly, like your words had wrapped around his entire body. then he kissed your forehead, once, twice, three times.
âi love you, yn,â he said gently. âso much.â
his hands rubbed slow circles into your back and you nuzzled closer, pressing yourself against him like you needed to fuse into him to stay alive. you felt him shift a little beneath you and glanced up with a small pout. âdonât go,â you whispered.
âi wasnât,â he said, voice warm. âjust moving. youâre glued to me, remember?â
âyouâre my air,â you mumbled into his chest.
he laughed softly, rubbing your back. âokay. okay, iâm not going anywhere.â
you stayed like that for a long while, until the morning light was fully spilling into the room, the storm outside gone, the sky calm.
eventually, you got upâreluctantly, lazily, moving around each other like a dance as you brushed your teeth and tied your hair. he offered you his hoodie even though the sun was out again, just because he knew you liked to feel wrapped up in him.
you made a simple breakfastâtoast, eggs, fruitâand sat close enough to share a plate. your feet brushed under the table. neither of you said much, but every glance, every quiet smile felt like its own sentence.
afterward, you took a trip into town for groceries, fingers laced as you strolled the aisles of the little local market.
it wasnât busy. soft instrumental music floated overhead and there were only a few other shoppers. everything felt slow, gentle.
you read labels aloud to each other. picked out your favorite fruit. bickered over which pasta shape was superior.
âthis one,â you said, holding up penne.
âwrong,â eunseok replied, grabbing the farfalle. âbut okay.â
you rolled your eyes and he leaned in to bump his shoulder into yours.
he let you push the cart after that, walking with his hands tucked into the pockets of his hoodie, stealing glances at you every few minutes like he couldnât quite believe you were really here, still choosing to stay.
and you couldnât stop watching him either.
how he picked up a bag of flour with too much care. how he smiled at a little kid who waved at him by the cereal aisle. how he always circled back to you like you were home base.
you wanted to freeze the moment and live in it forever.
on the walk back, the air was cool again, clouds thin and silver overhead. you shared an umbrella even though it wasnât raining. your heads leaned into each other, and you walked like that the whole way back.
when you got home, he helped you unload everything, setting things gently in the cabinets like heâd done it a hundred times. like this was his place, too. and maybe it was now.
you glanced at him as he placed a bunch of bananas on the counter. youâd fought yesterday, but you were still healing today.
the summer wasnât slipping away all at onceâit was unraveling slowly, in golden threads. and you held on to each one. the days had softened into something quieter. less urgent, but no less intense. you and eunseok had become impossibly closeâentangled in routine, in memory, in rhythm.
on monday, he brought you iced tea in a mason jar with lemon slices floating in it. you were lying on your stomach in the backyard, sketching half-baked drawings into your journal, when he plopped down beside you, stretching out like a cat in the sun.
âwhatâre you drawing?â
you rolled over to show him. ânothing, really.â
he looked anyway. âi like your nothings.â
he stayed like that for hours. didnât speak much. didnât need to. he read next to you while you traced shapes into the grass with your fingers, your ankles touching, warm and comfortable. it felt like forever, even though it was just a monday afternoon.
the next day, you rode bikes into town. you wore his sweater even though it was hotâit still smelled like the skin behind his ear.
he led the way down the slope of the hill, glancing back to check on you every few seconds, like he couldnât help himself. when you caught him smiling at you, you grinned so hard your cheeks hurt.
âyouâre gonna get us both hurt looking at me like that,â you teased.
he stopped at the corner and let his bike fall over in the grass. âcanât help it. my girl looks pretty on a bike.â
you tried to roll your eyes but blushed instead.
you stopped by the bookstore, where he let you sit behind the counter while he tidied up some returns. you curled your legs under you and read aloud from a poetry book, your voice soft enough that he had to keep leaning in to hear you better. when you got to a line about the ache of loving someone quietly, you paused.
you both looked up at the same time. you smiled, your heart full and fragile.
âread it again?â he said, eyes too tender to look at directly.
afterward, you wandered into the cafe and split a flaky pastry dusted with powdered sugar. you didnât talk muchâjust held hands under the table and looked at each other like the world was made just for this. just for now. he wiped sugar from your cheek with his thumb, so gentle it made you want to cry.
later in the week, you found yourselves on the beach again. it was cloudy, the kind of sky that made the ocean look steel-blue, endless.
you rolled around in the sand like kids, play-fighting and giggling until your limbs were sore. he pinned you once, his hands on either side of your head, and you blinked up at him with a breathless smile.
âsay you surrender,â he murmured, nose brushing yours.
ânever,â you whispered.
he kissed you like a sigh. like you were something soft he couldnât stop reaching for.
that night, you lay tangled on a blanket by the dunes, tucked away in your own world. the moon hung heavy above the water, casting light across his face like a painting.
âyouâre staring,â he said, not looking away.
âiâm allowed.â
âhow come?â
âbecause i love you,â you said easily.
he blinked. smiled, slow. âwell. when you say it like that.â
he kissed you again. soft, gentle. like he meant to memorize the way your mouth tasted under moonlight and you let him.
you barely made it through the front door.
his hand was wrapped around yours, fingers laced, like letting go wasnât an option anymore. you giggled softly as he backed you against the door, kissing you between breaths like he was trying to tell you something he didnât know how to say with words.
you brought your hands to his face, holding him close as your mouths moved in rhythm, slow and searching. his lashes fluttered when you whispered his name.
