I cant. I have everything I want
Yet my satisfaction is not at all quenched
Metaphorically drowning in all that I am and all i am not
To develop the amazing person beneath the rubble of my own destruction
You see, I destroyed myself, I have no one to blame but i
She left a trail of deceit and mistrust
So her words have no weight
My actions are heavily done
I'm weighted down by the depression
I know no one is expecting much from me
They are waiting for me to fail again
A cloak made of grey lead is put over me, and I can't hear, I can't see, I can't feel
Until I get into these fits where I can't fucking stand myself
In a way I haven't in years
I'm not looking at my skin
My imperfections in the complexion
I haven't looked into my own eyes in years
The girl on the other side of the mirror frightens me
She knows everything I don't want you to know
The way she fucking looks at me
Those painful fucking eyes
That's why I never look her in the eyes
To turn from water into a rock
Being flowy into a sturdy foundation
Those painful fucking eyes
Awake in the night of a dark, cold strife
Unafraid of the horror stories shes heard, more afraid of the ones shes seen before her eyes
The tiring cycle of this fucking depression
I get up and go to look at my son
And I know I can wear the cloak, I can look into my eyes, I don't have to fight
And the faith I never had in myself