âcome with me,â you said, tugging gently at his hand.
the lights inside were dim, shadows curling in the corners of the room, the only real glow coming from the moonlight spilling through the windows. you led him up the stairs, barefoot and quiet, hearts thudding a little too fast.
by the time you reached your bedroom, his touch had turned reverentâfingertips brushing your wrist, his thumb rubbing soft circles into the back of your hand.
you turned to face him, walking backward until your knees hit the bed. âyou always look at me like that.â
âlike what?â
âlike iâm the only thing you want,â you whispered, barely above a breath.
he stepped closer, the moonlight outlining his jaw, his throat, the soft part of his chest where your hands always found home. âyou are.â
you smiled and sat back onto the mattress, pulling him toward you. he climbed on with you, kneeling between your legs, kissing your shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his neck. your bodies moved slow, like you both knew you didnât have foreverâbut you had this.
he leaned in to kiss you again, and this time it was deeper, more lingering, more patient. your hands trailed down his back, under the hem of his shirt. you felt his breath catch when your fingertips grazed his spine.
âtake this off for me?â you asked gently, tugging at the fabric.
he nodded, and you watched him lift his shirt, slow and shy. your hands followed, smoothing up his torso as you memorized every inch of skin revealed. once it was off, you pressed a kiss to the center of his chest.
âyour turn,â he murmured.
you leaned back slightly, letting your arms slip from the sleeves of your oversized top. the cotton fell to your waist, and his hands moved up your sides, warm and careful.
âyouâre so beautiful,â he whispered.
you kissed him before he could say more, your lips soft and certain. his touch grew bolder, mapping you gently, his hands cupping your breasts again, but this time slower, as if learning them all over again. your thighs bracketed his hips, bodies slotting together naturally, and it felt like something that had always been meant to happen.
the two of you moved in sync, undressing each other like a slow danceâpausing between every shift to kiss, to touch, to look. when you lay back and opened your arms to him, he came to you easily, resting on his forearms, his face hovering just over yours.
âyou okay?â he asked softly, searching your eyes.
you nodded, breath shaky but steady. âi want this. i want you.â
his lips brushed your forehead, then your nose, then your mouth. âyou have me,â he said.
the way he entered you was slow, careful, his eyes on yours the entire time. you both gasped when your hips met fully, your fingers digging into his shoulders, his mouth slack with emotion.
you held him close. not just physically, but emotionally. like the summer might slip away if you didnât.
he moved slowly at first, tender, each roll of his hips punctuated by kisses to your cheek, your jaw, your temple. you whispered each otherâs names like prayers, your bodies speaking the words your hearts couldnât contain.
when it builtâwhen the heat curled low and unbearableâhe moved deeper, a little faster, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.
âyou feel like home,â you whispered in his ear, trembling.
âso do you,â he said. âyouâre everything.â
you kissed as you came undone, togetherâhim whispering how much he loved you, how heâd never stop, your tears slipping between your lips as your limbs trembled. he stayed inside you even after, holding you like the moment could last forever.
and in the quiet after, your breathing eventually matched. the world outside was still cloudy and gray, but it felt beautiful again.
because you were with him, and he was with you.
the morning came slow.
filtered through gauzy curtains, light bled across tangled sheets and soft skin, casting a golden sheen over your bare shoulder. eunseok lay beside you, one arm tucked beneath your head, the other resting heavy over your waist, fingers twitching like they couldnât bear not to be touching you.
you blinked awake to the sound of his heartbeat beneath your cheek.
you didnât move. didnât speak. you just breathed with him, letting each slow inhale keep time with your own, like it had all summer.
you tilted your head slightly to look up at him. his lips were parted, lashes casting small shadows under his eyes, hair sticking up at odd angles from the pillow. your hand found his chest, tracing the dip of his collarbone, then up the bridge of his nose, the bow of his lips.
he stirred. eyes fluttering open, his smile bloomed the second he saw you.
âhi,â he whispered, voice hoarse with sleep.
you leaned up to kiss his cheek. âhi.â
his arms tightened around you instinctively, like heâd forgotten for a moment that things were changing. but then the weight returned to both your chestsâthe knowledge that this was the last morning.
âhow are you feeling?â he asked gently, brushing a thumb beneath your eye.
âsore,â you admitted with a smile. âbut happy.â
he laughed softly, kissed your forehead. âwanna shower?â
you hesitated, burying your face in his neck. ânot yet. just⊠a little longer.â
he didnât argue. didnât move. just held you tighter, like you were something too precious to rush.
you stayed that way until the sun was high, and you had to start moving, packing, letting go--piece by piece.
he helped you, of course. folding clothes, zipping your suitcase, slipping small notes into jacket pockets when he thought you werenât looking. neither of you said much. there wasnât anything left to say that hadnât already been whispered between lips, pressed into skin.
when the time came, you kissed him goodbye not at the airport, not at the door, but right thereâamidst the rumpled sheets and shared silence.
you cried a little. so did he. but there was no desperation in it. no begging or unraveling. because you both knew this wasnât the end.
your bedroom at home smelled like detergent and dust.
you stood in the doorway for a long moment, blinking in the unfamiliar quiet, the ache in your chest deepening at the absence of him. you unpacked slowly, letting the familiar sounds of your house anchor you. and then, folded into the sweatshirt he had let you keep, you found the letter.
his handwriting was careful. not perfect, but soft in its own wayâjust like him.
yn,
i wanted to give you something that didnât need a signal or battery. something that couldnât glitch or lag.
i love you. you know that by now. but what you might not know is how deeply. how every part of youâyour laugh, your frown, the way you kick your feet when you read, the way you canât take a complimentâhas found a place inside me.
this summer changed me. you changed me.
iâll be counting the days until i see you again.
always, eunseok
you sank down onto your bed, holding the letter to your chest, the weight of his words settling over you like a blanket.
and for the first time since you left, you smiled without crying. because he was still yours. and this loveâit was just beginning.



















